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In the 85th edition of As We Leave 2026, Dhruv Gupta, a Y22 from the Department of Computer Science and Engineering, reflects on four transformative years of balancing intense academic rigor with meaningful connections at IIT Kanpur. From overcoming early rejections to mastering the corporate and quant grind, he candidly shares his journey through demanding course loads, UGP research, and late-night project deadlines. Ultimately, Dhruv reminds us that while hard work and achievements are rewarding, the true essence of college lies in holding onto peace of mind and cherishing simple, shared moments with lifelong friends.
Hi everyone, this is a bit of a long one, kinda a diary I wanted to write before I leave. I wanted to do justice to my college experience. Also, a lot of stories I couldn’t talk about here are there in the photos. Do tell me if you enjoy my not-so-boring diary. Also, tell me if you wanna know the details…
There I was, a 17-year-old (yes, I wasn’t 18 until the first sem was over), first time away from home, seeing my parents go away with tearful eyes, not knowing how to feel, standing beside the stairs of F block in the grand Hall 13 (yes, it did feel grand at that time).
This must be the story for a lot of us when we first came to college.
But not just any college, IIT Kanpur, the dream we were about to live.
This was the start of the most amazing four years of my life.
The First Semester
Those 9 am PHY classes in the cold, the NCC parades, and 6 am PE classes. I have a love-hate relationship with them. I hated waking up so early in winter and getting bored in those classes. But I also made a lot of friends there.
I used to be the first one in our wing to wake up for PE, and I used to wake up the whole wing. Not to sound arrogant, but I would like to take credit for why some of them didn’t fail 😂. Those PHY114 assignments gave me a group to start with and a surface to initiate conversations.
All in all, I learned a few things—
- If you are deciding whether to talk to someone or to ask for help. Always go and talk. The worst that can happen is a rude response or an embarrassing moment. But it wouldn’t matter in the long run. The best that can happen is you get a new person to interact with.
This is how I made friends, and some of those are still my best friends who stayed with me till the end of my final year.
- If something is boring, useless, or difficult but necessary, it’s the same for everyone else too. Trust yourself. You are not alone.
Now, there are many “illegal” places on campus. DO not VISIT THEM. DO not GO with your 20 friends on rooftops at night.
Well, I did not visit any of those or do most of the fun stuff in the first semester. I fell ill 4 times before December, once quarantined since I had a 103°F fever (Kanpur was an orange zone, and corona wasn’t completely gone).
MTH was hell. And getting out of the “I need to study” mentality after JEE is not that easy, especially when you see people who “live” in the library.
But yeah, that is something I would like to advise. Don’t be as homesick or any kind of sick like I was. Enjoy and live every second of the first semester. The next chill time like this will be the last semester.
I did have a trip to Bombay for the Aditya Birla Scholarship interview. First trip without adult supervision. That was amazing. We had to change our flights from Kanpur to Lucknow unexpectedly, just the night before. That’s a story for another day. I still remember that thrill. This was the first interview of my life, and I was rejected, but who cares now?
Left to right: Mayank, me, and Pallav. Eating vada pav in the streets of Mumbai when we went for Aditya Birla scholarship interviews.
The Second Semester
The only trauma I remember was from the PHY and TA labs. Not to mention, NCC and PE too. Why do they need to make us suffer like that 😭?
The good stuff. The friend groups matured, the late-night shifts had started, and the clubs were looking for secys. Galaxy, Takneek, hall rivalries, interactions with seniors (other than the “sweet” SGs). Exploration was at its peak. It felt like transitioning to a new identity. Everything was changing.
To be honest, I tried it all, but I didn’t like most of the hall rivalry part. Galaxy and Takneek were mostly a waste of time. They definitely could better manage and respect our time. But yeah, it was fun too.
Some seniors told me I need PORs to fill my resume for internships. So here I was, chasing each POR I could lay my hands on.
I remember being disheartened not getting a chance in MClub, being very harshly rejected from the Photography club (that was a painful interview), being rejected from the Media wing of AnC (by my own bapu 😭), and being rejected from the Coco interview. Rejected from the Motorsports team. Failed tests for a couple of other teams. I had given up on PClub already after seeing their problem statements.
Then I finally decided to seek help. Called my bapu, Sushant, who was the most famous (who knows, might be infamous too lol) guy in college.
That was the first time I had sought help from him. It would have been a lot easier if I had talked to him right from the start.
But anyway, he told me everything about PORs. And why should I take one? Which ones to avoid? Do they help in the intern season? Whatever silly doubts and insecurities I had. I ranted about everything.
I also talked to a third-year senior, who explained that PORs are so much more than just points on a resume. They are your escape from the stressful acads, they are the means to make meaningful connections and a strong network. These conversations changed my perspective.
Then things changed. I became an SG myself. An AM too. Secy in IR wing. Secy in BCS.
The rejection spell was over (finally!!!).
One more important thing happened. I talked to Pragati in one of my MTH classes. Just a casual talk. That started a chain of events that led to us being inseparable best friends now.
What did I learn?
- Rejections are a part of life. This was so important during the intern season. I would have been really depressed at that time if I hadn’t tried for PORs.
- Seniors are nothing to be afraid of. Seek help. Don’t try to be a lone wolf.
- Not every opportunity is worth taking. It turned out it was for my own good that the motorsports team rejected me. Or SPO, or MClub, or others.
- Talk to people. Politely. Respectfully. Humorously. That one conversation can lead to lifelong relationships.
- Writing great essays and exaggerating your interests for the sake of filling in the forms. This is such an important trait. Apply first, enthusiastically. Either you grow up to the challenge and succeed, or you don’t grow up fast enough and fail. Either way, you learn.
Then the grades were out (again). The image of “Maggu,” which I had tried my best to fight, was now forever stuck with me since I got a high cpi (I know I shouldn’t boast 😐, but why not?)
The Third Semester
Finally. Finally, some courses worth doing. DSA, the one challenge I’ve been waiting for.
Also, yes, the 4 PORs I had taken when I was overenthusiastic.
The DSA challenge turned out to be harder than I thought as the semester passed.
Study time was forced up, as I once again tried to do everything on my own, while others copied assignments. And yeah, the competition in CSE is as difficult as it can be.
ESO was a trauma (why do I always have at least one course like that?).
CS201 made it feel like MTH again (though I could somehow understand it this time)
ESC labs were amazing. I had found my partner; you can guess who, obviously. And it was going great.
The PORs turned out to be more boring than I had expected. 1 am meets when I have 8 am classes!!! (Yes, I attend all classes).
It was tough to be an SG+AM. Imagine consoling someone for a bad quiz when you are unprepared for your own quiz the next morning. But it felt so great. Guiding my bacchas made me stronger myself. If I can tell someone that you can do it, I can tell that to myself too.
The orientation, this time from the other end, was a whole new experience. A bit of first-year nostalgia as well.
The AM class we took was so, so fun. I was proud of myself for having taught a class for the first time, and that too to knowledge-hungry IITians.
I ended up leaving the BCS; it was taking too much time, and my vibe didn’t match with the team. It felt as though I lost a part of me since I was fully committed. But I wasn’t making any progress there.
The friendship dynamics changed. While I got closer to the CSE peeps, the wing interactions reduced. I was never great at maintaining so many friends.
Again, what did I learn?
- Things are not always as golden as you had expected them to be.
- It’s okay to let go of things that are slowing you down.
- Don’t take too much on your plate. Get some time to relax.
- People change, so do you. Change is a part of life.
The Fourth Semester
I decided to start intern prep early, having done DSA now, and unfortunately, the whole December break went into that (it proved its worth in intern season)
Every course needed us to form groups. That gave me a strong study group and a great friend circle.
We were building a website—finally something useful as per a CSE degree.
RM became my home; all classes were there, so were the group meets, and the peace and environment needed to work.
PORs were giving less trouble, one less to handle, no orientation work as SG, and no AM class to take this semester. Some PPTs for IR wing, and all were set. With the projects underway, my resume would be full.
Everything was great. But something was missing…. Yes. Where was the fun part? Where were the no-purpose meetings with my wing bros? Where were the I-am-studying-random-shit-for-fun nights?
In all the hustle for interns. I missed a lot of these.
I don’t know about people who could manage everything. But it wasn’t in my blood to not worry about my career and have fun.
That is how my second year looked in a nutshell—a night sky with some bright stars; some happy moments in an otherwise stressful life.
The Summers: Intern Prep
The intern grind started. We had a plan—Pragati and I first focused on DSA, LeetCode, GFG, and InterviewBit. Then, the last 20 days were spent preparing for Quant– Brainstellar, puzzled quant, etc.
It’s very important you don’t prepare alone. It’s too depressing already. Also, prepare with someone who matches your intellect and is interested in similar job profiles.
The intern tests came. The series of bad OAs. Rejections. Names not found in interview lists. This was the case for my whole intern test group and me.
It was when the quants came that I finally saw some light. Unlike my DSA prep, the quant prep turned out to be fruitful. And the CPI, a single number, which I realized is more important than all PORs combined.
I got shortlisted by Optiver, Graviton, QuadEye, Quantbox… A lot to do on Day 1.
Well, things weren’t all great. My grandfather passed away while I was giving intern tests. I went back home after 10 days, after all the interviews were done, and I had an intern. My father, who was my support system, had a whole family to handle. Pragati handled me then, during most of my stressed-out phases. It’s very important to have people like this around you.
Day 1 of intern season was possibly the luckiest, most successful single day of my life. I somehow made all the right decisions and handled interview pressure beautifully (I have no idea how). Got an internship at Graviton.
The lost, gloomy, and stressful months of intern prep felt worth it in that dreamy moment at 3 AM. It took my test group friends some time to get an intern. I was at home and couldn’t help much, something I still regret.
The Fifth Semester
Intern season sorted.
Many people were looking for UGP. Pragati and I decided to do a UGP in systems; CS220 was the best course so far (thanks to Mainak sir). We knew Mainak Sir hadn’t given a UGP since 2018, but we thought it was worth a try. And yup, that’s how we ended up with a UGP under him. To answer all the people who have asked me, “How??”, we did nothing special; we just went and asked. It’s that simple, guys.
Professors are very professional with 3rd years. Being a 2nd year felt like being a little kid, but in the 3rd year, it felt like I had grown up.
Didn’t overload this sem, wanting to chill.
And yeah, those were the acads.
Something life-changing happened. We went to Manali. My first trip with FRIENDS. A 9-person group. It was so much fun: 10000 photos and so many memories.
It was a big deal for me, because I could finally cross out a big item from my checklist. And I could see my goal of making a good friend circle in college getting real.
The fifth sem concluded, another dassa and a refreshed mind.
The Sixth Semester
We realized for a BTH degree, we need to overload this semester. And what did we do? Like any sensible overachiever, we took Compiler. It wasn’t compulsory anymore, but we had to do it. As if UGP and a course under Mainak Sir, with the rest of the DEs and an HSS, weren’t enough of a load already.
But when there’s a will, there’s a way. Somehow, magically, we met every deadline and got praised for both the Compiler project and the UGP. In our campus lingo—”Puri tarah Chaap diya.” But the challenge wasn’t over yet. We attended classes but didn’t focus on anything other than projects and assignments. So there was a lot of syllabus to cover, and the courses weren’t easy. We had our exams starting from 30th April. Buckled up. Still 14 hrs of focused study.
The hard work paid off. I got 5 A* and 1 A. It turned out to be the worst sem mentally but the best sem academically.
This is the key takeaway—
“The grind is worth it, but only if you don’t lose your peace and yourself in the process.”
In my attempt to excel and connect with people at the same time, I lost the connection with myself.
It was the busiest, most exhausting experience of my life. Nothing too eventful happened until midsem. After the midsem break, when we saw our scores, I was devastated. I was so not getting an A in compiler. I got a 61 out of 120 while all my friends were in the 80s and 90s. Other subjects were good, but since everyone scored well, relatively, it was not an advantage. I realized I still have that academically competitive fire in me, which I thought had been extinguished in the first year.
I was so overwhelmed at that time; projects were not going great. I was doing everything I could, but it felt like nothing was getting done. I wasn’t satisfied with my scores. The classes were becoming increasingly boring and exhausting. I understood and experienced depression for the first time.
Then came that day. 1st April evening. We met with the prof for the Compiler project and realized that all we had done so far wasn’t what was expected, so we needed to start again from scratch. The UGP was stuck; the work we had accomplished so far was apparently too trivial to show, and the next non-trivial target seemed a million miles away. CS422 assignments were pending, and the CS633 course project was due. CS425 assignments were there, too, though they were trivial. And quizzes. And project presentations. 10th April, CS633 submission. 11th April: last UGP meet to get feedback on our work, submission of CS422 assignment. 18th April: UGP presentation. 20th April: Compiler Presentation.
I cried that day. I was already working 14 hours a day, living at RM, sleeping less than 6 hours, and skipping meals. Double the hard work of my peak JEE prep. And still it wasn’t great.
The Seventh Semester
My internship at Graviton went better than anticipated. The 10-12 hour quant work in the office felt easier after the 6th semester. I was hoping for a PPO.
But the problem was. Most of my friends didn’t get a PPO. Pragati got a PPO but wanted to go for placements anyways. So while everyone was prepping for placements, I was fighting assignments and attending classes alone. I took it upon myself to help everyone in their placements in whatever ways I could. I knew it in my heart that MY people would have done the same for me. It was kind of the loneliest semester, being surrounded by people, but everybody is tense with their own battles. At the same time, if I compare it to last sem and intern, there was very little work to do. I wanted to party, go out to eat, and go on some trips, but people weren’t ready for all that yet. So I spent a lot of time by myself, in activities I liked, something I had missed since my first year.
I also took up tutorship for DSA, and it gave me so much satisfaction to be on the other end this time. I couldn’t believe the lengths students can go to make up answers when they clearly have no idea what they are writing, just to get a couple of marks in an 8-mark question 😂. It was fun.
But yeah, the BTH degree, 6 courses again. As soon as midsems passed, the load got real again. I was a PPO guy, so I could handle it, but things were harder for the placement guys.
The endsems went well. Placements went great; (almost) all my friends were placed in high-paying jobs. And that concluded the 7th sem.
I had to learn how to relax again. My body had forgotten how to chill since the 2nd-year grind started. My mind…that still needed relaxation. I know I was stressed too because of placements. How could I be chill when all my folks are stressed and I can’t do much to actually resolve their anxiety?
The Eighth Semester
Finally, the stress was over; the college was about to end. One last semester to go! But only one semester left. 🙁 It hurt to think of it that way. And yeah, I still had to do 5 courses for my Honours degree (why exactly did I want this again?). So yeah, I picked the 2 DEs and 3 OEs, none too challenging, kinda low effort (except classes). After all, I wanted to have free time and no worries about coursework. Aaah, not to lie, I did stress out in exams (omg I haven’t studied all semester, what do I do now?). But all went fine.
But then the fun part. Yes. The rooftops. I had visited L20, ESB, NCL, Outreach, Hall 13 spread throughout my 2nd and 3rd years. I found the way to the TA building’s roof. Ask me if you don’t know the way!
I also had a trip to Jaipur with a completely new set of friends, and that was memorable. Being in Rajasthan again, the food, the weather, the people, the vibe. I had been to Jaipur before, but with college friends, it’s a whole new experience.
And not to mention a LOT of outings with Pragati – all the unexecuted plans. I know people have been doing these things since 1st year. But better late than never. From movies to shopping, from cafe hopping to eating bun-makkan on the streets of Kanpur, I checked off every item on my bucket list.
Those late-night walks, endless cycling, and exploring a different building each day. Literally everything on campus, which I had thought of doing but couldn’t do in the first sem.
I had rediscovered how to enjoy and have fun in a whole new way.
Then the farewell came, and WE performed on a stage. Oh, I was afraid; I had never sung solo or in a duet before. But there I was.
I honestly cannot do justice to this semester in a few more lines. So I will leave it just here.
These four years changed me. Completely. I came here as a little boy. Unaware of the diversity in the world. Unaware that such and such experiences were waiting for me. I have grown.
I learned a lot of new things. Most importantly, I learned that memories are not just in some grand events. Memories are in the little moments that we remember with people.
That bun-makkan on MT, that sleeping in class, those last-minute submissions, that silly fight over UNO, that one mafia game where everybody messed up, and that shouting together once exams are over.
Yes, remember all your achievements; remember all the times you fell and rose again. Remember those depressing moments, too, for these will give you hope when life gets tough. But also remember the people who stood by you in the ups and downs of life. People who cried with you, who laughed with you, who celebrated your tiny achievements like grand successes. People who taught you how to live life. People we call … our true friends.
Leaving the college was a bittersweet goodbye, the end that marked the beginning of a new life.
I would like to end this “diary” of mine with this quote—
“We were taught to climb mountains. Now that I have climbed to the peak, I can see the cloudy sky above clearly. Now it’s time to learn to fly. And fly above the clouds. Fly. Fly high with my flock.”
Written By: Dhruv Gupta
Edited by: Ankita Narang, Anandan Iyer
