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In this edition of As We Leave 2026, Divit Shah, a Y22 from the Department of Computer Science and Engineering, looks back on four years that turned out to be far richer than he ever expected. He writes about friendships that grew into family, campus traditions that never got old, and the countless moments that made it all so special, a reminder of just how much a place can come to feel like home.
Disclaimer: The views presented below are the author’s own and are not in any manner representative of the views of Vox Populi as a body or IIT Kanpur in general. This is an informal account of the author’s experiences at IITK.
(Friendly warning: This is an account of my time here at IITK, and is more of a homage to IITK, a journal meant for my reminiscence and a diary entry expressing my feelings, all wrapped into one, rather than a well-written article. Since I wanted to recollect as much as I can, it is EXTREMELY LONG (I mean it). So long that it might take you multiple sittings to finish it. By all means, please feel free to scroll away, but if you do read, it’s a humble request to stick with my journey till the end. Also, a huge thanks to Moksh and Lavanya for keeping up with my procrastination till the last deadline. I hope you like reading it as much as I’ve loved writing it!)
Time is cruel. Less than 24 hours ago, I was having the time of my life in what was one of the best days I’ve ever lived, and now, here I am on the verge of shedding tears as I write this, in what is arguably one of the worst. If there’s one thing time teaches you, it is impermanence. Throughout my life, and the 4 unfathomably amazing years I’ve spent here at IITK, it has been the one aspect I’ve dreaded the most, as well as one due to which I’ve felt the most hopeful in times like the former. Today, as I write this piece, I am, to quote my 1st year self, (who would go on to write something shorter, but perhaps equally heartfelt on his Instagram after his 1st semester), “swept over by a multitude of thoughts and emotions”.
I do not know where to start, nor do I have any sort of plan on what I wish to write. Leaving Hall 1 gate, seeing the familiar sea (or should I say, pond) of faces I call my friends for probably the last time in my life, I felt unbearably numb. It was as if all life had been drained out of my soul. I did not shed any tears, nor did I acknowledge the weight of that moment. It did not even feel as if I was leaving campus for the last time. The day I left felt like another random day of going on vacation, just to come back and be with these lovely faces next semester. Except, there won’t be a next semester.
Fast forward 1 week – It’s 3:30 AM in the morning right now, I’m alone in my room on my laptop, writing anything and everything that comes to mind, because I simply did not care enough about the deadline and now it’s hanging above my head like a sword. I just had a text with a friend on what to write in our AWLs. She’s as equally lost as I am, and I really don’t know if any of us is going to make the final cut. But it felt really good to see a notification from “XY IITK [Dept.]” crop up, which gives me hope that perhaps, people won’t completely lose touch, after all. All this, however, brings me to a very sentimental disclosure, one which I’ve told some of my friends day after day: I dream. I dream about IITK every day. Every single day since I’ve come home, I’ve dreamt of something or the other from college. What makes it so interesting is that, more than half of the time, the places I dreamt of were unlike anything else I had ever seen, let alone at IITK. It was always the faces. The people I dreamt of, their voices, their smiles, their laughter – that was what made IITK home. It always felt cliche when I saw it on random reels, quotes or films that it was never the place, but the people, etc. etc. In fact, I like to think of myself as someone who has explored campus to the fullest, more than you could ever think of. I had been one who loved all inanimate objects on campus – be it the buildings, trees, roads, birds, etc. in all their beauty. How could I, then, be so affected by the people all of a sudden, and not remember the places at all? Turns out, I do. More than I’d ever like to admit. They’re now indelibly etched onto the fabric of my life and shall never be forgotten.
Coming back to my IITK journey, let’s start from the very beginning. I was an extremely naive, unaware and (I daresay, ugly) rather insecure child coming here. On my very 1st day, I faced a lot of hassle in all the administrative nitpicking that was dealt to us. That, coupled with a hugely unfamiliar environment and more than a thousand students (and their parents), from diverse backgrounds and cultures dumped into IITK, that great cesspool into which all the maggus and placement-aspirants of the nation are irresistibly drained (:p), gave me an existential crisis, making me question my decision of choosing this institute so far away from the comfortable bubble of my hometown and spiralling me into harrowing dread. I was forced to bid goodbye to my parents while holding back tears, having done the same with my brother and grandparents a few days prior. Days of orientation felt like weeks, and coming back to my wing in the evening, sleeping in rooms which felt cold and distant, with wingies who did not seem to share interests or inside jokes with me, all I could ever think of was how to go back to my old friends and family. However, that feeling would change much sooner than I expected.
You see, orientation, with its fair share of separation and anxiety, is also a chapter of new beginnings. And boy, did I fall for it. I met my very first friend, whom I had awkwardly texted even before reaching campus, Bansal (Devansh to the outside world), and he brought along with him a chubby guy named Sujal (who, on first glance, felt like Sexa from Chhichhore) just outside H13 on my 1st day at night. We celebrated Bansal’s bday too, just the 3 of us. Later that day, I met Shaurya, my best friend here, and Prem, one of his friends, who’d also go on to become one of my closest friends. Orientation felt livelier. The campus felt more cheerful and less gloomy. I sang in front of almost 600 students, once solo, and once in a group. The shy, timid, underconfident JEE kid was now slowly starting to step into the outside world.
1st sem was inarguably one of the best semesters I have spent here. It was marked by a plethora of experiences, some which are too much even for my 4th year self to think about. We got to explore campus life to the fullest – getting caught by SIS guards on at 4 AM on FB 6th floor in just the week after orientation, freshers’ night and its practices, seniors ka humse khulvana, random nightouts at OAT and Mama Mio, H4 winter carnival, New Years’ Day, bday celebrations, club activities, outings to Z Square, movie nights while lazing on student lounge and RM sofas, first sleepless nights in library while preparing for endsems, going to DOAA, Treasure Hunt, and so, so much more. It was also one of the busiest semesters here. From waking up at 7 in the morning for breakfast and PHY114 to finally getting free at 5 after labs, and then spending endless hours frolicking at night in acad area without a care in the world, we just made sure we lived life to the fullest.
It is imperative here, then, that I mention friendships. From being the most homesick guy on campus to someone who barely made time to video call home once a day, I was flanked by some great people with whom I didn’t have the slightest idea of time passing by. Wingies were suddenly fast friends, their rooms were places for all night-long hangouts, and going to the canteen, solving MTH problems or mixing weird chemicals in labs with people whom I hadn’t even known a few weeks ago became some of the favourite pastimes of mine. Mess kb jaana hai, B6 ke launde etc. became lifelines I couldn’t survive without. I was also (un)fortunate to have almost 50 people show up for my GPL, of which I have some of the most painful memories ever ; ) 2nd sem came by just as fast as the 1st ended, and it brought with it as much, if not crazier memories as its predecessor. We arrived to the much-awaited fest season with 2 fests lined up back to back. Even with our very first pronite washed away due to rain, Antaragni ‘23, with its first-time excitement and our newfound charm for an already buzzing campus transforming into a boiling pot of arts, culture and merrymaking, was enough to entice me for a lifetime. Techkriti followed, with the same energy and gusto as the former. I couldn’t have asked for a better first time with some incredible company around. 1st year ending also brought with it a series of wild emotions. I began to appreciate Hall 13 and the campus more and more. Bonds (and bones :p) were broken, old friends lost touch, Y22 batch as a whole got separated, only for renewed friendships to take their place.
3rd semester started with the orientation of Y23s, no doubt a million times more enjoyable than ours. As SGs and AMs, we got to experience the entire journey for the 2nd time, rewinding our clocks and making us delve deep into nostalgia from nearly a year ago. Going for wing visits, making new friends within fellow SGs, prepping for dances, and touring campus with Y23s invigorated me for a new sem like never before. It was also during this time that I began to observe and explore my campus surroundings more and more. Campus, and nature in itself, was now more of a living, breathing entity than simply a background. Slightly detached from the throng of people that was the Y22 batch, moving and co-existing together in the 1st year, I ventured out alone countless times for solo walks or cycling, early in the morning, late at nights, or even at sunset. Hall 3, with its sunlit quad visible directly from my room C334, its yellowing autumn trees and the occasional cool breeze on rainy nights were all part of my new abode. The deep golden hues of the sunset glittering amidst pink clouds and purple skies, viewed from the library fountain area, would go on to become one of my most photographed scenes. Acad area, with its lush green cover, chirping birds, buildings where I’d spend most of my evenings and ofcourse, rooftops where I’d spent a major chunk of my nights even in 1st year, was like a new home to me. The place, for which less than 2 years ago during JOSAA counselling, the first words I spoke were “IIT Kanpur toh kon jaay be” (Who would even go to a place such as IIT Kanpur), was finally accepted, and loved by me so much that it was impossible to imagine a reality without it.
Since I do not wish to publish a literal book with this AWL, I’m starting to realise I might have to be concise if I ever plan on completing it. 3rd sem also brought about the onset of festivals. I went for Rendezvous ’23 to IITD, perhaps my first visit to another institute, with my two best friends. The time spent there, with the perfect October weather – pleasant sunny mornings, chilly nights, and the incoming festive season, was truly magical. I also celebrated my first Janmashtami, Rakshabandhan, Navratri and Diwali on campus. Antaragni, even with only 2 days of me being here, and especially getting to spend it with the “Nilay tu yahan” group, was one of my core memories of 3rd sem. Gossip and trauma-dumping sessions with my roomies Prajeet and Samprit late into the night were also one of the highlights of 3rd sem and something I still miss dearly. Winter break also turned out to be eventful, with a visit to IITB’s Mood Indigo and catching up with my hometown friends leaving my heart fuller than ever.
4th sem started off slow and boring, with nothing much to do except stress about (and not prep for) the dreadful intern season looming around the corner. Techkriti ‘24, however, would turn out to be a much-needed break, and would also go on to become a pivotal turning point in my life. I also found an unexpected but lovely friendship in Aasmee, who, over the course of the next 2 years, would go on to become one of my closest friends and best sources of gossip here:) Me and some of my friends had our mandatory post endsem shenanigans in Hall 5, which was one of the craziest experiences of my time at IITK. I also went on a boys trip with my hometown friends to Mt. Abu, a refreshing summer sojourn which also distracted me temporarily from all the intern prep and anxiety. I somehow also ended up staying back for a short time on campus during the endsem break as a mentor for an FAC project. It was during this time that I met and befriended Kanika, who gradually became my closest friend and confidante here in my time at IITK. Nearly every memory, every incident, every situation from that point onward in my life has had her as an integral part of it. Suffice it to say that we’ve lived the remainder of our IITK journey together, and I shall forever be grateful for our friendship:) Even though I was preparing for intern season at that time, the summer of ‘24 turned out to be one of the best summers of my life. From grinding in RM in the evenings to going for long walks to DOAA and binge-watching whole series and movies at night, I never truly got to feel the anxiety that comes with intern season, rather I felt like a kid enjoying his vacations at his own, slow pace.
5th sem started with the intern season, where I was fortunate enough to get a decent intern on Day 1. It would be an injustice, however, to leave out the role played by my friends and family in this matter. From questionnaires to deadlines to OAs to interviews, my group stuck together through thick and thin. I would not be where I am today without them and shall remain indebted to them always. With the impending canon event that was a smaller social circle and a quieter life which comes as a complimentary gift with 3rd year, I naturally took a step back and shifted to a slower, lazier routine during my 5th and 6th semesters. I faced one of the biggest personal setbacks in my life in the beginning of 6th sem when I found out that my grandfather had just passed away on my birthday. I was heartbroken and cried a lot, considering how he was my only bestfriend since childhood. Right from when I was a toddler, he had taken care of, and raised me and my brother in such a way that not a day would pass by when we would not get to know of his love for us. He was always the proudest person in the room when talking about me or my achievements, and it was one of his biggest dreams to see me at my convocation. Even sadder was the fact that I knew that my little brother, who seldom expresses his emotions, and the entire family in general, would be perhaps even more heartbroken than I am, and I wasn’t there with them when the news broke out. However, I made a resolve then and there, to spend more time with my family, even if it meant taking a few days off at times. I was lucky indeed to have done the same during the previous Diwali, when I surprised my grandparents for 4 days by flying in unexpectedly. I wish to fly in more often whenever possible.
My AWL would remain incomplete here if I leave out Quiz Club IITK, which would then become one of the places closest to my heart during my time here. As coordinator, I had the privilege to interact and befriend a wonderful set of juniors, whom I am still in touch with and adore greatly, and two lovely fellow coordinators, who (much more than me) ensured that the club returned to its full former glory. We spent lots of time together, in the club, during quizzes, setsungs, competitions, etc. and outside of it, in bulla sessions, at each other’s rooms, or even online. Some of the best moments we’ve spent together were at the Inter-IITs and Nihilanths, at IIM Calcutta, IIT Patna, IIM Lucknow and lastly IIT Kanpur. Living and moving together as a contingent during such external meets strengthened our bond even further. The end-tenure party was when I truly felt as if we’d built something truly special, not just as a club, but as a community, as a family. Today, even after leaving IITK, the most active group chat I share is not with my own batchmates, but my juniors. We can discuss literally any and every topic under the sun with each other and not get bored. Perhaps I’ve only treated them as juniors while at college and never really told them before, but they’re truly the closest set of friends I’ve found here at IITK, and I regret not spending more time with them when I could. I’ll really miss them, and I (selfishly) hope they do so too.
Towards the end of 3rd year, to be leaving Hall 3 and my friends for such a long time left a lasting impact on me. So much so, that after our ritual post endsem campus-run and crying for half an hour with one of my friends, I went to the rooftops of Hall 3 at night alone before packing my bags and gazed into the night, something which I had done on a few occasions before. I came here only on nights when I felt extremely intense emotion, and this was a deeply profound experience for me. I have felt connected to myself and my emotions the strongest there, and it gave me a sense of peace and stability which no other experience has. I even wrote my first, and only diary entry on that day.
Summer of ‘25 was marked by my internship in Gurgaon, a significant phase which I have bittersweet memories of. First off, I wasn’t happy with Gurgaon as a place, its weather and the fact that I had to stay away from all my friends doing nothing but corporate slogging all day. However, it also gave me new friendships, and some unexpectedly wonderful firsts of living my own life as an independent individual, which I have some unforgettable memories of. At the end of my internship, I was indeed upset about leaving my peers, mentors and the moments which were spent there. However, this was nothing compared to the shocker I had to face when I got back home, and was offered a PPO. I was on a trip with my family at that time, and was not expecting anything at all. After careful consideration and deliberations with friends, seniors and family members, I made one of the toughest decisions of my life, which was to withdraw my offer and sit for placements instead, due to personal reasons. Because I do not have any pleasant memories of the placement season, I shall be leaving the stress of OAs, DSA prep, puzzles, onsite interviews, endless grinding and anxiety aside, to make way for Antaragni ‘25.
This was to come off as the caption of an Insta post, but Mr. Master Procrastinator couldn’t write it in time, so here it is. It was the last time the campus truly felt alive to me. I’ve said this to my friends often, and I’ll say it here again: Antaragni is the only one time, with the library during endsems being a close second, when you could find the entire campus coming together and thriving as one whole close-knit community. Events ground after pronites would be the one thing I looked forward to the most throughout the year, for it meant the only time when you could interact and chat with the batch in its entirety.
Side-glances, hi-hellos or head-nods during the whole year would change to full-fledged conversations and long walks during Antaragni. From dawn to dusk to dawn, Antaragni had something to offer to everyone. The campus transformed from a space for studying to a space for revelry, euphoria and frivolity. Mornings were misty, calm and peaceful, and the nights were equally wild and crazy. Students from across India, in their fancy costumes and cute little props dotted the scene. Performances charmed audiences, in classrooms as well as blistering heat. The air was filled with sounds of a stereo pumping out loud beats for dance practice. OAT was a haven for groups of boys and girls jamming to the tunes of a guitar till 5 in the morning. Pretty little decorations, lanterns and graffiti adorned the alleyways. Everywhere you saw was a myriad of colors, lights and sounds. People danced till their legs gave way and screamed till their lungs burned out. The atmosphere was electric, but at the same time, late nights carried in them an air of finality. Me and my friends slept as little as possible, spent the day cooking, watching events and roaming around campus, and the nights hanging out in Events Ground, singing, dancing, playing games and talking about life, up until sunrise every day. It was at that time when I realised that these nights would make my future self write in my AWL: “I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them”. Somehow, at that moment, I knew it, and my friends knew it too.
I think I’m slowly starting to accept the fact that I’ve left those good old days, but I’d be lying to myself if I said that any of the above semesters even comes close to the 8th. Contrary to what would transpire later, I arrived on campus to what was probably one of the worst fights I’ve ever seen my friend group have, and childish as it may seem, I was naturally forced to pick sides, which led me to spend about 1.5 months in a constant state of guilt, worry, depression and regret. I didn’t confess this to anyone previously, but there was always a haunting feeling in the back of my mind of what would happen and go wrong if I wasn’t able to get my people back together in time. As fate would have it though, eventually (after another petty quarrel, lol) all of us got back, and when we did, we did so better than ever before. Earlier, I’d always pictured myself leaving IITK torn between different sets of people, never really getting the kind of ending I’d dreamt of. Now, when I look back, I couldn’t be more grateful of the fact that when it was actually time to leave, I was indeed torn, but not because of having to choose between whom to say goodbye and whom not to, but because I just couldn’t completely let go of anyone at all.
To think of it, I’ve lived a small, complete life within the short span of ~150 days I had here in the final semester. I’d die happy and content if this were to be real, too. I went on a boys trip to Mussoorie at the start of the sem, technically my first trip at IITK. Singing at the top of your lungs with your friends under a small shelter overlooking city lights fills you up with such immense joy that it cannot be described in words. Mountains truly do heal something in you. I also planned a surprise for another friend there. Again went to Lucknow for a friend’s family function upon coming back. Then came the most awaited Goa trip with my H13 wingies in the midsem break. I don’t think there’s been any other trip I’ve had so much fun on, ever. To be in Goa with your buddies, riding scootys at 60 while feeling the wind blow in your face makes you realise you’re never gonna be this young and carefree again. Those were some of the most unforgettable days of my time at IITK. I’d also met my younger brother there at BITS Goa, albeit only for less than half a day. Leaving him after that was the most homesick and bitter I’ve felt till date. Midsem break ended, and we stepped back on campus to the pleasant evenings which heralded the beginning of the end of our time here. Photoshoots and batch videos came around the corner, and in no time the whole batch was in their coats and shorts, trying to make the most of whatever little time they had left here, capturing as many memories as they could via reels, films, edits etc. before life took them all on different paths. Techkriti’26 was an absolute blast, with a quick shower during the pronites being the cherry on top. It was as if the campus was bidding farewell to its beloved people by giving them a sendoff in the most magical way possible. My family visited me here for 3-4 days in the start of April, and I put in blood, sweat and tears, spending weeks of sleepless nights to get my Farewell Quiz ready before that, so I could conduct it as a quizmaster while they were here, and it was all worth it. My parents’ support and the turnout during the quiz made it one of the most rewarding experiences I’ve had here. I showed my family around campus, feeling like a proud kid who wanted them to give them a window into his life at IITK for the past 4 years. Baapu party, Dance Extravaganza, Dept. Farewells, etc. followed, and it again felt like the whole batch was indeed starting to move collectively as a flock, together, like it did during the 1st year. To have the entire Y22 practicing their choreos at OAT as if they were preparing for freshers’ night, and dressing up cutely for farewells, photoshoots and dinners with the same people they once were a part of orientation with, it felt as if life was truly coming full circle, and I was not prepared for it even in the slightest. On some hot summer nights in my room, laying alone in my bed, reality would sometimes hit me like a ton of bricks. I would stay up, sleepless, despondent about how the familiar doors we once used to knock on for reckless canteen breaks in the dead of the night would turn into almost strangers, or responsible adults you’d discuss marriage, career or family with. Life was surely going to change, and us kids were definitely not ready to accept this transition.
Throughout 8th sem, (and perhaps starting much earlier, in 3rd year itself), my days were filled with experiences close to my heart which I’ll sorely miss. Hopping across narrow lanes for street food with Khushi and Shikhar, some amazing dates at cosy cafes around town, countless movie and dinner plans with Riya, Shaurya and Kanika, trips to Z Square for bowling, movie nights with Nilay and Mohit, mandatory dinners at H4 canteen (where I also had my last meal at IITK), late-night sessions and canteen hangouts with BTop, staying up till the morning and playing TT with Ankit and Shaurya, having to listen to Manavjeet’s rr (and rare comebacks) on almost every meetup, late-night craving runs to Subway, Mama-Mio and DOAA, crazy outings, parties and dance practices with Bhand Bkl, slow and quiet strolls across acad area in the nights, quizzes, setsungs and bulla sessions with QC people, umpteen photos of sunsets, trees, roads, etc., and people & places I loved crammed in my phone’s gallery; all of these formed an integral part of my journey as the clock of the final countdown kept ticking at the back of my head. Someday when I’ll be retelling stories of my time here to my children or grand-children, these are the things I’ll miss the most, which also reminds me of a line very close to my heart: “Yaadein mithai ki dibbe ki tarah hoti hai, ek baar khula, toh sirf ek tukda nahi kha paoge.”
Endsems (which did not seem like it) had me running around in the library and dilly-dallying across campus all day, as if reaching out to it with wide arms, hugging it with all my might, not willing to give up on this beautiful place which had been our home for 4 years. The time after endsems was packed to the brim with a host of events for the graduating batch, with the Baaraat, Echoes of Memories and Abhinandan being some of the last few times our happy smiling faces would be seen as one. Abhinandan would also bring about with itself tearful goodbyes and a truckload of nostalgia for most, what with the testimonials and photos we were supposed to upload for our yearbook making our hearts heavier. Gradually, people started to leave, and the whole campus was bathed in a dull glow, with the somber mood beginning to reflect on people’s faces, as smiles began to vanish and be replaced by tears of nostalgia, reminiscence and the pain of longing. I spent my last 2-3 days on campus with the people closest to my heart, and I’ve lost track of the number of times I cried throughout the fateful night before it was time for me to leave. I visited CCD and Hall 4 canteen with Kanika the day before, took my last photos of the library area, played games and talked about life in RM, sang songs in H6, went to OAT and tied locks with our names on them in front of Hockey Ground, and finally came back to H1, where it was time for me to finally bid adieu to the wonderful life I had here, which brings me back to the start of this AWL.
Time is cruel. It tests you, breaks you, teaches you and invariably changes you. If I had to sum up my learnings here at IITK, it wouldn’t be the classroom lectures, or the internship advice, or textbook definitions I’ve studied here. It’s also the reason why I’ve deliberately left those out of this piece here. However, if there is one thing I’m certain about, it’s that I’ve grown inexplicably, as a person, over the course of the 4 years I’ve spent here. Observing and getting to interact with people from various walks of life, be it a sweeper, an athlete, a professor, a security guard or even a small child has to be one of the biggest blessings IITK could give you. Engaging in intellectual and philosophical discourse with your peers and other members of the campus community, forming and understanding people’s opinions, learning about various cultures, learning to empathize with strangers, having strong morals and ethics, knowing the difference between right and wrong and fighting for what’s right, and knowing more about the world outside of your home in general, teaches you so much about patience, courage, humility and kindness, which is far out of scope of any book, course or classroom. The people, situations and your experiences at IITK shape your character and personality way more than any JEE rank could. It is with this (and intense personal regrets of mine for not doing so more) that I urge the people reading this to go out and explore the world for themselves. Know more about everything and everyone you can. Be aware of what is going on around you. Talk to people. Listen to what they have to say. Help them out if you can. Stay connected with your batchmates and old acquaintances. Drop a text or call here and there. Do not run behind success or money. Make time for friends and family as much as you can. Take a stand against wrongdoing and injustice. Love nature, love your surroundings and love the people around you as your own. Go out and enjoy, relax a bit. Take your own sweet time, and make the most of whatever you have left, both at IITK and in your life. Most importantly, do not forget to live. Write your own story the way you want to, because in the end, we all become stories.
Thus, I think it’s time for me here, to close off the most heartfelt memoir of mine and with the heaviest of hearts, bid a poignant farewell to my IITK journey once and for all. The little kid in me, the shy and innocent Dattu (as my family calls me) could never have even dreamt of living such a life as I’ve done here, and I’m extremely grateful to say that I’ve made him so, so proud.
I’d like to end with a few lines from a song very close to me, my father and my brother:
Aane wala pal, jaane wala hai
Aane wala pal, jaane wala hai
Ho sake toh isme, zindagi bita do
Pal jo yeh jaane wala hai…..
Goodbye, and thank you, IITK. You’ll always be remembered, forever.
Written by: Divit Shah
Edited by: Moksh Dalal, Lavanya Srivastava
