As We Leave… #6

Miss Komal Raj is an undergraduate student in the Chemical Engineering Department from the Y15 batch. She will be joining HSBC, Bangalore as a Risk Analyst. Dive deep and come out sweet into the wisdom that follows…

Disclaimer :- The views presented below are the author’s own and are not in any manner representative of the views of Vox Populi as a body or IIT Kanpur in general. This is an informal account of the author’s experiences at IIT K.

It is 11 am on a hot, lazy Sunday. A very typical day with nothing special about it and yet when I sit here with a pen in hand, trying to retrospectively gaze over the last four years that has been, it doesn’t feel so ordinary anymore. With only a couple of days left before we bid adieu, it is tempting as well as nostalgic to try and put in a nutshell the entirety of the time spent here. It would be nice if I could just pack up everything I’ve learned, put it in my trolley and carry it to the future saying, “THIS was my time at IIT Kanpur!”

‘As we leave’……… It has got a melancholic ring to it, hasn’t it? But given this opportunity, I would try to do it justice. What follows is an unadulterated narrative of my experiences, realizations, successes and more importantly failures that have culminated into the girl in front of you. This is the other side of the reel; A story about perseverance, beliefs, and struggles beneath all the shimmer and rose beds. A story of what it takes to be ‘somebody’ in a place teeming with over-achieving and competitive folks. Life is not a Disney fairytale people, and this Cinderella has a thing or two to say about it.

It started one fine morning with me entering this green campus situated in a not-so-green city. I stepped in here with the same question that more than half the junta has, “Why did it have to be Kanpur and not Bombay or Delhi!” Looking back, I am glad it turned out this way. After all, it is just one big fat chapter of the book which will eventually be driving the entire plot of my life. Like any other 17-year-old fresh out of their sheltered cocoon, I was unsure about what to do with my time. This new-found freedom in a place that had such diversified, lucrative alternatives to explore and learn from. As a river splits into its distributaries, I channeled myself to find and explore my interests as exhaustively as I could. I wouldn’t say it was enough, but each one of it came with relevant life lessons of its own.

Being a clueless kid brimmed up with enthusiasm, I spent my first year participating in fests like Antaragni and almost every hall activity, from Takneek to Spectrum and most importantly Galaxy. During which, I realized my calling for dance and wanted to pursue it for the next four years. Being a part of the institute’s dance team and representing it on a national level was the highlight of my first year. It felt good to be one among a handful of people curated from a batch of over 800 students. The pressure was high, especially since we were supposed to compete against the best of the best pan India. Tour de force’s performance taught me tenacity, grueling hard work (which up to that point only meant studying for 6 hours straight!), investment of time (which by the way we didn’t have a lot of, to begin with) and putting efforts in the right place. And yes, we did make it to the finals which were an achievement in itself. Having given numerous performances in Antaragni, Galaxy and DE has anchored dance as a mode of expression for me, and this is one talent I humbly would like to thank IITK.

My tryst with fest management began in my second year when I joined Ritambhara as Secretary went on to work in the event in my pre-final year too. Third-year gave me #iamfashion, a term which became synonymous with Komal. The term became my life and Ritambhara my dream. Making it bigger and better than ever was the one thing that was constantly on my mind. We concocted a thousand and one ideas; always brainstorming, innovating and improving to make the event more interesting and memorable. It was about making magic happen, and our efforts bore fruit when we got Miss Serbia, in our judge panel. She was the first ever supermodel at Ritambhara, making it the most successful flagship event that year. 

My next stop was working with Udghosh. My experience and achievements resulted in me working with Public Relations, Udghosh ‘18 in my final year. Udghosh gave me a platform to showcase myself as a leader who is capable of leading initiatives and organizing a variety of activities. I learned how to coordinate, manage, interact and work together as a team aimed at achieving a common objective.

Things were smooth, but then life happened.

Placements were not a priority for me since I always planned on pursuing a dual-degree. Placement tests had just started, and people had been diligently preparing for it. I remember it was Oct the 6th, 2018,  the third night of Udghosh when Amit Mishra was supposed to perform. It was on that particular night that I got a mail stating that my dual-degree application had been rejected. With shaking legs and swollen eyes, I was standing stunned on the pronite stage, thinking about all the permutations that had led to this point, unsure of what the future had in store for me. I had spent a lot of time on the OAT rooftop, looking over at the pronite stage imagining myself standing on it and feeling proud. All of which seemed fleeting in that moment. As a voice buzzed, ”Calling Komal !” (It was my walkie talkie), I snapped back to reality!

And you know what….

“There’s no crying in baseball” – Jimmy Dugan

The show must go on! And it did! Amit Mishra’s concert went on to be a huge success. Then with less than 1.5 months left for the placements, I got myself registered for placements and started prepping for it. In the end, I managed to fetch job offers from HSBC, Citi, and Vedanta on the same day which seemed like a happy ending to this nightmare.

Apart from the all of this, I have had stints with Vox Populi, Student-Mentorship Programme and International Relations IITK. The key takeaways from all of these escapades is the human quotient. The upside of such diverse involvement is that I was blessed with the companionship of many brilliant individuals who have helped me grow as a person and have been there through thick or thin. I can not stress enough on how important it is to have good, positive, vibrant and chomu people in your life. When I think about it, all these assignments, labs, projects, quizzes, end and mid sems, dance, fests, placements would have just been meaningless had I not met the people that I did. Today, I am what I am not through my efforts alone but the constant guidance and support of these individuals. Through this, I’d gladly express my gratitude for them. Arigatou!

These four years have been a collection of beautiful moments. As they say, it is about the journey, not the endings.These four years have taught me many lessons. I’ve seen both apex of success and simultaneously the depths of pitfalls of failure. And Oh! How sweet the success tastes right after the failure. It has taught me to be gentle with good people and how to face robust ones. Most significantly, it has enabled me to rediscover myself.

There are always a bazillion people doubting you, who try to drag you down to the point that your conscience takes a hit and your confidence wavers, and my case was no different. Not many believed I could do the things I did, but my credentials and successes are a testament to the fact how blatantly wrong they were. It was never about disproving them though, rather about proving myself..And that I did. The two strongest weapons which I feel get really important are- One, your self-belief, which should be as tough as a thick cemented wall and Second, some people around you who put in positivity within you. I feel lucky to say at this point that I was in a way equipped with both of these weapons which have helped me sail this tough yet adventurous ocean through. One thing I salvaged from all of this is you cant let the noise of others’ opinion drown out your inner voice. And, most importantly, you have to trust yourself over everyone else and have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. I’m thankful for my struggle because without it I wouldn’t have stumbled across my strength.

As a soon-to-be alumni of this revered place, a piece of advice for those who are bound to follow later.

Participate in as many events as possible even if you don’t know the ABC’s of it. Because that’s how you learn new things, meet new people and have fun. Also, don’t just have academic goals or career-oriented goals. Don’t be serious, be sincere. What’s the point if you don’t have fun? Make memories that last forever. You don’t need a lot of people, just a handful and if they are the right fit, you are set for life. There is a lot of competition here, and you are supposed to do your best but understand that failures aren’t there to stop you, they are there for your improvement so that the next time you face that problem, you can successfully counter it. Most importantly, walk out with zero regrets. You are here for a good and meaningful time, and the onus of making it happen is on you.

Also, it is okay to not have a plan right off the bat. It is okay to be confused. It is okay not to know what you want. Life is not an essay that has a conclusion; it is a series of experiments with people, opportunities and emotions. Things pan out eventually. It’s about patience and belief in yourself even when everyone else seems to think “you can’t.” The future isn’t some fast-speed train that’s getting impatient for its next stop.

Take it from someone who was as clueless as one could be, underestimated by everyone, struggling with academics, health issues, emotional distress and life in general. Moreover, confused between masters or a corporate job to the point of registering for placements with just 45 days to go. BUT today, I am a confident, successful woman who has been an integral part of two successful college fests, numerous societies, has done two internships, a couple of academic projects and has offers from 3 multinational firms. As they say, take the sourest lemon life has to offer and turn it into something resembling a lemonade!

We’ve emerged as the smartest we’ve ever been — the most engaged; The most creative, And of course, the most sleep-deprived XD. So gauge your college life beautifully, however not as some literal portrait to be sketched, studied, and thoroughly captioned. See it as a mosaic of becoming who you want to be.

From Komal Raj to Komaliya to #iamfashion to KR to the decently talked about “ goa girls XD,” IITK has been one hell of a journey.

Adios IITK.

Signing off,

Komal Raj– Batch of 2019

P.S. IITK should start giving out bags saying “IITians today, Humans tomorrow.” It would really help XD.

Edited by Ayush Agarwal