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In the 6th edition of As We Leave 2026, Manasvi Nidugala, a Y22 student in the Department of Biological Science and Bioengineering, shares her journey from a shy fresher who accidentally chose IITK to an Inter-IIT sports standout and a BCG consultant.
Instead of a traditional timeline, Manasvi structures her reflections around her personal “Patronus memories”,from navigating early academic hiccups to finding her footing in neuroscience research at IISc, steering the Brain and Cognitive Society (BCS) as a coordinator, and leading the institute squash team through heart-wrenching losses to a celebrated podium finish against long-time rivals.
Disclaimer:- The views presented below are the author’s own and are not in any manner representative of the views of Vox Populi as a body or IIT Kanpur in general. This is an informal account of the author’s experiences at IIT-K.
As I sit on my laptop, after procrastinating this AWL far too many times lol, I wonder how I will ever fit four years of memories and moments into one piece. Perhaps the procrastination was just a way to savor those memories, and stay in denial for a bit longer that maybe, just maybe it was not over yet.
Perhaps letting it all go should be done in a similar fashion to how I came in, with a touch of magic perhaps? (fellow nerds, unite)
A patronus is conjured only if you think of a memory, not just any memory- a happy memory and a powerful one at that.
As much as I would love to go in chronology, I’ll be deviating to talk about the things I adore, so bear with the messiness of this AWL. Perhaps, in a way, it reflects how I’ve lived these four years of college :p.
Patronus Memory #1: Just A Little Spark
I remember the first time I entered campus, looking at the IIT Kanpur board, tearing up because, well, I had made it, and there lay the wealth of opportunity waiting for me to grab it. This was my first patronus memory.
We were firsties, bumbling around, giggling, and relishing the freedom that campus could finally afford us. Orientation happened, Freshers came and went, I learned how to “khol”, had my first night-out of many, made a set of friends, also had an amazing roommate and got introduced to so many new things. Honestly, I found the sweetest wing ammas I could have asked for, and I will forever be grateful for all the guidance.
First year was also the year I made my fair share of mistakes (academically, primarily). In hindsight though, every single one taught me something or the other. Of course they felt horrible at first, but when you look back, you realise that gosh, it really did make me better, it gave me much-needed motivation and grit.
Dear reader, mistakes will not break you.
I know that is a hard pill to swallow, and you probably won’t believe me when you are going through something in real time, but trust me, it gets better. You learn from it. Do I wish I had not made those mistakes? Obviously yes. But we do not have a time machine to wind back the clock and change things. The best we can do is breathe, believe that we will be alright, and work towards making things right.
Patronus Memory #2: Some More Sparks
Time passed, and somehow, out of nowhere, we became second-years.
Summer projects happened (btw I had the best mentor ever), and secy-recruitment season was suddenly upon us. Everyone scrambled to get spots in clubs they were interested in (or just out of FOMO lol).
My dear juniors, please join a club or society. You really do find your people there.
I know everyone says this, but trust me on this one. I found some of my best friends through my club, and of course, truly wonderful seniors too.
Academically, this was also the time I began exploring research, and funnily enough, it was the first time I properly met my branchmates. Third semester was a whirlwind, but I met some beautiful people. I found my musketeers (only love for these cuties), and suddenly studying did not feel nearly as dreadful. Pro-tip: find people in your branch who genuinely motivate you to do better. I got lucky, mine also became some of my closest friends.
A little segue here, but I think I always felt a very special connection to my branch, and I’m deeply grateful I chose it. It gave me incredible professors, wonderful branchmates, and perspectives that shaped the person I became.
Second year was also when I started playing squash for the institute team.
Across the years, the squash court saw some of my worst days- days when I wanted to break down, cry, or rage at the universe, but it also witnessed some of my happiest ones. Days where laughter bounced off the walls, giggles filled our drills, and life somehow felt lighter. My seniors were always supportive, the team stood by each other through every loss and every win, and I will always be grateful to our coach, who not only made us better players but guided the team through so much. I travelled more because of squash than I ever imagined I would, and somewhere along the way, I also developed an unexpected love for Punjabi-Haryanvi music hehe.
Jokes aside though, I genuinely would not be half the person I am today without squash. It taught me perseverance under pressure, how to keep showing up after bad days, and most importantly, how to learn from mistakes instead of letting them consume me. So if you ever get the chance, join a sports team. I know it is a huge commitment, but trust me, it is so worth it.
Anyways, I went to my first Inter-IIT in 2023, and kids, let me tell you, it is the best experience you will ever have. The adrenaline, the sportsmanship, the team bonding, not just within IITK, but across IITs, is something I don’t think I’ll ever experience again. I have had the privilege to go to three inter-IITs, and every time I came back renewed. Every win was euphoric, and the losses were so heartwrenching, but we all still stood strong till the very end, and that is what stuck with me. One of my patronus memories from this Inter-IIT was getting recognised as Best Player. It will forever remain a core memory for me. Having my people cheer me on was one of the best feelings I have ever experienced.
Fourth semester rolled in, and I got selected as Coordinator at BCS and was given captaincy of the squash team. I did not know it then, but these roles would end up giving me far more than I ever gave them.
Patronus Memory #3: Hmm, is that a glow I see?
Second-year summer was when I went to IISc to explore neuroscience research, something I had known I wanted to pursue from the moment I stepped foot into college. I loved the research, but somewhere along the way, it also made me wonder whether I could truly do it long-term.
So, like many before me, I sat for the intern season. However, I took what felt like a huge risk: I sat for only three companies, all consulting, because I knew I did not want to get into software.
Now dear reader, this genuinely felt terrifying at the time. But I also knew that if consulting did not work out, I would much rather return to research than settle for a role I knew I did not want. So, in my head at least, it felt like a risk worth taking. Luck shone upon me, and I landed an internship at BCG. And soon enough, all my friends got sorted too.
Through the happiness of landing an internship however, I faced a tumultuous time emotionally. Therefore, I did what I knew best: by throwing myself into work and commitments on campus (so healthy, amirite?).
Dear reader, somewhere during college, you’ll realise that while you meet some wonderful people, you also lose some. And that hurts. You grow. They grow. Sometimes your lives simply move in different directions. But I think there comes a point where you stop mourning the loss of people, and instead appreciate what time you had with them and accept that they have run their course in the book that you call life. And in a funny little twist of timing, around the same period that I lost some friendships, I also found my people, or rather, grew closer to them.
Third year gave me the people I could truly bank upon. People who somehow became home. No matter where life takes you, I genuinely hope you find these people too, because at the end of the day, every ship needs a shore to dock onto. Honestly, I consider this entire time of turmoil somewhat of a serendipity. I grew a lot through this entire situation, as I was finally exposed to new perspectives and worldviews, which made me approach life differently.
Handling academics alongside playing for 3 hours a day and managing the club at the same time was exhausting, but oh so rewarding. At the end of the sem, I had managed to get a great SPI, finished NNN (it is BCS’ flagship event for the uninitiated lol) and also found the best circle of people that I could be around. Getting those grades and rejoicing was a patronus memory, one that perhaps seems quite insignificant, but sometimes, certain victories matter deeply only because you know what it took to get there.
I think now might be the perfect time to deviate into what BCS meant to me. It gave me 3 people who I knew I could rely on at any point of time, my amazing fellow coordies. The late nights spent complaining about secies, preparing the PS for Takneek, figuring out how to be good club seniors, handing over the club to our beloved bacche and somehow laughing through all the chaos: those memories are ones I’ll hold very close. And then there was the club giving me my best friend, a senior I genuinely do not think I would have met if not for that first summer project. Funny how life works like that. I honestly do not know who I would be without them, or without BCS.
Patronus Memory #4: A Light That Flickers
After the incredible run that fifth semester had been, there was only one thing that could possibly top it off: an Inter-IIT win. But as fate would have it, despite months of rigorous practice, we were unsuccessful.
IISM’24 was perhaps the most heartbreaking loss that we faced as a team. We quite literally gave that tournament our sweat, blood (twisted ankles, scraped knees, a pulled back lol) and far too many tears. And as captain, losses across both teams felt deeply personal. We knew we had done everything we possibly could, and that luck simply had not been on our side. But how do you explain that to a heart that had spent months yearning to win?
I remember the team huddled outside the court, tears in our eyes, trying to comfort one another despite carrying heartbreak of our own. And strangely enough, that moment of collective grief became one of the strongest examples of camaraderie I had ever experienced. Because beneath all the disappointment was a quiet understanding that we really had tried our best.
My dear readers, sometimes you’ll be in such situations too, having worked so hard for something, but missing it just because the stars didn’t align. It will be hard for you to accept it then, but one thing I hope you hold onto is that nothing you work hard for ever truly goes in vain, even if it does not reward you in the way you expected.
Patronus Memory #5: Oof an actual ball of light, huh?
Sixth semester rolled by, and somehow, I was probably the free-est I had ever been during college and boy, I loved it hehe. Sadly, it was also the time when our seniors were preparing to leave campus. I remember the last night we hung out with our BCS seniors very vividly. We were sitting at OAT, and looking at the prism at the terrace, reminiscing about all the good days. I remember thinking that this was the last time we were juniors on campus, and that felt surreal, that we really had grown up.
Then came my summer internship, and with it, my first proper glimpse into adult life. And, um well, I wanted to escape almost immediately, back to my tiny room on campus and the safety of my four walls. Dear reader, I think something shifts in you by fourth year. You suddenly feel older than you did before, way older than the batches below you. Internships have a funny way of making you realise that life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows, and adult responsibility can feel terrifying. I’m glad however, that I had my people that I could rely on during the internship, the weekends felt lighter when I was around them.
Returning to campus as the senior-most batch on campus felt weird because what do you mean we couldn’t go running to our seniors when things went south? *sigh
In 4th year, everything on campus felt special to me, and prettier than usual (things usually are when you know you have very little time left with them). I remember the first round of cycling after I came back to campus. I was cycling along the road opposite the swimming pool, the trees were extra green because rains had hit campus, and was there ever a prettier sight?
I think I would like to call 4th year the year of friends. I made a best friend (blue-haired and free) out of an HSS class, made friends with random people by talking to them outside CCD, found a really great buddy (read: drama queen) through a mutual friend, and reconnected with an old one, to the point that we became near-synchronous (read: twinnn) in our thoughts. And all the time, I still had my lovely family that I made in 3rd year. I was lucky that I found an amazing wing (Chai Todo ftw) to live with in 4th year, and I had everyone I loved so close to me. I decorated my room for the first time ever, and it really started to feel like home. I learnt so much from all these people, from getting inspired by their focus and dedication to their work, to getting invested in F1, finding an interest in theatre, or developing a taste for niche indie music.
Inter-IIT’25 came around and the main motto of our team was to have fun, and yet, somewhere in the back of all our heads, we really wanted our final run to end with a bang. Of course, we practiced hard, but this time, every match, every practice session, every bus ride felt tinged with nostalgia, because we knew this was the last time we would wear the institute jersey, and the last time we would step onto court together.
We played our best, and we prayed a lot as well (especially as we reached the semis, lol). One thing I think I’ll miss the most is that feeling right before a match, heart racing, anticipation building, silently hoping everyone gives it their all. We faced off against our long-time rivals, who had knocked us out every semi-final before, and well, we won. I remember the ball dropping, and time stopped just for a second, and we all erupted into chaos, tears and screams. The feeling was surreal. We had finally done it. I do not think I had ever felt prouder of us as a team. Maybe because somewhere, it felt like proof that all those years of hard work had meant something. Despite not winning gold, this was probably the best ending that I could have asked for, and us running into court, with tears in our eyes, will always be a patronus memory.
Patronus Memory # 6: A slightly larger ball now, so close to the goal
And then, suddenly, last semester rolled in. Even the sharp winters felt lovely as we cycled through fog-covered roads. Last sem was a blur, but each still in that blur was a patronus memory. From the late night walks around campus inadvertently ending at OAT, the persistent knocks on the door to go eat, barging into rooms just to sit and yap for hours on end, the final end-tenure party, the times I went and ate at H4 and H1 canteen, hanging out on H6 rooftop, the dancing in our rooms with the speaker blaring, the department farewell, the times we got dressed up and did our makeup in a rush, exploring the multiple rooftops, the pictures we took with our coats on, the reels we made, and the nonstop laughter in the background of course: every single thing is forever etched into my memory. I remember sitting on the OAT stairs on one of the last nights on campus, looking up at the stars, and thinking that ohmygod, we really did make it. I survived 4 years here, and gosh first-year me would be proud of the person I am today. The realisation that something is going to end really does hit hard.
Dear readers, in your last year, take the time out to really think about how much you have changed, you will be surprised at how much you have experienced these past 4 years. Take the time to appreciate the good, the bad, the messy bits in between, because every experience leaves behind a version of you that mattered.
Patronus Memory # 7: A corporeal patronus, finally.
And then, suddenly, it was time to leave. I sat in the cab with some of my closest friends, looking out the window for perhaps the last time ever as a student, as IITK slowly zipped past me. Shadows of memories peeked from different corners, different versions of me, all of which this campus had seen and nurtured in its own way.
Everyone says it is the people, not the place. But I do not think you realise how important a place becomes until you are about to leave it. Because the place gave you the people that made it beautiful, and the environment for you to flourish. People say that if leaving hurts, then maybe that is how you know it really mattered. And gosh, it mattered. As memories replayed like an old film reel, I realised that I had really lived a life here, one that I know I will carry with me for a very, very long time.
Dear juniors, cherish your time here: try things, make mistakes, love people deeply, stay up too late, take that random cycle ride, go sit at OAT for no reason, enjoy that fest, go to that random dance event at Antaragni and party your heart out with your friends in the pronite. Because before you realise it, four years will pass in the blink of an eye. And suddenly, you’ll be the one writing an AWL at an ungodly hour, lol.
As I passed by the IITK sign one last time, I sighed, because so much had changed from the first time I saw the sign. I teared up once again, this time, not because of what was to come, but because of how far I had come in these four years. I will forever be grateful to IIT Kanpur, for all that it has done for me.
And this, my dear readers, is my last patronus memory, enough to conjure a full-blown corporeal patronus, and oh my god it took the form of a nilgai?! (Lol, I had to).
This AWL took ages to write (primarily because I was lazy lol), but I think it captures the crux of how college felt to me: messy, joyful, heartbreaking, and full of little realisations along the way.
Here’s to the end of an era, and the beginning of something new. I don’t know what comes next, but I can only hope it carries at least a sliver of the magic these four years held.
And if I ever do need a Patronus in my life, I think I know exactly where to look.
Signing off,
With lots of love,
Manasvi
Written By: Manasvi Nidugala
Edited By:Dishita Bajaj, Pratyush Sandhwar
