Divyanshu Gangwar is a graduating Y19 from the Department of Electrical Engineering. From the initial bewilderment to finding a closely knit family, Divyanshu’s four-year journey at IITK has been a roller-coaster ride. From reflecting upon the struggles of being a college student at IIT, to being an Associate Head at the Academics and Career Council, join him as he talks not only about the good parts of college life, but also about the darkness that often engulfs us as we try to navigate the 4 years of college.
As I finally sit down to pen down this piece with earphones plugged in on Abhijeet Bhattacharya’s “Lamha Lamha” after my Vox POC expected this weeks ago :P, a stream of flashbacks are overpowering me. Oh IITK, what a journey this has been. A batch whose most precious time of sophomore year was eaten up by Covid, being part of a department infamous for being exhausting and a time when market is uncertain, a lot has been ascended in these four years. It feels as though only a psychedelic trip can actually pour out the real emotions into words. Anyways, from here on, I will delve into two facets: my journey and my message to IITK readers. To a specific niche audience that I wish to address particularly, watch out for the “Struggle, BTs and Life” section.
Where it all started!
I really wondered how on earth some students knew almost everything they needed to know before entering this place. They already came here reading a tonne of Quora articles and YT videos and there I was clueless. I had lived my entire life in UP and yet, entering IITK gate felt like a different world altogether(in fact it is). Although I had come to campus much before JOSAA counseling, I don’t remember the exact date. So eventually, it was 20th July 2019, when I entered campus on day 1 of the CS orientation. It’s amazing how a bunch of random people came together to make such a closely-knit family. There indeed have been disagreements among us but what are friends who don’t abuse you day in and day out. Allow me a moment to digress and call out those fake people who have a habit of highlighting the best moments alone. I have read a whole lot of AWLs, “RISE with the Seniors” blogs, etc and I used to wonder if all of what some of them are saying is really that much happening or is it just embellishment. If you also feel the same, you are not alone. Nevertheless, back to the topic in hand.
I remember my SG saying that “Iss week ko jitna enjoy krna hai kr lo, fir nhi ayega ye time”. At that time, fatigue from the day’s relentless juggle would engulf us, rendering these words insignificant. Now I look back to realize how carefree that time was. Mannequin Challenge and Harlem Shake were really the times when all of us became immensely close. We pulled off a great Mannequin performance (at least what we thought :D) to win a Frisbee jiska aaj tk pta nhi kha hai vo. Months passed by as we started bonding in overnight “bullas”.
Months passed by as a bunch of strangers started forging unforgettable memories together within the walls of our wing. Sleepless Tuesday nights with mine and wing-bhais’ TA sheets spread over the table, drafter thrown aside, and us drawing freehand straight lines, Wednesday’s early morning PE, followed by a 3-hour exhausting TA lab and three lectures in the evening, all feel like a recent memory and I wonder how my lazy ass pulled this off.
Hall, Fest(s) and Covid …
IITK’s parent-hall culture is one of the best things that I feel integrates this place. As “Takneek” and “Galaxy” came in, our horizon of “Wing” expanded to the “Hall”. I met some superb seniors and batchmates who were relentless in their goal and had a sense of commitment. This was a peak time when many of us dedicated wholeheartedly to the hall (not me honestly!). I can’t forget the relentless nights of wandering and questing during SnT code, only to miss results by a couple of hours. During Takneek, I became close to many people in my hall and eventually made other friends across departments as our classes went by. Then came Antaragni and honestly, for a fresher, this was something that was so majestic and grand. All of these things now feel pretty normal. Alas! We stop appreciating what we get in abundance. Four days filled with a myriad of adventures with a tint of anxiety for Monday’s PHY101 lab exam were indelible. Months passed by, Galaxy came in, and the roar of beating hearts could be felt in the air, and the ride from Hall-13 to Hall-5 became a quotidian scene. I represented my hall in Parliamentary Debate (albeit not successful) and forged lifelong experiences that I will never forget. While this was going on, I also tried my hands with the Aerial Robotics team. I laugh at myself now when I look back at my old codes, the level of nooby doubts, and the immense struggles I had to go through to get things done. But I think that’s part of the process, right? Those uphill struggles eventually taught me a lot of niche things and bettered me in my coding journey at an early stage.
There we were thinking that everything was great, and then came Holi Break and changed our odyssey forever. One and a half years of COVID’s frustrating confinement was an unwanted reality whose marks are indelible. Our whole Intern season, right from preparation was online, in the confines of our homes and though this had its own advantages, the mood was depressing, even for the most prepared among us. I can’t imagine the struggle and frustration that my Y18 seniors had to go through in their placement prep, and I wholeheartedly sympathize with them. Overall, COVID took one of the most precious moments of our sophomore year, a time when you develop your personality the most, the time when you forge lifelong connections, try out different activities and collectively cry with friends, and resolve to make up for fucked-up things.
Struggle, BTs and Life
Among all the sections, if there’s one I truly hope you derive most value from, it is this particular one. Dear readers, life is not as happening as some people portray. IITK has always provided me with more than I could ever ask for: an excellent group of peers, a sufficiently competitive environment to grow and a whole lot of activities to choose from, witness and learn. But in this beautiful voyage, there were numerous storms of disappointments. If you have read the above sections, you have probably inferred how clueless I was in the initial days. And I think it’s completely ok to not be prepared and to not know anything in advance but what’s not okay is to be swayed by everything out there, which was exactly what my problem was back then. Like every on-the-top freshie out there, I felt the need to do everything, excel in everything and in the process, didn’t realize my limitations. This leads to anxiety and peer comparison – the most harmful thing while living in a community. You end up feeling that you are not good enough, or/and that your peers are better than you, and you begin to isolate yourself in your room. This leads to a vicious cycle of more anxiety as you feel shy to disclose what your problem is. If you resonate with even a single word written here, I want you to know that you are not alone, and numerous students share this very feeling.
Along this roller-coaster ride, there will be numerous occasions when you feel like nothing is working your way, or that maybe you don’t belong here, or everything is so fast-paced that you won’t be able to catch up. This is more of a problem for freshers, but senior batches will also relate to this. Be it trying to get a good CPI in a highly competitive class or trying to fit in a load of programming classes delivered within a span of days, such emotions are inevitable. I am not here to offer you a solution on how to deal with this, because you already know it – just be calm and patient with yourself, do what is necessary to move ahead and give up on unnecessary pursuits. I am here to offer solace and make you feel that this phenomenon is not rare.
Time at Academics & Career
The Academics and Career Council has been an integral part of my journey here. From Secretary to Manager to Associate Head (Institute Secretary for future batches :p), this has been a long voyage. Initially, like every fresher, I just wanted to enter some place for the sake of a PoR. I ended up in the PSG office, Students’ Senate, CS and AnC. As months went on, AnC appeared more fit to my persona and then there was no looking back. I still remember my four-and-a-half-hour long Round-1 of the Manager Interview and whole sleepless night of AH elections and accompanying controversy with endsems just around the corner. I met so many wonderful people during my time: Sampada, Shloka, Alok, Manit, Deepak, Debaditya and many-many others.
To the future core team of Academics and Career, the command of the whole council is in your hands. Just because the GenSec is an elected representative, it is not his/her/their entire responsibility to manage everyday affairs. The past teams have worked significantly over the years to establish AnC’s position among the campus community, and now the torch is in your collective hands to build on the legacy. I have immense faith in you that you will look upon yourself as members of a team coming together to achieve a larger goal. All the very best!
Closing the Inkpot
To all the people I have met in my incredible journey at IITK, thank you for being there. With some of you, I am sure we will meet again and have cherishing conversations. Ayush, Atharva, Vatsalya, Agrim, Vikas, Prathmesh, Varshith, Harsh, Amrit and others, the wing is incomplete without you all. Let’s sit together again with a deck of cards and go down the memory lane. Videh, you have been an anchor in this final year. Thanks for being there. You and Prateek, remember that approximately 24 hour long of sleeplessness to finish the DBMS project? Oh! What a jam-packed day. Aditya, Utkarsh, Tarun, Aman, Lochan and Prakhar, you people have been there right since first year. Can’t imagine how dull lockdown would have been without that “7 Gabbbar Sher” :p.
It’s now time for me to put down my pen and reflect upon all the beautiful memories of IITK.
Written by- Divanshu Gangwar
Edited by- Manasvi N, Aarish Khan
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