Sandipan Mitra, is a graduating Y19 in the Department of Civil Engineering. In this piece, he reflects on the ups and downs of his college life, all while citing references from the sitcom “How I met your mother“. He talks about the beauty of embracing failure, the importance of taking chances, the joy in discovering his passions and much more.
Disclaimer:- The views presented below are the author’s own and are not in any manner representative of the views of Vox Populi as a body or IIT Kanpur in general. This is an informal account of the author’s experiences at IIT-K.
Hey there! What’s your favorite sitcom of all time? For me, it’s HIMYM (How I Met Your Mother). The series is beyond the discussions of five friends sitting at McLaren’s or Barney’s playbook incidents or Ted’s hopeless romanticism; it is about life (people who watched HIMYM can relate). Most of its dialogues can resonate with our life incidents, and that’s when one realizes it’s an emotion. This AWL contains a few such dialogues, which also might simultaneously encourage you to watch the sitcom 😛
“I realized that I’m searching, searching for what I really want in life. And you know what? I have absolutely no idea what that is.”
It’s easy to get lost in the plethora of opportunities we get here, and we don’t know which will be beneficial, interesting, or life-changing for us in the long run. The decision to go for a branch change or stay and explore the current branch, the dilemma of choosing between research and corporate, studying hard enough for an ‘A’ grade or prioritizing sleep (of course, mental peace matters during exams), or just follow the herd – the list can get endless. The cherry on the cake was that I had always been an indecisive kid – I always asked my mom or dad to make important decisions for me, be it selecting a T-shirt or choosing a college via JOSAA. But I understood it’s not a sin to make a wrong choice – at least you know this particular option isn’t what you’d be looking for in the future.
“Here’s the thing about mistakes: Sometimes, even when you know something’s a mistake, you gotta make it anyway.”
Don’t overthink much, and follow your heart!
Most of us have a thing for a particular cultural activity- be it singing, dancing, drawing, or photography. In my case, it was writing, so I fancied joining Vox Populi, the first of the many clubs/cells/societies I had been a part of. Among those few articles on which I got to work upon, I realised during the process that I loved interacting with people. I always used to look forward to the meetings, and those discussions were fruitful and interesting – where the opinion of every member mattered irrespective of the hierarchy. Sitting home (idle) during COVID, I felt being a part of more clubs or societies would give me more interactions. So in my second year, I joined as many as six of them, and with everything being online, it was easy to manage tasks for each of them. Sometimes the meetings for two or even three clubs clashed, so I used to join all of them through different devices, hopping through each at different intervals. In an offline scenario, given the hectic academic schedule in the 3rd and 4th semesters, I definitely couldn’t have managed all of them. It’s not like I was influenced by seniors to join clubs, who circulated the famous tagline, “Clubs join karo to acchi job lagegi,” but more out of self-interest. And I would also suggest my juniors at least join one club in their four years – it’s fun participating in and conducting all those club events while making new bonds with new people – because life here isn’t just about academics or placements.
Online semesters were a new experience for all of us, and the process of giving exams and interacting with each other online seemed exciting at first. But it was after returning to campus I realised online sems robbed me of many valuable memories. I feel jealous of the club/cell core team parties and the bonds the current batches enjoy. Online interactions are so different and superficial than how people interact in person. Although from the academic’s point of view, I consider myself lucky to do the civil labs online – I wonder how Y20s managed to do those geoinformatics labs in the sun! That definitely gives the students a “civil engineering” feel, something we Y19s missed/escaped (however you perceive it). But again, the disadvantages outnumbered those few advantages, and those two years were a big void in our college lives.
“That’s life, you know. You never end up where you thought you wanted to be.”
I believe we are destined to fail in certain important tests of our life, only to take inspiration from them and come back stronger. Accepting failures gracefully is very important. There were many such “failures” for me, such as being unable to convert the Overall Coordinator of Outreach Cell interview, getting the lowest possible grade in a DC course, screwing up my placement interviews, not making enough bonds with people here- the list can get quite long. I won’t say those things didn’t hurt – we all crave success and fame (and love), right? But if destiny has better plans for you, you can have an optimistic perspective on those results. So maybe don’t dwell much on the past that continues to hurt you, and focus on what lies in the future, maybe something even greater and amazing.
Some courses are meant to influence us in multiple ways and be remembered even after graduation. One of my friends got interested in his department after doing a certain DC (Departmental Compulsory) course, which also guided him to choose a stream for his MS abroad. Although in my case, it wasn’t one but multiple DCs that made my interests drift further from my major and onto other fields. I found solace in statistics and the HSS courses (two very different fields), and somehow the respective instructors were also instrumental in helping me stay glued to them. I always liked playing with numbers, which encouraged me to take up four statistics courses, and the HSS courses provided me with a refreshing change from the hectic technical curriculum- be it knowing about the Indian society or South Asian languages- for me, reading about these things was more of a hobby than forced cramming.
“It’s just, eventually, we’re all gonna move on. It’s called growing up.”
Not becoming an SG has to be one of the many things I missed the most. I won’t say I deserved to clear the interviews, or the then-core team was unfair (maybe they were, as most of us would still like to believe, but anyways), but it did hurt not being an SG during that time. Amusingly, none of my wingies (who applied) became an SG. I tried to compensate for it by being a part of many other clubs in my second year, and that disappointment gradually faded over time. I also applied for the core team of CS the next year, but I wasn’t serious about it at that time – mainly because they expected us to not have any other major PoR beside it – and I wanted to have multiple PoRs (silly thought-process, juniors please don’t just randomly go for multiple PoRs in your 3rd year). I felt that regret of not being an SG again resurfacing in my last few days here when I saw Y19s sharing stories of them giving treats to their bacchas/bacchis. There’s not much one can do in that situation, and sometimes you need to accept your fate as it is.
“If you’re not scared, you’re not taking a chance, and if you’re not taking a chance, then what the hell are you doing?”
It’s important to graduate without any regrets – try everything you wish to do during college and don’t have regrets later on. The famous saying- “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”– isn’t just meant to be admired in theory. I continued with a literature course in the last sem (an extra course), which required regular reading of novels, despite losing my reading habit some three years ago. I didn’t get the best grade in it, but it still helped me regain my reading skills. Performing in the Dance Extravaganza (DE) with my wingies was a memorable experience for me. After the fresher’s dance, I couldn’t get a proper opportunity to give a stage performance, and DE helped me fulfill that. Also, I gathered the courage to confess to my crush. The response wasn’t favourable (expected), but sharing my feelings with her was necessary, and I respected her sweet and mature response.
I find it amusing to now remember that I had been a very homesick kid. Delhi being some 4-5 hours via train – I used to run away home every month. In contrast, before leaving the campus recently, I delayed my homecoming till the very end to ensure I didn’t miss out on anything. Some say it’s the campus; others say it’s the people who make it worthwhile here. Both are irreplaceable in their aspects, and even if they don’t make up for a memorable four years of your IITK journey, they help you with the learnings you ought to inculcate for the future.
Although I hope to be in touch with most of my peers, we know deep down that it won’t be the same again. Yet, as a legend once said- “Whatever you do in this life, it’s not legendary unless your friends are there to see it.” (Barney is a legend) – share your best moments with your friends. Life can be good by yourself. But, like everything else, the best experiences are always the ones you share with others.
Written By: Sandipan Mitra
Edited By: Shruti Dalvi, Vrinda Sharma
