Vox Populi brings you the fourth edition of the series Unorthodox Career Choices. We interview people who have taken the leap of faith and bring their stories to you. This edition brings you the story of Udai Singh Pawar, an alumnus of the Y0 batch. Udai Singh Pawar is a Director and a Writer, known for the Netflix Original Film Upstarts (2019). He was earlier an Associate Director, known for Airlift (2016) and Yeh Saali Zindagi (2011). A former scientist who worked in Microsoft Research, then a traveler who backpacked around the world for a year with a guitar and a camera, Udai has been working in cinema since 2009. Check out some excerpts from our conversation with Udai.
How was your life as a scientist in Microsoft research? When and why did you decide to leave it?
I did 5 years Integrated Physics at IITK. My 3rd-year internship was in an R&D dept of a film & technology company. In CSE dept, prof. Amitabha Mukherjee and Manu Prakash, a fellow student, used to set up a student activity called BRCS (build robots create science) which got me interested in education technology. My Microsoft job was improving education technology in a research-oriented manner. I got to publish a lot of research papers and also got a couple of patents. I really enjoyed that job.
But soon I realised that a Ph.D. was essential to be a true researcher. I was not very keen on the idea of going back to some university for 5 years. In school we didn’t really have an option, we had to become an engineer and for that, we had to get into an IIT. But now that I was getting a choice, I felt that “hamesha to ye nahi karna hai, although achha hai”.
Also, Microsoft paid a lot of money for research on village education. But the salary that I was getting was for providing computers in village schools. I could do 10 times better with the same salary than giving them computers so I felt a bit of a mismatch. My other love was traveling. I used my Microsoft savings to travel around the world for 1 year. After returning, I decided to go into films.
How did you cross the mental threshold of leaving a well-to-do job and join the world of cinema? What motivated you to join cinemas? What was your family’s opinion?
While I was in Microsoft, we had to fill a job review form every 6 months. It always had this question – ‘How do you see yourself in 5-10 years from now?’ I never had a good answer to it. I had dived into the research-side too and I liked it, but I didn’t want to do it for the rest of my life. The mental shift happened when I realised that I had given the “orthodox things” a good shot and I knew I’m good at those things, which gave me the confidence to listen to myself.
In school, I was in the videography society. In IITK, I helped in the formation of the Film Club. After doing a job for 3 years and traveling 1 year, I really wanted to go into filming and this was the one chance.
As my first job at Microsoft went well, I could tell my parents that I’m not useless, I’m not wasting my life! (laughs). My parents were obviously worried because Bollywood has a very low probability of success.
How has your life changed after deciding to work in Cinema? Can you compare your day now to the one as a scientist?
It was very different. Microsoft is a very disciplined, organized, and meritocratic company. While the artistic life is very chaotic, the film industry lacks structure and is uncertain. Engineers like logic, order, certainty, and are not good at dealing with a lack of structure. That is why my first two years in Bombay were difficult and frustrating. It took me a while to get a hang of it. I learned that life is not just 2+2=4, or black and white, but life is in the grays. In the beginning, there was quite less guarantee of income. During my first 3 years in the film industry, I made one-tenth of what I made in Microsoft. One of the things is that you shoot for 2 months a year, and the remaining 10 months you try to make those 2 months happen. But in the end, making movies is the best job in the world for me.
How difficult is it for someone with no family background in films to become a movie director in present India?
It is quite difficult. The number of people trying is far, far greater than the number of seats, kind of similar to JEE. I think it’s an inefficient system: the system is not only based on merit but also requires a lot of luck. In my 11 years in Bombay, no one has ever read my resume completely. It is not a place for that; here you get introduced to someone from whom you meet someone else and after 100 attempts you get a proper chance and then you have to be good at it. In the end, it is a combination of luck as well as hard work. Also, film-making is a difficult skill that you can completely learn on the movie set itself.
As we’re told, you entered the Indian Cinema in 2009, while you directed the movie “Upstarts” in 2019. Can you tell us something about the journey of these 10 years?
I got nowhere for 3-4 months in the beginning. At one point, I got so desperate that I had to wait outside the house of a director with whom I wanted to work! He was very amused that being an IITian, I still want to work in this field. My first job in the film industry was to write blogs and Facebook posts for a movie. And I wasn’t paid for that. These odd jobs helped me make connections there. Then I got to know Sudhir Mishra, and he offered me a job in his upcoming movie. Eventually, I became an assistant director under him. Then after working as assistant director for 8 years and working in different movies, I finally got someone to put money in my film for me to be a director.
What are some of the things that would have benefitted you if you had known them earlier, and who guided you during your initial phase in the Indian Cinema?
There are some things which you can only learn by doing them. I made a lot of mistakes but I’m glad that I made them because that’s what got me here. A film is very much like a start-up. Suppose you work on a start-up idea for 1-2 years. If the idea works out, you would be glad that you did not leave it and if it doesn’t work out, you would regret working on it. Working in movies is similar. My last movie as an assistant director came out in 2016 and Upstarts was released in 2019. Now I feel that I should have focused on more than one project in those three years.
One of my two mentors is Raja Krishna Menon who is the producer of Upstarts. He is also the director of Airlift. He was ready to produce a movie written by me. So he is the one who gave me a big break. My other Mentor was Sudhir Mishra with whom I worked during my first 5 years.
Who are your role models in the film industry? Which directors do you wish to emulate?
It’s a hard question because we’ve got many good directors. The directors whom I look up to in Bollywood are Sudhir Mishra, Anurag Kashyap, and Dibakar Banarjee. Zoya Akhtar is one of the best directors in a long time. I also admire Raja Menon who was my first boss, Sriram Raghavan, who directed Andhadhun. Vijay Anand, the director of Guide, and Guru Dutt, who has made Pyaasa were one of the greats in the olden days. In the west, I appreciate the work of Steven Spielberg, Martin Scorsese, and Wes Anderson.
How has the Indian cinema evolved from when you used to watch movies as a child to now?
Every generation thinks, “Pehle sab accha tha, ab sab ganda ho raha hai”, as if they’re the last good generation. Some things were better in the ’80s and some things are better now. I separate craft from art. Craft includes production value, techniques, and technology, which have definitely improved now. Also, story-telling has improved. On the other hand, it’s become mainstream to produce big-budget films that aren’t great writings, even in Hollywood. Currently, the cinema is dominated by big stars, lacking less famous actors. Earlier, many actors weren’t very big stars, like Nasiruddin Shah, Om Puri, and Sharmila Tagore. Nowadays, there are either very big films or very small films. The middle ground is missing.
How do you see movies as a means of bringing about a social change?
It’s a very complicated question. Some people see movies as art while, for some, it’s just entertainment. So the fundamental question is, how art can change society. Some pieces of art can, some pieces can’t. Some pieces are defined for it, some aren’t. Similarly, some movies that are designed to create an impact, some aren’t. It’s a petty example, but consider, Dil Chahta hai; People started keeping their beards like that of Aamir Khan in it. I don’t think people or their lives will change after watching a single movie, but movies, as a whole, can raise questions to society and reinforce different ideas. One major change can be seen in the gender of a lead role. Earlier, only a man used to be in the main lead. Nowadays, more women are being cast in the lead role.
What are your thoughts on the notion of art movies vs commercial movies? And which one of the two do you prefer?
You can write a novel sitting alone in a room. You can create art using paint and brush. But, a film, by definition, requires many people. My movie, Upstarts, even though a small movie, had a crew of 153 members. Making a movie requires a lot of money and in return, requires making money. Every film, hence, is a commercial film. An artistic movie might not always make a lot of money, but it will be more provoking. A movie shouldn’t be made only to seek money. But, a movie needs to make money. I believe the movie should be balanced on both sides.
What work have you done in the film industry so far? What are your goals for the future?
I worked as an assistant director with Sudhir Mishra, for 5 years. My first film was Yeh Saali Zindagi, starring Irrfan Khan. Then, I worked on Inkaar, featuring Arjun Rampal, which is available on Netflix. Then, I started working on Mehrunissa, with its probable lead actors as Amitabh Bachchan and Rishi Kapoor, but it never got made. Then, I worked on Airlift as an associate director. The Airlift director was, in fact, the producer of my next movie Upstarts which was written and directed by me. Making a film is like a start-up. You make a film and as soon as it gets over, you need to come up with a new idea. My future goal is simply to be a mainstream director as I’m still a new one.
How did your IITK years influence your career choices and shape your overall personality, and coming from a technical institute, has your technical knowledge helped you in your field of work?
An engineering institute trains your mind to work in a structured and logical manner, more than teaching you. I disagree with people saying that they haven’t used what they’ve studied. I don’t use Physics in my work, but the problem solving that I’ve done helps a lot. It’s not necessary, but having some knowledge about the technical courses, it somewhere benefits me, like in sound mixing, although it’s just a small impact.
In IITs, we have Galaxy, and the creative ambition that it induces in someone is immense. I met some of the most creative people in my life on campus. Just because you’re engineers, just because you crossed JEE, just because you’ve not learned professional art doesn’t mean you’re not artists.
Also, the people I talk to the most are my wingmates. I lived with my batchmates during the first job I did in Bangalore. In Bombay, they even helped me even though I was unable to return back to them because I had very little money for a while, and I’m still friends with them. So my IITK years have influenced my whole life monumentally. Even my father’s from IITD and he’s best friends with his batchmates.
It’s something magical about being from an IIT because you’re part of something so unique, you suffer so much together. “MTH 101 mein sab fail hote hain, vahi gande se bathroom mein sabko nahana hota hai, vahi khaana sabko khaana hota hai.”
What message would you like to give to the student community of IITK?
Oh, too many messages! (laughs)
People stay quite dukhi in IIT-K. Never think that you’re alone, there is someone who is suffering as much as you are, maybe more. You will find people like yourself in the campus, get to know them. If you feel alone because “Life me pyaar nahi hai”, don’t worry life gets better! (laughs). Even the ten-pointers face ups and downs in their life. I feel that this intense environment makes you better. You’ll always find someone with the same odds, same problems, and same fears as yourself. As IITians, we have a sense of ego and we don’t share our worries and insecurities. We let it burn and bubble inside us, but you shouldn’t suffer silently. Whatever you want to do, be it establishing a start-up or code or go into research, there will be someone in the same boat. Life won’t be ideal, but it’ll get better. You are not just a part of some batch, you are a part of a solid, 60 years of history! You’ve got a strong network of alumni, reach out to them, without hesitation!
Credits- Abhimanyu Sethia, Ananya Gupta, Devansh Parmar, Raj Varshith Moora, Sarvesh Bajaj, Varun Soni
