*yawns for a little too long*

The sun shines on my face, signalling the end of my beauty sleep. It’s really hard being a dog here, you know. The constant lying around and chilling makes your bones a little lazy, so I have to stretch a bit to get back into form.

Anyway, it’s six in the morning. I shake off the sleep, walk over to the DOAA canteen(rip :`( ), and perfect my signature move: stare longingly with my cute eyes at some overworked, sleep-deprived human questioning their life choices over a cup of tea. Works like a charm. A lot of them have been showing up lately, midsems must be close

After grabbing that hard-earned quick bite, I head to the LHC to begin my daily duties. You may ask, what duties does a campus dog possibly have so early in the morning?

Simple. Flaunt my joblessness and life of leisure to the poor kids dragging themselves in for classes they already regret signing up for. I absolutely love the way they look at me while I am quietly chilling in front of their lecture halls, while they rush in with baggy eyes and no breakfasts, already late.

But alas, Kanpur summers aren’t kind to anyone. The heat spares neither the sleep-deprived nor the supremely relaxed. So, I must abandon my morning foyer performance and continue my chilling in the classrooms, with the AC helping me stay alive.

Now you must be wondering, how do I enter a classroom after the lecture has already started, and there’s no one to push the door open?

Well, there’s always that one group of kids who will be late, no matter when the class begins. What amazes me is how it’s always the same faces. Not one or two, it’s a whole squad. These kids need a course on punctuality. But hey, who am I to judge? I’m just grateful they open the door at the perfect moment for me to stroll in.

Every time I enter, I’m met with wide, confused eyes, as if they’ve never seen a handsome four legged being before. Some imbeciles even dare to pet me, call me cute, and take my pictures. How dare you? I’ve been on this campus before you knew what JEE was. I’ve seen more batches graduate than your department has managed alumni meetups. I am the senior of the senior you think is some big shot (trust me, they’re not). Did it not occur to you, even once, to hesitate before treating me like a child? So disrespectful. Please, learn to respect the elderly.

But, as much as I hate it, I must admit,  I also kinda enjoy the attention. Which is exactly why I cannot stand that one person hogging the spotlight:

The professor.

Always stealing the show with their convoluted words that these kids barely understand. Honestly, rude. Very rude. 

And if that wasn’t enough, three guys march in with those goddamn boxes of menace, stealing even the professor’s thunder. Around here, those boxes matter more to the kids than the lecture itself –  attendance over attention, every time. The way they leap over each other to snatch those biometric machines is insane and, embarrassingly, it makes me a little jealous. 

Anyways, I am more mature than that, I know their time is temporary and only in the classroom. I get the attention 24/7. So I let the professor and the thing have their moment. 

Apart from attempting to pay attention to the lecture(that too is a minority), these kids like to indulge in a lot of different stuff. Some gossip, which I listen VERY carefully to. Why? Well, what do you think we dogs talk about amongst ourselves? Our lives aren’t nearly as interesting as some of the drama that goes around in the lives of these innocent looking kids. Every night all us dogs gather together at OAT to collect all the gossip we hear throughout the day, while demanding food from the couples attempting to enjoy their pizzas without giving us an offering first. Easily the best part of my day.

Ofcourse, there are the ones that find the classroom chairs more comfortable than their beds to sleep in. Then there are the vloggers. I  really have no idea about who watches those clips of a boring classroom, but I am willing to paint them in a good light if they give me some screen time.

Enough yapping for now, the bell is ringing, it’s time for me to end my nap and go around looking for pets and treats, But, don’t worry, if you have any concerns, if you need someone to talk to, or are just offering free food, feel free to contact me! It’s not that hard honestly, just stand near mama mio with a plate of chicken momos and I will be summoned. 

Goodbye!

~ your local dog