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In this 39th edition of As We Leave, Neetu Singh, a member of the first Ph.D. batch in Cognitive Science, shares her extraordinary journey through IIT Kanpur. From facing intense isolation and mental health challenges to finding purpose through the Adventure Sports Club and the Counselling Service, she reflects on how IITK became a place of personal growth. Her path took a difficult turn with a cancer diagnosis that led to a long medical leave—but with the unwavering support of friends, faculty, and the institute, she made a strong comeback. Eventually accepting an MSR degree instead of a Ph.D., Neetu’s story is one of resilience, healing, and deep gratitude. She reminds us that IITK is not just an academic institute but a community that carries you through both struggle and recovery.
Disclaimer:- The views presented below are the author’s own and are not in any manner representative of the views of Vox Populi as a body or IIT Kanpur in general. This is an informal account of the author’s experiences at IITK.
I came to IIT Kanpur not with a suitcase full of dreams, but simply with curiosity — just to understand how the PhD interview process works. So that in future if I want to do Ph.D it may help. My plan was to apply seriously in 2018, not 2017. But sometimes life doesn’t wait for our plans. To my surprise, I was selected among the top five candidates in my department, and also became the first batch of cognitive science department of IIT Kanpur, being the first female too.(Thoda filmy lag raha haina.. like koi record bana diya ho….. read the next Pages than)
I hadn’t mentally prepared for this. Pursuing a PhD wasn’t something I was ready for, emotionally or logistically. But with the encouragement of professors from my past and a few close friends, I took the leap — and joined IIT Kanpur.
The First Year: Lost and Alone
The first year was overwhelming. The academic atmosphere, the social environment, the silence — it all felt alien. Most students were either deeply focused on their studies, introverted to the point of detachment, or simply living in a world I didn’t feel part of. It wasn’t like any place I had experienced before.
There were nights I cried endlessly, wondering what I was doing there. I felt like an outsider.
But slowly, cracks of light appeared. My wingmates and batchmates became my emotional lifeline — Anurag, Irfan, Vivek, Shaukat Ali, Osama, Pranjul, Piya, Anjali, Debaparna, Ekta, Kanu, Priyanshi, Munmun, Divita. These names aren’t just names; they’re anchors. They stood by me, offered support, shared laughter, and helped me hold on. Life in GH-1 (Girls’ Hostel-1) and IITK started to feel less lonely because of them. A major role played by E-Top wingmates. I never new that in future “Pranjul” will be my silent healer from far. This girl exactly know what to talk? When to talk? And how to talk to the person she is talking.. she know exactly what to respond. A good listener and my one of the favourite human being from IITK for multiple reasons.
Second year with amazing juniors and start of a family@adventuresportsclub:
And here comes the second year full of enthusiastic juniors came into the campus in our department in MSR. All of them were so amazing and outstanding in their own field. Among them Aditi and Komal make me feel like home and becomes sisters to me, these two little kiddos were my one call away person in every situation. Harish, a MSR student helped me a lot in academics understanding wherever I stuck. The life with them was beautiful.
Being a sports person, it was tough for me to stay away from sports for long and I decided to join something so that I feel alive, I joined The adventure sports club for conditioning and it changes everything. Since day one , I wanted to find my tribe which I was missing badly in IITK. People with similar lifestyle and mindset, then I found in Adventure sports club. I always inspired myself by looking at the club coordinators Rahul, Manish, Arun , Mahesh ji,Lavish, Kewal ji, Neelakshi, Akhilesh and many more. I was associated with athletics team this time.. The team was so amazing that I always waited for evening session with them. I meet Bala and Priyanka who was a thrower in the team at that time, and Seema ma’am(staff at PE section now) and it connects like forever.
A Year of Service and Silent Impact: My Time with IITK Counselling Services
In March 2019, as I began the initial third year of my PhD journey, I joined the Counselling Services team at IIT Kanpur. My intention was simple: to support people around me in whatever small way I could. I’ve always believed in the power of human connection — of just being present, listening without judgment, and offering a safe space for others to express themselves.
Since childhood, I’ve naturally been a good listener and a social person. I knew that if I could help even one person feel heard, feel less alone, that would be enough for me.
What I didn’t anticipate was the quiet but deep impact this decision would have. Over time, I unknowingly became a confidante for several students — at least six or seven — who were battling severe depression and openly spoke about ending their lives. I never shared these stories with anyone at the time, because I wasn’t sure whom to trust with something so delicate. But today, I feel deeply grateful that those same students are now thriving — doing well in life, reaching out to me with updates on their careers, their growth, their happiness.
That quiet joy — of knowing someone chose life, and that I may have played a small part in it — is one of the most meaningful experiences of my time at IIT Kanpur.
Our Y19 PG Counselling Team consisted of nine dedicated individuals: Kshitij, Sangha, Mandeep, Sahil, Yogi, Sachin, Shivang, Shubham, and myself. The entire year revolved around our shared mission to support the incoming batch of postgraduates. We planned and organized events, helped newcomers adjust, and tried to make the campus a more welcoming space.
Among all the memories I made at IIT Kanpur, this year stands out. The Y19 PG batch, especially the girls, hold a special place in my heart. I’m still in touch with most of them, and I’m proud to say that a few of them have become like family to me. They were not just students I supported — they became companions in a journey of mutual growth. Some of the names I can recall now is Damini, Diksha, Geetanjali, Karishma, Mansha, Pratyasha, Preeti, Sakshi, Pritha, Rashmi, Shreya Sharma, Surabhi, Amita, Ananya.. and many more.
Looking back, that chapter of service and silent impact has been one of the most fulfilling parts of my life at IITK.
At the end of 2019. Just as I was beginning to find my footing, I received a call from home my father-in-law was critically ill. I dropped everything and returned to Delhi. I had planned a trek around that time — early October — but cancelled it, sensing that my presence was more needed at home.
What I thought would be a short trip turned into four to five months away from campus. I was physically away from IIT Kanpur, but mentally even farther. It felt like my academic journey had paused — or perhaps derailed.
The Unseen Storm: Life After March 2020
I returned to campus in late January 2020, hoping to resume my academic journey after a long break. But within weeks, the world turned upside down. In March 2020, as COVID-19 tightened its grip, the campus was abruptly shut down. I left for Dehradun with just a single pair of clothes — thinking I’d return soon. But the very next day, we received an official message: the campus was closing immediately, and everyone had to vacate.
At the time, none of us realized how devastating the pandemic would become. I didn’t carry my laptop or essential belongings, assuming it was a short break. As a result, I was unable to do much academically during those initial months.
Thankfully, people around me stepped up. Friends and staff from my hostel, especially Jaya Ma’am, were incredibly supportive. Despite everything, she never burdened me with any hostel-related work, knowing I was unwell. Her kindness during those uncertain times meant a lot.
But if there is one person I remain deeply grateful to, it is Deepti. From March 2020 to August 2023, while I remained in Dehradun, she quietly took on every responsibility related to my hostel room. From sending parcels to packing, cleaning, and ensuring my space remained livable — she handled it all. At a place like IIT Kanpur, where most people are too busy with their labs and academic work to spare even five minutes, Deepti made time for me — consistently and selflessly. She made sure my room didn’t get dusty or unusable, cleaning it every month so that whenever I returned, I could walk in comfortably. That takes time, effort, and heart. I truly feel blessed to have her in my life.
A New Life, A Silent Battle
In July 2020,I had severe bleeding in my body, which takes me to ICU for three days. My health started deteriorating. Everyone thought including doctors it’s because of my pregnancy but, it remain unnoticed and misdiagnosed for next 17 months up to January 2022.
In October 2020, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. That moment changed my life completely — mentally, physically, and emotionally — but in the most positive way possible. However, alongside the joy of motherhood, I began experiencing health issues. Something wasn’t right. Doctors couldn’t diagnose it, and the symptoms kept slowly worsening.
In November 2021, when my daughter turned one, I visited campus briefly to empty my room and collect some belongings. It was a happy trip — full of laughter and warmth. Many friends and acquaintances came to see us. They complimented me, saying I looked so thin after delivery. I smiled and accepted those words as the result of my discipline and regular exercise.
But deep down, that weight loss wasn’t a sign of health. It was the first warning — one that I, and even my doctors, failed to recognize.
And this is where the next chapter of my life began — a chapter that changed everything for me.
Chapter: Diagnosis — A Life Rewritten
What started as vague discomfort — fatigue, unexplained pain, unusual weight loss — slowly grew into something I could no longer ignore. From late 2021 onward, I went through a cycle of blood tests, scans, and second opinions. Still, no one could give me a definite answer.
Meanwhile, I was juggling motherhood, long-distance academics, and my own deteriorating health. The physical exhaustion became overwhelming. But the emotional burden — the not knowing, the uncertainty — was worse.
My husband playes an important role in all the treatment related part and everything. To my surprise: “Jo banda raat me jag nahi sakta tha after 11 Pm and need atleast 7-8 hours of sleep. Vo mostly mujhe jaga ho dikha around me in hospital stay. I don’t remember anyday in 3-4 years of my whole health issue whenever he is not relaxing my feet, by massaging.(as it pains a lot).
And then, after months of searching and silent suffering, the truth finally arrived. I was diagnosed with cancer. I still remember when my family was called in Dehradun, as I said I am not feeling I could survive so please call everyone.
And I said, “please mere friends , juniors sabko bula lena, agar mujhe kuch ho jaaye to, because they are my family who helped me happily survive this life, aur me unhe bht pyar karti hu, aur vo log bhi. I would love to see how many will come to see me last time….(crying).😭😭😭”
Even before my correct diagnosis report came, he told me, “Neetu, sun. tu bas positive rehna, and focus of only health and treatment. Baaki sab me kar lunga, chahe ghar bechna pade. I’m there.” (although I smiled when he said this, kyuki aisi deep baatein vo kabhi bolta nahi… introvert jo hai..)
The word alone has the power to shake your soul. For me, it shattered everything I thought I had under control. In that one moment, I stopped being a PhD scholar, a mother, a daughter, a friend — and became a patient. My world shrank to hospitals, reports, and survival.
(During this time I put up whatsapp status “probably the first whatsapp status” ),which was so negative, sounded depressive and sad. Just under 10-12 minutes 100s of messages floated in my inbox asking about my well being? Didi, What happened? We are tensed? Pls pick up call? etc., and after few minutes of putting it I deleted it(Coz I knew meine emotion me kuch to kar diya hai ki sab pareshan honge ab, which I never wanted because I was and I am always a smiling jolly person) I still remember the only call I picked up was Anjani Dubey Ma’am(coz she called from unknown no.) and I spoke my heart out irrespective of what she will think, I cried out everything I felt.
I remember sitting silently for hours after the diagnosis. My mind went numb. I had a one-year-old child who needed me. I had unfinished work at IITK. I had responsibilities, plans, a life. And suddenly, everything was at stake.
The Weight of Silence
During that time, I didn’t share much with people — not because I wanted to hide, but because I didn’t want to be pitied. I didn’t want people to see me differently. I didn’t want to be reduced to a diagnosis. I just remember that one day I called Arun Tomar(and athlete from IITK) and shared that few things will change in my body structure post surgery but I want to run, he listened carefully everything and assured me that whatever possible under my do’s and don’ts he will help me in training for runs. Patanahi chala kaise anjaane me Tomar became a ray of hope for my future running and hopes.
Only a few close friends knew what I was going through. And among them, even fewer knew the extent of it.
There were days I thought of giving up — when the pain became too much, when hope seemed like a cruel illusion. But every time I looked at my daughter, I reminded myself: I had to live. Not just survive — live. For her. For the life we had barely begun.
Support from Afar: An Unexpected Community
What followed was the most difficult chapter of my life — physically, emotionally, and mentally. But it was also the chapter that redefined how I saw IIT Kanpur.
People I barely knew — classmates, friends, professors — became my backbone.
Anurag and Irfan took care of all my departmental responsibilities. My hostel room and belongings were managed by my GH-1 friends. Every little thing I couldn’t handle was silently taken care of.
Faculty members stood beside me like family:
- K dey Sir, who unfortunately passed away during this time. I regret not seeing him again. His warmth will always stay with me.
- Prof. Vaibhav Shrivastava, a calm, supportive presence at that time he was ADHA.
- Prof Dev, always ready to help with a quiet smile.
- Prof Ark: A guide, A saviour and a true human being I must say. He never makes me feel like he is my supervisor. He is more like a elder brother to me and surely all of his students. Always reachable in any case.
- Prof. Bishakh Bhattacharya, a truly exceptional human being who showed unwavering compassion. Sir, I will forever be grateful to you and equally sorry, That I couldn’t make you proud by my work, as I promised once to you.
- DOSA and DOAA staff: All who helped without knowing anything about me.
These weren’t just academic guides. They were pillars of strength when I needed them most.
Through it all, people from IIT Kanpur — though miles away — continued to support me. Some took care of my paperwork. Anurag did all my email and paper work. Others checked in just to talk, to remind me I wasn’t alone. Professors, friends, hostel staff — each played a part in helping me hold on.
Even those who didn’t know the full story gave me strength in small ways. A message, a memory, a gesture of kindness — these became my medicine too.
Here, NIT silchar people played an important part too, as this article is not about NIT so I will write in detail in future articles.”koi ek chutti nahi leta office se, for others and they took longer leaves just to care for me at hospital in mumbai.”
Looking Forward
Cancer didn’t just change my body. It rewrote my perspective on everything — time, relationships, purpose.
I don’t know what lies ahead. Some days are good, others are tough. But I’ve stopped waiting for “normal” to return. I’ve learned to find joy in small things — my daughter’s laughter, a warm cup of tea, an old friend’s message.
And I’ve learned that strength is not always loud. Sometimes, it’s just the quiet decision to keep going, one day at a time.
Chapter: Letting Go to Move Forward
The comeback for my mental and physical recovery:
I joined campus back in august 2023, after a long medical leave of almost 3.5 years. I am deeply thankful to IITK Senate and all the people for standing out for me and helping me in this phase whenever my semester leave application comes to them. I am grateful to SBRA Team for helping me to get a room in new SBRA, as due to my physical health In needed a clean, hygienic and insect free stay and New SBRA is best for that, specially upper floors. After resuming my academics in IITK living there for few months I realized some memory issues which I cannot make anyone understand, its too tough. The girl who can remember any map route, places, people name, phone nos. easily in her mind, was not able to even remember what she was doing few moments before in her research or experiment. This thing gets complicated and increases day by day. And I had to take a decision soon.
There comes a moment in every survivor’s life when you realize that healing isn’t just about fighting — sometimes, it’s about surrendering. Not in defeat, but in wisdom.
As I slowly began recovering — physically and mentally — I made one of the hardest decisions of my academic life. I chose to exit the Ph.D. program at IIT Kanpur and instead accept an MSR degree.
From the outside, it might seem like a step down. But only I knew what my body and brain had been through. The treatments, the medications, the trauma — they had altered my ability to focus, to remember, to function the way I once did. And while my heart still beat for research, my body needed rest. My mind needed peace. I needed to live — not just finish a degree.
Letting go of the “Dr.” title wasn’t a failure for me. It was the greatest act of self-respect I had ever shown myself. I chose life over pressure, health over prestige, motherhood over milestones. And for that, I am endlessly proud.
Chapter: Recovery — Becoming Whole Again
Recovery. The word sounds gentle, like a soft sunrise after a long night. But the reality is far more complex. Recovery is not a straight line. It is slow, frustrating, and deeply personal.
After the diagnosis, my life became a routine of treatment cycles, hospital visits, long nights of fear, and mornings filled with determination. There were times I couldn’t lift my head from the pillow. Times when even smiling felt like effort. But in all of it, there was one unshakable reason I kept moving: my daughter ’Siya’.
Every time I saw her little eyes searching for mine, every time her fingers wrapped around mine — I knew I had to fight. Not just to exist, but to return to her as a healthy, present mother. Over the time I get to know she is much more stronger than me coz she stayed without me on and off for so long.
How can I forget this girl, Diksha Srivastava, played a key role in my happy stay in IITK . You wont believe, sometimes I just woke up and feel extremely low and tired. And I called her “diksha..jagi ho” and she said “haan bolo breakfast le aau mess se…” god , use pata chal jata tha ki me isliye use call kar rahi hu, and without any hesitation I said “yes”, aur vo le aati thi, As I avoid plastic container, she literally comes to my room, take steel tiffin’s and goes back and brings food from GH-1 mess. This actually happens 100’s of time, when she helped me, even I am not there in campus she was always there to pack food for siya and my father, who sometimes stayed with me. Padhne me it must be looking easy. But, trust me it takes love and care to move from one place to another in campus in this scorching heat. Diksha, U know how much I love you. And I mean it. Apart from the tiffin delivery service…lol.. we endlessly talk and share and the bond becomes so close that, that u gave us kavya..(her sister). Siya and Kavya are the bond I always wanted for her. The way Kavya handled and played with Siya.. mesmerizes me, If I scold Siya, Kavya equally gets hurt and later corrects me, not to do so… we had one of the best last 8-10 days in campus best because of her specially.
Rebuilding Through Movement: The Power of Adventure Sports Club
While my academic journey had paused, I knew I had to rebuild myself — physically, emotionally, mentally. And surprisingly, it was the Adventure Sports Club that became a cornerstone of my healing.
The outdoor experiences weren’t just physical workouts — they were emotional medicine. Every time I climbed a stair or crossed a milestone or simply sat in silence with nature, I felt like I was collecting pieces of myself.
The club and its people Chidanand and Lavish specially found out that I am missing me, and always try to make me feel positive throughout the stay on campus. From ground, runs, and cooking food and throwing party with home cooked healthy meals in my room at IITK we have grown into a big family of like minded people. I will forever be in their debt. I still remember the name given by Dushyant to me, hey “champion” whenever I do something small or big, he calls this.
I remember the first run organised by women cell or gender cell , I ran in it. Thinking I will be the last one of all the participants. (Although in the past I always comes in top three positions in the same run) while I was running, In the last 1.5 Kms I felt I will fall and break my bones as I have very weak bones now, fragile ones. But, suddenly someone calls” arey bas ho jayega thoda sa bacha hai 200 m, and I know they are making fool… hahahhah… but still I kept going slowly. I felt I should ask for help and I asked a fellow runner, “kya aap mera hath pakadke bhag sakte ho, I just need a support and I don’t want to give up) he agreed, and helped me. (agar ye post vo padhega to definitely samajh jayega). With his help I could finish the run, and later he get to know that he helped a cancer patient, aur bht khush hua.. and said , aapko bhagna hi kyu tha, when u r so weak and fragile now.. aap baad me recovery achche se karke bhag sakte thena…and I said, there is no such day exists… its today only, and there is no tomorrow for me.
After I end the run, My cheer leader Lavish introduced me formally with Chidanand and make a video of mine to show others… that I did it..
Only runners and sports person knows that feeling….what a moment it was
I began to trust my body again — not because it was perfect, but because it was still trying.
And in those moments, I began to believe that maybe I wasn’t broken. Maybe I was just being remade.
Football & Udghosh – Finding My Field Again
When I first joined IIT Kanpur, my friends and I dreamed of starting a girls’ football team — but it never took off. Years later, after returning from a long medical break, I found out from my friend Damini that a team had finally formed, with her leading it.
She encouraged me to join, and though I was hesitant — worried I might hold the younger players back — I went for it. I just wanted to play. I got to participate in Udghosh, and it was an incredible experience. Playing alongside Anwesha, our amazing captain, was a true joy. Anwesha, you’ll always be part of my favorite campus memories.
During the same fest, I also volunteered as a hospitality organizer — a role I loved because it meant helping people. Many participants from other colleges told me,
“Didi, the rooms weren’t great, but you made us feel welcome.”
That meant everything to me. I’m proud I could make their visit to IITK a little warmer and a lot more human.
A Family Found in SBRA
Life at the SBRA (Single Bedroom Residential Apartments) brought unexpected blessings. After years of living in hostels and rooms filled with deadlines, the SBRA felt like home — not just a place to stay, but a place to heal.
The families, the neighbors, and especially the children of SBRA became a part of my daily joy. The little kids would knock on my door, calling me with excitement, pulling me out of my thoughts. Their energy, laughter, and pure presence had a healing magic no medicine could offer.
All the SBRA families were my families mostly who have kids, as either I left Siya with them or they sometimes left their kids to me, whenever needed. Among them, The family I tortured a lot is Shivangi and Ankit family…”laughing” .. whenever I am late to pick up Siya from Snehan, they helped, whenever I had to urgently go somewhere, They feed Siya. If apart from my own home and Snehan, Siya stayed mostly its their place AA-8 was my second home in SBRA. I am deeply thankful for this whole family for keeping Siya as their own daughter always. And I truly believe that we are a family now without any blood relation for sure.
Others including Arun, Sandhya, Kanchan, Lareib, Deepak, Priyanka, Nisha, Ajeet, Kavita, Jaya di, Madhu etc..(sorry agar me koi naam bhul gayi hu to..) were my one call away people in case I needed them for anything.
Whenever I am alone in campus, to be honest. Each and everyone whom I know invited me for lunch, dinner, breakfast.. (unhe sabko lagta tha me Siya ke bina khana nahi khaungi akele..) and few brought home made food to my place.. ahhhhh.. (ye pyar nahi to kya hai.. bhala isse rahees koi ho sakta hai jitna me feel kar rahi thi in this community of amazing people.)
There were evenings spent in shared spaces, conversations with kind neighbours, and the comfort of being seen as more than just a patient or a scholar. They welcomed me, supported me, and unknowingly helped restore a sense of normalcy.
I wasn’t alone. And in that season of recovery, community meant everything.
Rebuilding, Piece by Piece
Recovery didn’t mean everything got better at once. My body was weaker. My mind had seen shadows it couldn’t forget. But with each step, I started to find myself again.
There was something incredibly grounding about the small victories:
- Being able to walk a little further than the day before.
- Reading an email from a professor and feeling mentally alert enough to respond.
- Sitting in sunlight with my daughter, both of us laughing for no reason.
These moments felt like miracles.
And throughout this period, my connection with IIT Kanpur remained a thread of stability. Friends from the institute, even when they didn’t fully know what I was going through, never let me feel forgotten. They kept me updated, included, and gently encouraged me to return — not just physically, but academically, emotionally, and mentally. Ofcourse… Chidanand and ASC team specially Harshit, Vivek, Amrendra, Sushil, Kushal, KP, Nakul, Saumya, Dimpi, Kanchan, Chhaya, Suhana, Sakshi, Bebina, Jyoti, Snehlata and many more.. (sorry if I missed any). I can write a whole chapter on Chidanand. Those who know him can understand my statement… .
Today, I look back and realize: I didn’t leave without completing something. I left with strength, clarity, and survival.
The MSR degree may not carry the same societal weight as a PhD. But it carries my story. My fight. My resilience. It carries the tears, the sleepless nights, the painful recoveries, and the love I have for my daughter and in this “Irfan” played a key role. I am so sure, without him me MSR bhi nahi kar paati, he always helped and made sure that I understand the concepts better with myself, and if I got stuck he was there to help. He always tried to find time from his busy schedules. I never thanked him like this” warna vo is baat pe bhi mujhse party le lega… hahahahah… but ye article uske bina ho hi nahi sakta… na me yaha passout hoti with MSR , na hi ye likhne ka mauka milta.
I am more than my degree. I am more than my diagnosis.
The Quiet Triumph: soul lessons
There are no medals for what I’ve been through. No ceremonies for letting go with dignity. But I know, in my heart, that I earned something greater.
I earned a second chance at life. I earned deeper friendships. I earned self-worth that is no longer tied to titles or timelines.
When I walked out of the IIT Kanpur campus, degree in hand and daughter by my side, it wasn’t the triumphant ending I had once imagined. It was something deeper — a rebirth.
I was no longer just Neetu, the student, the researcher, the Ph.D. aspirant. I had become Neetu, the survivor, the mother, the quiet guide, and perhaps most importantly — a more grounded human being.
This journey changed me in ways I never expected.
- Empathy became my strength. I now understand pain not just as a word, but as a lived experience. I listen better. I pause more. I understand silence differently.
- I learned to accept help. I’ve always been someone who supported others, who managed things independently. But this time, I had to receive — love, care, assistance. And I’m grateful I did. I speak out when I need to do so, I asked for help when I need to do so.
- I redefined success. For a long time, success meant degrees, deadlines, and achievements. But today, success means waking up without pain. It means holding my daughter and smiling. It means surviving. It means “ aaj poore din me mujhe ek baar bhi pain nahi hua”. Aaj I had a productive day, I didn’t cry even once. I played sports or exercise 2-4 hours a day etc.
A New Identity
The version of me before cancer and the version of me after are not the same. But I don’t grieve that. I honor both. Post treatment I have now become a permanent colostomy person. I have a colostomy, and that’s I am still not accepting (for 100s of reasons, I don’t want to share). But, to everyone know this and accepts me as I m now, I am grateful to IIT Kanpur fellow people and friends. The way they welcomed me in all their gatherings and group events.. O god, it was too emotional to express.
because, I always thinks how they will react when they know I have stoma? What if it sounds? What if they feel disgusting sitting next to me. But, to my surprise nothing like this happened . I was welcomed everywhere with love and care.
Before, I was ambitious, hopeful, and strong.
After, I am still all those things — but deeper. Softer in some ways. Sharper in others. More aware of what truly matters.
I’ve resumed my academic work slowly, on my terms. I may not walk the same pace as before, but I’m walking — with intention, with resilience, and with a new sense of purpose.
Life — Unpredictable Yet Precious
If there is one truth I now live by, it is this: life is unpredictable.
Being a sportsperson, and health conscious girl, I never visited a doctor for any reason. “meri family mujhe bolti thi bachpan se, kya body hai.,, agar to ganda paani bhi pi legi , tab bhi beemar nahi padti.. kya piece hai…” and see, pad gayi beemar, to accept this truth, it took more than 3 years to me,,,, aisa kyu hua? Why me? I ate healthy? Kaha galti hui? But.. the fact is its unpredictable…..
You can plan, prepare, and organize your days, but sometimes life throws storms so sudden that all you can do is hold on. The situations we once believed were “tough” — a low grade, a missed opportunity, an argument with someone — they shrink in comparison to what life can truly demand.
Everyone, in their own quiet way, is fighting something. Some battles are visible. Most are not. And that’s why I now choose to live with kindness first always.
Be kind.
Be patient.
Be helpful — even if it’s in small ways.
Health: The Greatest Privilege
If you’re healthy today, you’re already luckier than many. I never understood this before cancer. I took my energy, my body, even my memory for granted. But now, I know better.
So here is what I tell everyone — and what I live by: may be you can call it precautions for this deadly disease and many more disease similar to this:
- Eat healthy — not for your weight, but for your well-being.
- Move your body — not to look good, but to feel good.
- Sleep well. Laugh often. Go for regular checkups.
- Don’t ignore warning signs. Always take 2-3 opinions, from different doctors.
- Do whatever you can to prevent illness — because prevention is the most underrated form of love you can show yourself.
If it can happen to me — someone young, active, with no family history — it can happen to anyone. Don’t wait for a diagnosis to start taking care of yourself.
Giving Back — A Lifelong Mission
Since my recovery, a quiet mission has taken root in my heart. I’ve started helping others navigate their own health crises — from cancer diagnosis to finding the right doctors, labs, hospitals, treatment options, or simply offering a listening ear.
I’ve guided friends, acquaintances, and even strangers — because I know how dark and confusing that tunnel can be.
And I plan to continue this work — forever. Not as a profession. But as a way of honoring my journey, and the second chance I’ve been given.
If even one person finds clarity, hope, or comfort because of me, then I know that everything I went through has found its purpose.
A Life of Purpose, Not Just Plans
My daughter is growing up watching a mother who doesn’t carry bitterness, but wisdom. I want her to know that life doesn’t always go as planned — but it can still be beautiful.
I don’t know exactly where the path leads from here — and that’s okay.
What I do know is:
- I want to live meaningfully.
- I want to serve others where I can.
- I want to stay curious.
- And I want to keep finding joy — in small things, in people, in myself.
Final Words: To Anyone Reading This
You don’t need to go through a major illness to start valuing life. Start now.
- Be gentle with yourself and others.
- Help people without needing a reason.
- Take care of your health like it’s the most precious asset you own — because it is.
- And if life ever breaks you, know this: you can build yourself again. Maybe even stronger.
IIT Kanpur gave me more than an education — it gave me people, purpose, pain, strength, and the courage to start again.
And now, I step forward — not as who I once was, but as who I was meant to become.
Moving Forward
This article is dedicated to IIT Kanpur — to every person who made me feel seen, safe, and valued. To the entire campus community whose silent kindness helped me survive some of the toughest moments of my life, thank you.
To those who feel lost within the walls of IITK, who think “I don’t have a life here,” — please know this: even in your darkest hour, there is at least one person who would be deeply impacted if you were not here.
You matter. Your life matters.
Love yourself — you are worthy, you are strong, and you are needed.
Yes, academics, research, and personal struggles can be overwhelming. But none of them is more important than your own well-being. Nothing is worth more than your life.
Today, I am not just Neetu, the student from IIT Kanpur. I am Neetu, the mother, the survivor, the friend, the quiet warrior.
There are still challenges. Some days feel heavy. But I carry with me an unshakable truth: I have already faced my darkest storm — and I’m still standing.
And maybe, just maybe, that’s the most meaningful degree I’ll ever earn.
Written by: Neetu Singh
Edited by: Vasu Goyal, Amoghsiddhu. R. N.
Designed by: Pankhuri Sachan, Pragya Puri
