Mr. Shobhit Raina is an undergraduate student in the Chemical Engineering Department from the Y15 batch. Hop on, strap tight. As we leave on his rollercoaster ride.
I didn’t really know anything about the “As we leave” series before Anmol came up to me and talked about it. This idea though, it got me thinking about how amazing it would be to get the campus to know my perspective. I think it’s really important for people to not just look at the toppers, kids with high CPI or people with PORs but, kids, normal kids like me! So, this is what I have to say:
When I came to IIT Kanpur, as all kids are in their first year, I was pretty enthusiastic about everything. I saw the huge football field, the swimming pool and the Airstrip and I thought, this is something I would love to be a part of for the next four years of my life. My first lecture on the campus was given by Prof. H.C. Verma, whose book I had studied religiously for the last two years and the experience of being taught by such a big personality was simply amazing. I loved everything. Wing interactions were really fun. Slowly though, things started to get boring.
In class 11, My coaching teacher recommended that it was really important to take care of my health to prepare for JEE. So just to become better academically, I started running and doing callisthenics. It just became a part of my lifestyle. I could focus better, I felt better, and it took an hour or two at most of my day. I continued doing this in college as well. So, I think it was around my 3rd month here when I started to explore new things which I never thought I would before. I did a course in Linguistics, and there was this influx of ideas that popped up in my mind. I started exploring even more. I was super curious. The more I got to know about society and perspectives and basically how to live my life, the more wrong I felt from inside. I was going to classes learning a bit more every day about distillation columns or how a fluid flows, and it seemed completely useless.
I always thought my seniors would obviously know better and by following their advice, I won’t just become good academically, but a better individual and my overall personality would evolve. Hence, the advice given to me by 2nd-year seniors was very precious to me, although it seemed quite vague. So, I went to my 4th-year seniors; they asked me to focus on studies because it would land me in a good consulting job or to learn to code if I want to pursue a career through a coding job. I was laughed at when I asked them, “What if I wanted to do something else?”. I was confused. This didn’t feel right, So, I went a step further and talked to the alums who were doing really well. I asked them what can be done and got the same advice as earlier. But, when I asked one of them how does it feel to have done that and how is it like to be a product of that advice, his reply was something which changed my whole life around. He said, “Abhi toh bahut bekaar hai, sach bolun toh lekin paisa hai toh needs poori ho jaati hai and acchi jagah jaake daaru pee sakte hai”.
When I came back to my room, I was devastated. I didn’t want this life. The things that were being told to me would lead me to a place where I didn’t want to go. I was desperate to know what was right and eventually turned to the Internet. I read about all the people l admired and wanted to follow. They seemed fit, had a certain charm, they seemed contended and most of all they were doing something substantial. Consequently, I wanted to explore more. I did a lot of courses in English Literature, and it made me realise that the way I had been living my life was by listening to certain people, my parents for example and never really questioning why it is the way it is. This certain template of life was just a template. It would definitely help me to earn lots of money by the time I’m 30, and I would be able to afford things for my family but what after that? What about when I am 60? I would still have 20 years to go, and I couldn’t imagine myself going up to my office doing some stuff involving distillation columns when I looked at the clock almost every 5 minutes in the class in which it was being discussed. The people, to whom I looked up to, had all said at one point or the other that one should follow one’s heart and do something one loves. It seemed ridiculous; I loved working out, obviously doing it for the rest of my life sounded unsustainable.
I discussed this with my family and friends, and everyone said it was impractical, So I believed it, yet again. I got back to living my normal life, attending classes, chilling with friends and being a part of random events in college. Slowly, I became super depressed, and it all felt meaningless. It came down to a point when I decided that I would drop out. It was my 3rd semester, and I remember taking a specific end-sem exam of some Chemical Engineering course. During that exam, I became so stressful and felt so lost that I was planning in the midst of it all, how I am going to leave. I came back to my room and packed my luggage and told my mom I would leave the campus. She cried for an hour and told me just to get the degree and not worry about the CPI.
Perfect, that was easy. With this mindset, things became easier. I had a lot of time in my hand, but something was missing. I felt purposeless. I decided to give a shot to the idea of doing something I love for the rest of my life. I wanted to earn money by doing something in the fitness industry. The only thing I could do was content writing. I started emailing different fitness websites all over the globe. I was super motivated to make it, and it wasn’t tough for me. In fact, this was the best version of my life I had lived till that point. After hustling a bit, I heard back from 2 websites. After conversing with the editor for two months, I became a writer for a website. My confidence grew stronger. Fortunately enough, the company paid in USD, and I was getting my pocket money every month. Life suddenly became better. All my time, I focused on growing this passion. A certain spark was ignited in my mind. The idea of following my heart didn’t seem so impractical after all. After writing around 60 articles for a year, I decided to leave the company; I felt I could grow more, I believed I could do more. I started a youtube channel and thought through the fact that it would bring value to my life in the long run.
When I was in my third year, everyone was looking for internships. When I looked at those companies, I realized I would either have to code or go do some business analytics stuff, and I literally had no idea about any of that. I thought to myself, what if I could intern for a fitness company? So I started mailing. I mailed so many companies in India which were involved in fitness, health or wellness in some capacity. A corporate wellness company responded positively, and after some conversation, I landed in Bangalore for two months as an intern. I was doing something in the field which I wanted to work in for the rest of my life. When I came back to the campus and looked around, so many people had bad internship experience, and almost everyone hated the work. I am not kidding, I loved being there, and I am excited to go back as I got a PPO from the company itself. I wanted people to know that they have a choice. I am currently at a point in my life where I believe I have become pretty mature about his approach. Of course, that decision of leaving the campus was foolish. It’s more about the balance and priorities at different times of your life. I don’t think that it’s just about money. Even physically, I have become very fit, and it feels good.
I am currently in love with running, and I run 7-8 km on an average every day. Just a few days back, I did my 3rd 21 km run, and it took me 1hr38min. Probably, one day, I’ll run an ultramarathon or I don’t know what. But, one thing I know for certain is that no matter what, I will always listen to my heart because it’s never impractical. Mentally too, I feel much more confident in my own skin, now that I got to know myself more as an individual and not just a part of a group. Now, I see around; I feel that there are so many ways of earning money and there is no point in climbing a certain ladder told to you by your parents or your seniors just to realise way later that this wasn’t the ladder you were meant to climb.
I really believe that as we leave the campus, people should realise the fact that they are an adult and they are the only ones who know what kind of life they want to live.
Written by Shobhit Raina, Edited by Ayush Agarwal
