In the midst of the reign of mid sem terror, Vox assumes that you are taking a 300-esque last stand to save your grade. With that in mind, we bring you some ingenious hacks, to save this half of the semester, which may or may not have your best interests at heart (you are advised to use your discretion to figure out which is which).
1. Misery loves company. Participate in Bulla sessions aka pity parties and come up with arguments as to why your situation is the worst in the wing? To illustrate one such typical conversation:-
Supreme Maggu of the Wing (contrived worried expression in place): “I haven’t even started assignment 6 yet, I am <beep>”
Maggu of the Wing (semi-genuine worried expression in place): “I haven’t even read lecture 6 yet!”
Non-Maggu of the Wing (panicked, eyeing washroom nervously): “Lecture 6 is in the syllabus?”
Supreme Non-Maggu of the Wing (grassy joint in hand) : “Mid-sems? What mid-sems?”
2. Imagine this: 4 hours to D-Day (D= destruction; obviously); it’s an ungodly time of the day and your brain is rebelling outright against any additional mugging. What will you do? It’s simple really, undertake an operation to hamper the mugging of others around you. Here is how:
Troll the ever-anxious, go-getting Hermiones/ His-miones of your hall by adding extra chapters to the syllabus each time she/he comes to you seeking to confirm the same.
Place a set of well-executed prank calls on some gullible, unsuspecting people (preferably known people to prevent future trouble!). The more absurd the conversation is, the better; hysterical laughter guaranteed.
3.Ponder deep, philosophical questions like: “Is engineering the right career choice?”; “We can take up to six years to complete the degree requisites, right?”; “Want to listen to this brilliant idea I had for a startup?”; “What do you think should be the answer to life, the Universe and everything, if not 42?” Research has shown that pondering such deep questions can actually increase your IQ by 37.4 points! Research has also shown that people will believe anything followed by “Research has shown..”.
4. This close to the exams, it is imperative to be healthy. So beware of the Just-One-Episode Syndrome. If your brain seems to have convinced itself that one episode of so-and-so series will drive all the stress away and you’ll get right back to studying after (haha!), then, you are definitely suffering from the disease. Quarantine yourself if you’re feeling philanthropic; otherwise, spread the bug far and wide.
5. If you feel like you haven’t wasted enough time on social networks, then, we have an extremely constructive activity for you: dig up old, embarrassing photos of a random wingie and go on a like/comment spree. Before you do this, though, remember that this is very likely to backfire and you might be the victim tomorrow.
6. STRESSED written backwards is DESSERTS. Extrapolate desserts to include all things food, and voila, the world is all right again. Some culinary cop-outs from studying on campus are:
The typical mad dash to the canteen a couple of minutes before 2 a.m. to refuel for a night out. Build up war-chests of Lays/Kurkure/Haldirams to last the night and get set to conquer the books again.
Narrowly missed the canteen? Head to the OAT and experiment with all the new food joints.
For those who need hourly caffeine fixes: head to CCD (fat wallet) or the Academic Area canteens (slim wallet). If it’s the former case, go on a dessert binge in CCD and always say yes to extra chocolate sauce/cream/ice cream.
Now for some last-minute express mugging tricks every procrastinator should remember:
Do not get carried away with point number 2 above. Remember, it is the Supreme Maggus who conduct the wing-level lectures, which are desperately needed to break even and get at least average marks. So don’t piss them off too much.
Remember the only people who are going to buoy the sinking ship that is your preparation: Academic Mentors! Place all dignity and self-respect aside and shadow them relentlessly.
Bunked most of the lectures? Never fear, OCW is here. Watch online lectures at 1.5x or 2x speed a night before the exam. Sometimes finishing quickly can be a good thing 😉
That’s all for now, folks. To stress-busting, mugging, procrastination and midsems! Mug strong and prosper!
Written by Parth Sharma and Vaidehi Menon
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