1. As We Leave

As We Leave #10 : What Am I Really Leaving Behind?

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In this 10th edition of As We Leave, Naman Jain, a Y20 student graduating in the Department of Material Science and Engineering, takes us through his journey at IITK. He takes us through his ups and downs and shows us how every experience has something to teach us, even though sometimes, we may not be able to see it. He shares with us his various experiences, including those with GameDev, MatSoc, the Elections, and the fun he had with the friends he made along the way.

Disclaimer:- The views presented below are the author’s own and are not in any manner representative of the views of Vox Populi as a body or IIT Kanpur in general. This is an informal account of the author’s experiences at IIT-K.

26 Sept, 2020

I had a terrible night trying to sleep. Because tomorrow was not just the exam I had been preparing for (JEE Advanced) but also my birthday. My relatives called after the exam to wish me, and before I could say thank you, the next question popped up – paper kaisa hua? Here I was, admitted to IITK, decided to go all in to try things out.

I almost feel like the character of Aamir Khan in Ghajini, trying to remember the past and getting flashbacks of those memories. Summarising the first 3 semesters is like, if I’m awake = I’m on the laptop. And I’m often in front of the screen and don’t know why I opened it. I remember joining the SnT orientation (on Zoom) while having dal chawal. Being a fan of video games, I was amazed to find that a new community here that develops games. Amongst the many cool and intimidating SnT summer projects, I chose the one with medium time commitment, Intro to Gamedev. Coordinators seemed like some VIPs. Its evaluation task seemed so difficult that I almost laid down my weapons. But the inner voice said, just do whatever you can and submit. Then, in a very smooth/passive manner, I was learning team management, googling & learning from the web, making timed commitments and game dev obviously. We made our first (Android) game and published it on the Play Store. An appreciation (promotion) mail was sent to all the students. We felt really good as this was that kind of cool stuff we IITians are expected to do, right? SnT projects allow you to dive into any domain you desire from scratch. Of course, one could have chosen another project, or one might not get the desired one. Every decision has its pros and cons. And many times, one must make a calculated decision and, with a leap of faith, jump into it with no turning back. If I hadn’t joined GameDev, my IITK journey (or life?) would have taken a different trajectory. Being involved in clubs helps you find some inspiring seniors, some of whom later turn out to be your mentors in so many situations in life, some amazing batchmates and lots of skills learnt actively or passively. 

 

The VC Friends

In the midst of fighting for our right to be on campus and to have an offline semester, we were getting normalized to this IITK on WhatsApp groups, zoom, helloIITK, pingala, prutor, codetantra, gradescope and Brihaspati (iykyk). Chatting on Zoom with private messages during lectures was our fun. Especially when someone sends it to everyone by mistake. 3rd sem was about learning time management, building a core foundation in MSE, being a GameDev & a DnA secy and participating in different competitions. When I retrospect, those little involvements in various competitions of tech, cult, entrepreneurship… made me learn some basic skills and develop perspective in different domains that else I wouldn’t have.

4th sem, we were finally meeting those real faces behind the Zoom screens, visiting places we had only heard stories about, and rapidly learning how to be a senior because my kids were arriving soon. We all know a kid who will not sit in one place and always want something to do. I was (am?) that kid. I was so busy enjoying campus that I contracted COVID within 4 days of reaching. Unexpectedly enjoyed in the yoga hall dorm as well, with no masks, food served to our beds by astronauts (PPE kit heroes), and the announcement sound box as our jukebox.

Jan 2022 – Yoga Hall & Mere 5 bacche (All IITians)

Campus exploration with random night-outs started. I was the guy who was a friend to many friend groups. I knew many people through some short interactions, and therefore, I used to find myself having a chat with every fourth person in a public place. I looked at it as networking or making good connections. In retrospect, after a certain time, I should have made more conscious efforts to find the person who matches my vibe & passion and deepened my friendship with them. Massive superficial friendship leaves little time for building close friendships, making you feel stuck in maintaining relationships. Moreover, don’t get too influenced by the judging tags assigned to people. I found this many times that the person behind those tags had a different personality altogether. I am grateful to some friends who stayed by my side in my journeys and helped me climb the ladder.

Then comes the CP-DSA virus. There are many reasons why software development jobs are a prevalent and safer choice for most IITians. But does that career option align with your life goals and how you perceive your future? Many of us skip this question and end up diseased with the CP-DSA virus. Your first job will not govern your life, but at least try to gain the most out of IITK by having a career launch in the direction you like. If you like your branch core, be courageous enough to take it up as a full-time career option in placements or research. You are amongst the best engineers in this nation. There is no doubt that you will get a plethora of opportunities if you are good in some domain. I believe building more in-house products/services to solve campus problems (for starters) is a great opportunity. That may not be monetary, but it will help you learn and showcase your skill set to a large-ready audience. On a greater level, it will help us outweigh ourselves as an entrepreneurial hub. Meeting alums in their batch reunions always caught me amazed. They were all veterans in their fields, full of experiences, who had worked for decades. They used to advise me like their kid.

After about a hundred mail requests for SURGE, I got an acceptance reply from 4 of them 🙂 Again comes the summer of learning. I had to work for SURGE, manage SnT summer projects as a GameDev leader and prepare for the coming internship season. Soon, my interaction with Prof Jha & some seniors in MSE played a pivotal role in encouraging me to work towards building our departmental society, named MatSoc. All this in the blazing summer of Kanpur, in which I was a refugee to a room of 3 wingies due to 1 cooler. SURGE ends, I was very clear that research is not my long-term thing 🙂

One of the best and most unique things IITK has is its culture. It is not just through lingo, intro, and golden rules, but also whenever a student shares a common feeling towards their wing/community/hall/institute. Its unique culture makes you connect quickly with a junior or a decades-old alumni. It is something that we share, build and pass on. It was a driving force for me to work extensively for MatSoc, that I am contributing to forming a new culture for the welfare of my branch and ensuring that it is sustained.

I almost feels like it was yesterday only, with those – endless bulla night outs, discussions with my team, exploring the vast campus on cycle, the options to eat in so many places at such nominal prices, intense rush during the peak time of some event conduction/exams, everything but studying in lectures, bakc**di in labs, enjoying knowing different perspectives, approaching seniors full of questions, interaction with juniors, trekking & traveling, bhayankar dancing, amazing fests, all-nighter before exams, campaigning during elections in 4*C, giving the longest EDAD…

Anything, they were there to listen – Deepanshi, Ojsi, Sweta & Agrim

MSE was easier and more fun with them

I saw great potential in SnT for the campus, and GenSec was the key to take the wheel. It was a big decision to contest, as the time and energy it takes is enormous. First, winning the elections and then handling it well. I had to be clear with – Does it align with my goals for what I want from my IITK journey? If I lose, can I handle the failure? A major part of my 3rd year went into student communities, and now 4th year, too? I knew I did not have political support. A senior who contested presidential elections once told me, “If you go to each and every door and campaign, then it is not possible that you lose.” And I bought that. I believe the campaigning process is something that trains the candidate for the upcoming tenure and hones his/her leadership skills.

Meanwhile, managing 2 baby communities was difficult. The core thing about management is managing people, which creates work dependency. If my co-worker doesn’t do his job timely and our event fails/suffers due to him, will I accept it? It was a NO always. Due to this, I found myself overworked most of the time. I had stretched myself to my limits in managing everything – Acads, PORs, relationships. Much later in the tenure, a close friend of mine made me realize – “Each member does not have the same dedication”. Everyone has and must have their own priorities. These experiences taught me 3 things – let others take responsibility for their work, and if the event suffers, we as a team will face it. Second, I was being a perfectionist, which gave me a huge beating when things didn’t go my way. Third, I should cooperate better at work. One must spend time with the team members and try to understand where their strengths can be harnessed.

The Materials Society 2023-24

Game Development Club 2022-23

For weeks, it felt like I was a foolish person roaming the whole campus in the freezing winter, trying to explain to others how SnT affects their life@iitk, what GenSec is, and what SnT can possibly do. The feeling that anyone could be recording (betraying) you was very disturbing.

While choosing the institute’s student leader, Is it just a matter of hall support for GC? It is a sad reality that a handful of us are concerned with the gymkhana’s work, rather interested in power trip. Hall politics, regional politics, patronage, lobbying and rumors will occur in every election and can only be controlled to some extent. I have a simple proposition: the voice from GBM that raises such issues on public platforms for fair elections should not die down.

Much more than election buddies: Anjanesh, Advait & Nandini

I lost by 9 votes out of 3600 who voted that year. Hundreds of mistakes, big & small, used to appear in my mind. There were very few I thought to be worthy of sharing my feelings with. Loneliness is not just having nobody around, but also when you feel nobody around understands you. I had been in the shoes of SnT GenSec for the past 6 months, and WOOSH! everything ends. I learned so many things from this journey that I am grateful to God for. Things like presenting myself, being ultra conscious about choice of words, instituting policies and structure of communities, human behavior, and managing failure. Impromptu public speaking in various situations helped me gain immense confidence. Some situations made me realize my innermost strengths and weaknesses (faster but brutally) that I was unaware of. My campaign team doesn’t have a single penalty fine imposed on them. I feel proud that I stayed by my principles. If a job takes away THE ME from me, I won’t do it.

At times, the lack of accomplishment from a long time steals the fun out of life. Even though you are putting in your efforts well. Comparison and expectations also remind you of it. But hang tight and keep working. We all have gone through it. You cannot see observable results until you cross the valley of disappointment.

Summer of learning III. I went to each Y19’s room with whom I had contact—and had some beautiful interactions, especially during the organization of the Y19 MSE farewell. While interning in Hyderabad, I realized the changes IITK brings us. It is quite literally a simulation where one can test and run things. If they don’t suit you, then switch to another. Atomic Habits was the book that gave me tools to rewire myself. Talking to seniors helped me very much in preparing for placements. Their words of assurance gave me immense support that I was going in the right direction. They also took my mock interviews. While preparing, I kept asking myself, “If campus placements are bad, Am I ready for off-campus?”

Some power banks: Rohit, Disha, Payal, Ojsi, Khoobayshee, Adit, Harsh

With Saksham (my constant) & At our GameDev Club HQ – Prakhar, me, Siddhartha (Y19 Leader), Rudransh and Ishan

People here are really good at masking their flood of emotions. So offer help whenever you think your friend needs it, and do not hesitate to ask for the same. You will find there were many people willing to help you, just that you seemed perfect & didn’t ask earlier. I found Utkarsh Kandi to be my placement buddy. Preparation with him was one of the best companionship that I had.

A gentle reminder: keep briefing your parents about what is going on in your life. In your hardest storms, they will always be on your side, whatever the case. Ask for their suggestions and make them part of your decision-making process.

Parivaar: Saksham, Ojsi, Shreya, Advait, Utkarsh, Arnav, me, Mummy, Papa, Sweta, Sanmati, Anshul and Aman

Gems: Prem, Rohit, Utkarsh & Ultra Core Team MatSoc (My Fallback System): Mohan, Ojsi, me

The final semester gave us another chance to do whatever we wanted to with a carefree mind and a more mature version. I played many new sports, did wall climbing, interacted with juniors, made good connections with few professors, danced in ghagra, kept adding and clearing things from my mind’s bucket list, went for a snow trek, secured a research internship in NTHU, Taiwan, tried to talk to whomever I wished to. It would be a lie if I said that I don’t have regrets. But none bothers me much as I feel contented by how I tried to put effort into and learn from those experiences. IITK, to me, is the great people I met, the culture we share and my 2nd home that never felt like a foreign place. 

Sayonara!

Written by : Naman Jain
Edited by: Aashika Gupta, Sruthi Subramanian
Designed by: Sanyam Shivhare

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