Tanishq Gupta is a Y19 graduate from the Department of Biological Sciences and Bioengineering. In this piece, he walks you through his journey from his depression to GSOC to Singapore. Definitely no less than a roller coaster. However, it also taught him the qualities life requires the most- resilience and self-belief. Go ahead and read this AWL, Tanishq’s story will make you appreciate yourself and your abilities more
Disclaimer:- The views presented below are the author’s own and are not in any manner representative of the views of Vox Populi as a body or IIT Kanpur in general. This is an informal account of the author’s experiences at IIT-K.
Listen up, folks! Gather ’round for my tale. Tanishq, a name that echoed laughter & doubt. But let me tell you, when life gave me bouncers, I summoned my emotions & rose from the ashes. They jeered, I proved. Again and again and again. And just when life thought it got me good, I unleashed my secret magic tricks xD
Buckle up, ’cause this AWL is no less than a roller coaster ride.
A Humble Beginning: The Unassuming Protagonist
9 Oct 2016, Tanishq, a 15-year-old naive boy, could never have imagined that his world was about to change forever. His Grandmother, who was everything to him, takes her last breath right in front of him. Her last wish – Tanishq shall perform her last rites. Everyone was surprised if such a young boy could even be ready to take a huge responsibility, a responsibility he would have to carry his entire life.
13 days of the funeral and the boy matured at lightning speed. Now his eyes aren’t wet but flaming with a mission to win, to leave a footprint on this world. He was willing to do anything to succeed. But all he knew was gaming; streaming could be a viable option but he was not interested in trying his luck; he wanted to win at any cost. The most structured path to win – education, the one and only option.
A minute of introspection and he knew that his current condition was not even average among his small class. How could he even think about competing with the entire nation? Aim was clear, do or die, no other option.
One morning, his class teacher asked the class topper, as class 10th was ending, what he was going to do in life. He replied, “JEE”, and everyone praised him. She turned to Tanishq with the same question. “I will also clear JEE”, he said, but instead, he was met with laughter. The teacher replied with a chuckle,
“Oh, you know, you have to work hard for it.”
Tanishq said with confidence, “So what? I will do it when the time comes.”
The teacher mocked, “Oh really? What’s your score in the half-yearly in math?”
Everyone laughed but he smiled because he knew his revenge would come.
The results of the annual exams were out, and Tanishq was happy with his progress. ‘ C’ in science and a ‘B’ in math, a massive improvement for him. But the school counselor suggested that he should pursue Arts, considering has a very good performance in social science. However, he was determined to take science; all he knew was JEE. Unfortunately, the CGPA cutoff to get into science was too high for him.
Forged in Adversity: The Making of a Resilient Hero
There was a place that would welcome him with open hands – the suicide capital of India, aka The Kota factory. Enrolled in Allen, he was allotted a mediocre batch. The shuffling test was near, and Tanishq received a rank of 246/1071. Not good, but not bad either. His batch didn’t improve. However, he was quite audacious and started to sneak into the top batch. But his loud personality made it difficult to remain incognito. Soon, his peers started to mock him.
“Haha bro, in my score 2 Tanishqs can fit in”, “Wow, such a waste of parent’s money”, “Are you sure you have the IQ to study with us?”. His reply was a smile, he knew his time would come, and after months his time came, he achieved a rank of 19/1041. A shockwave for everyone – a student from a lower batch on the notice board, it’s Tanishq Gupta. His trajectory was like a rocket, shooting up in the sky, defying gravity. In Allen’s final test, he was ranked 63 among 10k+ students.
“The Day” was here- JEE advance was tomorrow. However, his anxiety took his sleep away. That night he couldn’t even sleep for a minute. He sat for paper 1 and performed exceedingly well. “Nothing special, just like a coaching test.”, he said. Paper 2 came, and now the toll of his sleepless night was evident as his mind began to shut down, resulting in a string of errors – errors like those he used to commit as an amateur.
Soon the results were declared. His rank in the second paper was over 100,000, yet his commendable performance in paper 1 got him a humble rank of 4871. His family, teachers & relatives were overjoyed and shocked by his achievement. But all Tanishq did was lie down and cry, shedding tears of regret because he knew what he was capable of. He wanted another chance, but a drop was not approved by anyone.
Over the Facebook JEE counseling forum, a senior mentioned branch change at IIT Kanpur. A new hope. Clueless yet desperate, he chose Biological Sciences and Bioengineering (BSBE) at IIT Kanpur – a desperate shot at a second life. To achieve it, he required a Dassa (10/10 GPA) in the first year.
Tanishq’s chatterbox personality earned him the nickname ‘Bulla Master,’ and with attention, he was met with a mirror to reality from the world. “Watch your branch before talking smack to us”, “Bro, he is from EE. He will buy you in no time.”, “Who does engineering to study bio? Lmao”, “Oh, what? BSBE? I thought you were intelligent.”
Tanishq, with Aman, his best friend who was also from BSBE, named themselves THE BKC – ‘Bsbe ke ch****ye’.
An ordinary evening, after returning from a Dramatics practice, Tanishq’s friend asked for his phone. Tanishq handed it over. Next moment he was in the air as his friend shouted, “24!”. A horde of batchmates swarmed him to give him a ‘GPL’. The average for that exam was 9/33. To escape their kicks, he used his drama skills and pretended he was hurt below the belt xD.
The mid-sem went well, and a Dassa was possible. It was the time of Antaragni, the most anticipated fest of IIT Kanpur. “I will study with full effort after this”, he said. However, fate had other plans. A mosquito bite caused him to get dengue, he was immediately asked to return home due to a severe drop in his Platelet count. He returned to campus with only four days left before the end-sem exam. He gave his absolute best but fell short of an A grade by 1-2 % in every course. In a week, his second chance at life was shattered, and a wave of depression washed over him. The virtual world of CS:GO, was his escape from reality. Now, Tanishq was officially a certified member of THE BKC.
Rising from the Ashes: shh! Have to Stay Lowkey
Covid halted everything, and Tanishq was at home. His time was divided between gaming and social media, where he loved to put hilarious comments all the time. One such incident got him banned from the photography club xD(The main comment before it got deleted received 117 haha reacts, though 🙂 ). Soon, his internet addiction became an obsession with self-help videos, and the TED talks reignited his confidence. He had self-belief and wanted revenge, but the path was unclear.
Tanishq started researching and planning for his comeback. He had a plan, and it looked like reaching for the moon afar. However, In his mind, he was no less than Neil Armstrong. He must stay low-key and keep his dreams to himself, or he will just be like an NPC barking.
Plan was started, it was 4th sem, Tanishq had a smart strategy- focus on a few important courses and don’t attend classes in lighter courses and get B’s with a day of study. He focused all his energies on ESO207 ( Data Structures and Algorithms ), targeting it for a retrospective – minor in CSE, HSO201( Probability and Stats ) and Google Summer of Code.
Worked as a secy web dev in Techkriti to understand software development better. Everything started to fall into place. He scored 49.5/50 in the HSO midterm exam and performed well above average in ESO207. Alongside, he submitted a proposal for GSOC.
As expected, he got an A in both ESO207 and HSO201. Few days later, PClUb IITK posted a poster with all the selected students for GSOC.
Everyone asked if this Tanishq Gupta is the same as our Tanishq? Not possible.. How can he do it….
No one had a clue he was even preparing for it for months.
Summer was a steep learning curve, with full focus on GSOC. You can read about his GSOC experience here ( http://tiny.cc/GSOCblog ). A newly formed cell, PPOC, approached him, asking if he was interested in interviewing for the head of the web team for the 2021 tenure. He agreed and convinced them that he knew a guy who was even better than him, Aman Dixit. And then, the BKC was the head of the web team of PPOC.
During the summer, Esports Society launched a tournament for Valorant. Tanishq had never played this game. However, its mechanics were similar to CS:GO, and his childhood dream to become an esports player was still in him. His team lost in the first knockouts. However, he and his gaming friends watched every stream of Valorush. They suspected a potential fraud in the finals- a student hired a pro player to play instead of them. He and his friends combined wrote this confession which got a lot of limelight. Their simple argument was that it’s worthless to award someone who doesn’t have feelings for the game. After all If you give a cricket medal to a football player he will never truly appreciate it
Twists of Fate: Triumph Through Turbulence
Intern session started. Tanishq wasn’t worried as he was focused on Mitacs, The Canadian Research Summer Exchange Program. He still took part in the intern sessions; coding tests were too hard, a lack of preparation was visible. 5th sem was an overloaded sem, But can manage, as there shall be no other difficulties? Yes, right? Haha, U never know.
Mitacs was in the bag,-8.8+ GPA, GSOC project, great sop-everything checked.
Nope, he forgot he was the unluckiest person alive. Mitacs rejected him at the first step.
What went wrong? Mitacs doesn’t consider a postdoc’s Letter of Recommendation. His mentor at GSOC was not a professor.
Plans & Dreams shattered again. At his peak moment of confidence, God gave him a reality check. In between midsems, media.net shortlisted him. One more chance but he had no preparation. However, he still knew DSA. The interview format was 1 super hard question and 1 hour, perfect for him. In the 1st interview, the interviewer was none other than Striver ( Channel: TuF ). The first 2 rounds went well. “Damn, I think I am in”, he thought as the last one shall be the HR round, right?
No? What? A special round? He was bombarded with questions which had to be done fast,
and under-practised, he gave up. *Rejected*
On the guidance of seniors, he focused on cold mailing. No replies… He lost hope..
Let’s cut losses. No intern, no problem. Anyways, we can have a foreign intern in the last sem. Yes?
Right??? Nope, not so easily, brother.
Oh god, all the odds were against him. But he was not going to live at the mercy of his fortune. The reason for rejection is that the 7th sem had the prerequisite of that course.
He mailed the professor. His argument was that the course is quite intriguing and it can really open doors for a lot of research opportunities for him. But if he does it in the 8th sem, he may not have any chance to pursue research. The argument mail was understood by the professor; it was put at ‘ask to meet’ instead of rejection
During the call, the professor clearly said he can’t give the course as he had not done the pre-requisite. Tanishq claimed he had already know the pre-requisite well enough from resources like MIT coursework… Professor asked questions to recheck to test his words. His answers were convincing though… Woah but how was he able to pull off?
Tanishq already expected what was about to come, so he went through as much material as he could in a day and with his confidence it was convincing enough. He was the only BSBE Y19 attending that course, he worked really hard and scored a B grade in that course. Now, winter has started. He has to attack the placements for another comeback. Competitive programming was his resort. He dove deep into it, so deep that he got obsessed, even in his dreams he was solving problems. His obsession paid him well, he was able to reach the Expert level in just 93 days. ( if you are interested in that journey check this short blog out “https://codeforces.com/blog/entry/100811 it has 234 upvotes ) After a few days he receives an email from University of California, San Diego with an assignment. He solves and gives immediately and he was awarded an internship. God is with him.
After a few days he receives an email from University of California, San Diego with an assignment. He solves and gives immediately and he was awarded an internship. God is with him.
Pre-registration starts for the 7th sem, his last sem and the Toughest – 65 credits + placements + finding an international thesis, completion of the degree with 2 cse minor and 8.5 cpi ( distinction ). HSS was a lucky draw, and he got his 17th / last priority one.
Nope, not taking this L. Can’t risk a hard HSS, had to play his card again.
Everyone had an eye on the Art course, the professor is generous with grades. A normal request is not going to be entertained, an out of the box mail was required. And it worked. He got into the Art course while everyone else was rejected.
The Bitter Aftertaste: When Success Breeds Envy
Summer started and he was supposed to prepare for placements.
He got another chance with valoRush’22. He practised and practised day and night to win this tournament. And with his great team he went on to win that Pan IIT tournament. ( epic play )For him, it was a childhood dream come true. But the amount of time spent on Valorant got him hooked again to his age-old gaming addiction… 15hrs straight playing. No problem, sir.
Tanishq’s aloof personality never shows any sign that he is serious about his life. Everyone is shocked and believes that he was a snake and he is doing some sort of cheating to achieve all this. He started to catch endless hate and losing friends. Reality check was at Antaragni when two of his very good friends, with whom he used to spend a lot of time, got completely drunk and said very mean things to him on his face, one even tried to beat him. In their intoxicated state, they expressed that it’s not just them, but everyone he thinks is their friend, doesn’t actually like him. The reality was hard to swallow.
Unfortunately, he didn’t get a slot with his wing and he moved to Hall 9. He was alone, he already started to feel insecure because no one liked him, he was gaming all day. Desperate to leave his one addiction, he moved to scrolling on deep internet forums.
Loneliness, the internet and a lot of factors happened, and he became so insecure. From existential crisis to depression to imposter syndrome, he started to have it all.
Alone uninterested in studies, he found his happiness in decorating his room, which was undoubtedly the best room in H9. ( room tour )
All he did was sit in his room to avoid social life, random sleeping hours and just go to the canteen to chat with people like it was normal & everything was fine, but he knew it was not. Something came and went, and it was getting difficult to understand his mind.
Esports society approached him with a new tournament, Lucknow Redbull Campus Clutch. He was going to play for IIT Kanpur. Gaming was an addiction, but it still was a safe life for him. He felt very confident & secured with his skills. After a week of practice and IIT Kanpur beat Immortal ( valorant’s best players ) opponents like nothing and won the tournament. He played so well that the opponents were asking who the hell is TaDark1… It was Tanishq’s IGN.
Without realizing it was midterms already, No way, this was the hardest sem, and he didn’t have a clue what was happening. He studied for a day and gave the exams. The courses were no joke this time. It was way more complicated than his imagination.
For him, Bio courses were a one-day thing, but CS647 ( Algo III ) and CS690 were Master/Ph.D. level courses and were too hard to understand even a bit.
Unleashing the Fire Within: Defying Doubts, Conquering Foes
During the midsem of one bio course, a tragedy happens… Tanishq was suspected of cheating… The professor doubted something and angrily grabbed Tanishq’s copy and asked him to sit in the front seat and give the test.
The test went well. He was already prepared for this exam.
After midsem, the professor called Tanishq in his office. He says, ” This is a severe matter. I have received four anonymous emails that you cheat in every course. I have already suspected, however you did well in the exam so, no issue from my side. Still. I will forward this to the mail to the bsbe committee . You go write us a clarification mail about why they are fake allegations and why would someone try to put them on you. If we feel you are innocent, we will not pass them to the SSAC and take any action about it.
If we feel you are innocent, we will not pass them to the SSAC and take any action about it.”
It was out of the blue. Tanishq was not given time to stabilize himself. Enemies gave no Mercy in his situation; they acted fast. A week was wasted writing clarification mail, but he was out.
While he was doubting himself, others feared his potential, he realized they were watching, time to give them a good show.
Completely focused on getting foreign research intern, he applied everywhere but got no reply. It was getting too late. At NTU he got rejected at first, but someone dropped their slot, and he got in :))
No time to celebrate. This sem was a nightmare. Only ten days were left for endsem, and his goal was to secure at least an 8.0 GPA. Even 5.2 SPI will do it, but passing those two courses was the main task. CS690 had all his weight in the project, which was to be done in a group of 3 people, he, his best friend Aman, and a friend who will betray them 🙁 to Leave everything to the BKC’s to handle.
They lived in the same room, taking turns working on the project. One slept on the bed while the other worked. Day night, no difference. Just this project was their target.
Endsems ended, no time to think, placements started in a week, 100% effort. He prepared his resume thoroughly and solved the complete striver SDE sheet.
On day 1 he got his placement at Rakuten, Tokyo, a company that checks his initial dream company requirements.
Overjoyed he was, he knew he had made it in the end so mehow. He gave all his energy to helping his friends and acquaintances in the upcoming days of placements, day and night, taking mocks and helping them in every possible way..
The result came in, and Tanshiq received an E in CS647. He had failed the course.
Degree completion in 7 sem, Retrospective minor in Algorithm, and his next sem Singapore intern,verything Gone with a single email. God teased him.
SPO argued either dropping the placement at Rakuten or dropping Singapore intern as the remaining course. Dropping the NTU Singapore internship was more sensible as going there would cause an extension of his degree.
He begged the Prof. to pass him, as he knew that it must have been short by 1-2%, but the prof replied, “University is not run over emotions. When you come to my age, this will not matter. Rules are rules.”
Tanishq was done,he thought he will handle it in the future and he went to Singapore.
In Singapore, he worked on his networking, creative and analytical skills, made infinite friends and acquaintances, met startup owners, alums, started small ventures, learnt new hobbies and received genuine appreciation & respect from the people—a truly life-changing experience.
But will his degree be extended? Nope, because he was from BSBE department, the best and most understanding department of IIT Kanpur, they approved him for a 9 credit waiver for his research, and he graduated with an 8 gpa, a minor in cse, and an unshakable confidence in himself.
Conclusion : Unveiling the Hero Within
This AWL is not about whether Tanishq was right or wrong, good or bad. Matter of fact is that the story’s takeaway has nothing to do with Tanishq. Tanishq is a mask, a name used to identify the protagonist of the story.
Your life is a movie, and you are its Tanishq, the hero of your life. No matter how losing the position you are in life is, it is only you, and only you, who can make it better. Your parents & friends will help, but only you can take it to the heights you desire. Take charge of your life.
Have you ever seen a movie where the protagonist sits all day? If not, then why arent you moving? A movie has roller coaster rides of emotions; your life needs that too. If you are not experiencing them, it means you need to test your limits more.
A good thing to learn from Tanishq is that he didn’t let his fortune be his fate. Wherever he could, he took control. After all, who else is better to trust than yourself? Plan everything, and act accordingly. Your determination, perseverance, and hunger will determine your fate.
Revamp your mindset. All those people around you on social media or in real life, they are them, and you are you. If you are stuck comparing yourself, you will lose your individuality. If you wanna compare, compare with those who are fighting wars in Ukraine, people in North Korea suffering endlessly. Do you still feel insecure? They would do anything to swap lives with you.
You may not be as good-looking as that Insta model, you may not be as intelligent as that CSE guy, you may not be as strong as that athlete, but Goddamn, you have something. You indeed have something. You are still alive, going through, fighting demons inside and out, and that means you have something. If God gave you so much, show him your dedication and discipline to improve, and he will provide you with more.
Remember, you are the author of your story, and no one will watch a boring story. GET UP; the day is not over yet. Take control. I know you can, and you will do it.
Connect with me over Linkedin 🙂
If you liked my story, you can make it your story (insta xD) and tag me as well 🙂
Personal Note
I understand a lot of the content is not suitable for this AWL, and loses the flow of the viewer; however, I wanted to pen down all of my significant stories from these 4 years so that, after years, I could remember and relive my university life. Happiness, anger, envy, pride, etc I was able to go through all of these emotions during these years, which truly built my character.
In the end, I can say I am proud of my decision to choose IIT Kanpur.
I want to deeply thank my family, my friends who supported me, my seniors and Aman Dixit, without him this BKC’s journey could never be so good.
A big thanks to Arjun Ramakrishnan Sir for his constant support throughout my BSBE endeavours and the BSBE student nominee to DUGC Siddhart Gupta for helping me get my degree.
However, my biggest appreciation will be for my haters, I know you are jealous but hear me out, I love you… I don’t want you to love me back, all I want is to continue betting against me, OH boy, I love it. I love every part of it 🙂
Written by- Tanishq Gupta
Edited by- Aditi Khandelia, Zehaan Naik, Aarish Khan
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