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In the 24th edition of As We Leave 2024, Akansha Singh, a Y20 student in the Department of Computer Science and Engineering, captures the essence of her journey at IIT Kanpur, cherishing the moments, friendships, and experiences that shaped her.
Disclaimer:- The views presented below are the author’s own and are not in any manner representative of the views of Vox Populi as a body or IIT Kanpur in general. This is an informal account of the author’s experiences at IIT-K.
Time is sprawled all around us. Seven of us in a room giddily unpacking our friend’s recent adventure. Two besties admiring the most breathtaking sunset. Three of us having chai, analysing the smallest, strangest concept for absolutely no reason. Walking to Legendary at 4am. Two friends dancing in the gorgeous, gorgeous rain.
Time doesn’t exist, and yet we have all of it. I have a faint awareness of things outside of this moment, but it feels like a distant, blurry haze. We are here, and we are whole, and right now is all there is. It is freeing to have time, and I doubt I’ll ever have so much of it again.
It blows my mind to think that it was just a bunch of small, insignificant events and a shit ton of luck that brought me here. A thousand little dominoes that fell in succession to create my life.
Participating in the fresher’s debating tournament randomly. Creating a group chat with a girl we “met” recently. Being added to the SRDF(our first tournament) contingent. Getting randomly assigned roomies. A girl moving in with my roommate on a random summer day while I was at home. Deciding to try out consulting just because. Going to classes with my new roomie’s friend. Taking feminist theory because my friends insisted. Some nudges resulting in us breaking our tournament hiatus. Going to Delhi with the entire contingent.
All of these decisions were taken without much thought, and yet they led to the most amazing outcomes. I had no idea, but so many little pieces were falling into place so I could meet all these beautiful people and have all these wonderful experiences. Surreal. In this very moment, there are people, places, and experiences whose destinies align with ours, who we are going to connect with in ways we can’t even imagine, and we have no idea.
“We all know how loving ends. But I want to fall in love with the world anyway, to let it crack me open. I want to feel all there is to feel while I am here.” – John Green, The Anthropocene reviewed.
I am so full of love for this place and its people that I don’t know how I can ever express it fully. I have fallen in love with all of it, and that would be my advice to juniors: fall in love with this place, with its beauty, with existence. Put your heart into people, clubs and courses. Romanticise everything: the trees, the peacocks, the chats, the late-night walks, the sunsets. Everything.
I am in love with how alive the campus is. With little squirrels running around DOAA tables. With friend groups, couples, and readers scattered around the fountains, soaking up the winter sun. With gorgeous peacocks spotted randomly on the street. With flowers in every colour imaginable: purple, green, red, white, yellow and a hundred shades of pink. With dogs silently begging for pets. With the swarms of children flocking to campus school in the morning. With all the birds chirping and running around. With cycles that rush by, playing loud music and laughing uncontrollably.
I am in love with friendship and community. These people have taught me love I didn’t even know existed. I’m in love with how they add colour to everything. With how full my heart feels every time I see them. With how intertwined our lives are: in our stories, in our politics, in our interests, in our emotions, in our entire selves. With how everything seems easy, achievable, and fun in the community. And this is my advice to bachis: please find yourself a community of women. They will show you care and joy and comfort like you’ve never known. You will belong, and you will be free in ways you can’t imagine. You’ll have space to talk about everything from sadness to sex to success. Build strong connections with other women; solidarity is liberation.
I am in love with kindness. My mind is often a loud, painful mess, and giving or receiving kindness is a soft, sweet respite from all of it. There have been countless times when I suffered immensely, but friends, professors, workers, acquaintances and strangers have saved me with the smallest acts of kindness. They had no idea I was suffering; they were kind because they wanted to be because that’s who they were.
I’m in love with how campus breaks dichotomies and gives you politics by just…existing. I used to struggle with the choice between living alone or with family. Families feel suffocating because of their lack of space, freedom, and the burden of unending chores on women. Living alone, on the other hand, is also awful because of loneliness and lack of support. The campus is the best of both worlds: you have community and support along with independence and space. You’re never lonely, and you also get to be your own person. It makes you wonder why the rest of the world doesn’t live like this; it is the most blissful living arrangement I can imagine.
I am in love with hope. Hope that urges Suchitra and her simps to keep preserving and keep trying to make the world better even when they know how dire everything is. When they know how much power oppressive systems hold. When they will probably never get to see total liberation in their time here. Hope that has kept me going in the face of excruciating pain. Hope that I’ve seen in my friends as they fight through recessions, heartbreaks and sickness.
I’m in love with how mine this place feels. With walks to doaa at 4am. With how freely we dance in the middle of the street. With how every corner being just as mine as my room. With how comfortable every bus stop, every skywalk and every canteen is.
I am in love with this place in ways I can never put into words. So yes, fall in love with this place. Lean into the moment. Soak it all in while you can. The grind can wait.
Because, in the end, no amount of time will ever be enough. I will always yearn for one more cup of chai. One more hug. One more conversation about languages and art and history. One more sunrise post night out. One more time, listening to the mystery of love. One more minute in the campus rain. One more flower plucked and tucked behind our ears. One more trip. One more time, collapsing into laughter with all of them. One more winter morning. It will never be enough, but I am so grateful for all the time I did have.
Thank you for everything. Thank you for love, joy, and hope. Until we meet again.
Written by: Akansha Singh
Edited by: Brinda Fadadu, Vedanshi Aggarwal
Designed by: Sanyam Shivhare