Vineeth Vijayan, a graduating PhD from the Electrical Engineering department narrates the journey of this life while at IITK in the 45th edition of the AWL series.

Disclaimer:- The views presented below are the author’s own and are not in any manner representative of the views of Vox Populi as a body or IIT Kanpur in general. This is an informal account of the author’s experiences at IIT-K.

A call from someone

I was in another IIT for my Ph.D. interview. Having reached two days earlier and lying in the hostel bed there, counting the sluggishly rotating fan’s ‘rpm,’ some invisible voice told me that Kanpur had prepared something. The following day, I flew from there to Lucknow and reached Kanpur to attend the interview. For the next seven years, I was in this historical city, in this legacy institute.

Initial struggle: Coursework, Comprehensive and SoTA

The most beautiful yet challenging part of my Ph.D. was the coursework. It was arduous, and I truly felt the meaning of the greeting,  ‘Welcome to IIT Kanpur.” Having a non-IIT background in the preceding degrees, I had to make extraordinary efforts to remain in the race. But then, I loved how the professors taught us- brilliant teaching blended with excellent classroom conduct. Every teacher entertained questions, no matter how simple (or silly). They did not dilute standards but gradually dragged us up to the required levels. Coursework foreshadowed what awaited us and bolstered my confidence for future research. 

I struggled in the comprehensive exam and could not answer several questions from the panel members. I felt clearly underprepared, but fortunately, I passed. That day my supervisor called on me and strongly expressed his concerns. I conveyed my shortcomings and the causes that impacted my confidence in the exam. That open conversation helped us to strategize the take-off. He suggested some research papers to read and a coding assignment to begin the research. I was reading two articles most days and making notes for the state-of-the-art examination (SoTA). But, in the coding assignment, the optimization problem was not converging despite modifications in my program for over four months. Finally, I approached my supervisor with my problem and he replied, “Vineeth, that’s the outcome of this assignment. Your code is correct; this method has convergence issues on bigger systems.” By that time, I was confident in coding. My SoTA went uneventful, as I was well prepared. Simultaneously, I started exploring co-curricular involvements.

Student involvement in decision-making

IIT Kanpur involves students in most decision-making. Being a faculty in a university system earlier, I knew the importance of learning academic policy-making. Such exposure would be critical for an academic career later on, especially in gaining maturity toward handling autonomy. I started volunteering as a Student Senate nominee to the DPGC of Electrical Engineering in 2016-17. From 2017 to 2019, I served in the SPGC. The executive student body entrusted me with the position of Ph.D. student representative to the academic senate in 2018-19 and retained me there till September 2022. When the same trust prevailed, I got an excellent opportunity to serve in PGARC.

I listened to the issues and concerns of my colleagues patiently and conveyed them to the authority appropriately. I brought new proposals to SPGC and Senate during my term, many of which are now part of the PG manual. I had a significant role in establishing outstanding Ph.D. thesis awards in 2020. We are one of the few academic institutions in the country which offers six months of maternity leave to Ph.D. students twice during the program duration. My proposal concerning this in 2018 was positively recommended by the SPGC and wholeheartedly accepted by the senators. In my experience, when students spoke in these forums, the faculty listened and valued us. I thank the Students’ Senate and the institute for these fantastic opportunities. IEEE and its Power and Energy Society (PES) were the other inspiring organizations I was involved in. 

But in a parallel world (!), personal life, some events were really happening!

The real struggle

I was married (to a dentist) between my comprehensive exam and SoTA. By the time I cleared SoTA, she had cleared her NEET exam and became eligible for PG admissions. She had two choices – Bangalore or Kanpur She opted to be with me and decided to do her masters in Prosthodontics at a Kanpur-based dental college a few miles from our campus. That decision resulted in her carrying our little one in her womb while going to the classes. In her thirteenth week, she was diagnosed with a pregnancy complication warranting complete bed rest. On several nights, IIT Kanpur’s’ ambulance carried us to a city-based hospital where she was admitted for several days at frequent intervals. I had to depend on my parents to pay the hospital bills as my stipend was insufficient. 

The choice of Ph.D. was mine, MDS was hers, and the baby was ours. It was a time when we needed help to protect everything. Family, supervisors, our institutes, friends – everyone supported us. Many professors with family met us in the hospital with homemade food and caring words. Many of our friends supported us as bystanders. When we needed an accommodation facility on the ground floor, with the recommendation of our HoD and DoSA, we were given temporary accommodation in the VH extension. No one asked me ‘why too many ‘choices’ together?’, instead, the question was, what else they could do for us? 

I should write about my supervisors here – Prof. Abheejeet Mohapatra and Prof. S N Singh. I did not have even a single conference paper at that time. Still, they never pressured me, allowed me to opt for reduced credits, and gave me manageable tasks. 

When we were struggling to protect our baby in his mom’s womb, my supervisors ensured that my Ph.D. dreams wouldn't meet a premature abortion.

Birth of two babies

Our baby was born in April 2019, and my first paper was accepted for an international conference a month later. I needed to publish papers in reputed journals now, and she had to return to college after maternity leave. Our parents came here to support us so that we resumed our academics. 

But then came COVID, and we returned home just before the first lockdown. I took this chance and sincerely worked on my first journal paper during those few months at home. After being rejected from two journals over six months, by addressing all those review comments, my first paper was accepted in an Elsevier journal in 2021, almost five years since I started my Ph.D. The Kanpur metro project had been completed much faster! 

After the COVID lockdowns, being a medical professional, my wife had to join back. Our parents could not accompany us this time as they had to look after our grandparents. It was really interesting to research distribution system optimization and babysit together during the day while my wife was on duty. I would go to the lab in the evening after my wife returned. At times we were tired and helpless but not willing to give up. 

In April 2022, I got my first publication in an IEEE journal, and in June, she finished her MDS. She went home with the baby now, and I could spend more time on my work. Subsequently, two more IEEE journal papers emerged from my study within six months. At the beginning of 2023, I started writing my thesis and successfully defended my Ph.D. on 30th May 2023. The second baby, my Ph.D. thesis, was delivered!

Lessons learned and acknowledgments

There were many instances that prompted me to quit, or at many points in time, I would have fallen down. I was sad, agonized, anxious, and bankrupt. As Tagore wrote, “My heart longs to join in thy song, but vainly struggles for a voice. I would speak, but speech breaks not into song, and I cry out baffled.” But, I could not fail, because I came to IIT Kanpur following an invisible call. ‘He’ gifted me wonderful people, great pillars of systemic support, and a determination not to step back. 

Ph.D. life is analogous to a long flight journey. We have to be cautious during takeoff and landing. If we have good captains and first officers, we don’t need to worry amidst heavy turbulence. They will steer us to success. Let me reiterate- When we were struggling to protect our baby in his mom’s womb, my supervisors ensured that my Ph.D. dreams wouldn’t meet a premature abortion. Having such people here was the biggest blessing in life, much more valuable than any medals or awards. 

I am thankful to my labmates and many other friends for offering their support and help in time. But, I’ll make a special mention of Shyam A B, a fellow EE Ph.D. student. He was a blessing for us here. For any help, from academics to babysitting, he was just a call away! It’s difficult to show the degree of selflessness that Shyam showed to me. 

Written by – Vineeth Vijayan

Edited by – Soumyadeep Datta, Aarish Khan
Designed by – Mayur Agrawal

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