Mrunmayee Shiledar is a graduating Y19 student from the Department of Electrical Engineering. In the twenty fifth edition of As We Leave, Mruunmayee leaves us in awe of her resilience as we spectate her 3-set badmintn match with college.
Disclaimer:- The views presented below are the author’s own and are not in any manner representative of the views of Vox Populi as a body or IIT Kanpur in general. This is an informal account of the author’s experiences at IIT-K.
JEE advanced results were announced, and on the very next day, I knew I was coming to Kanpur. My family has a long line of electrical engineers, so choosing IITK EE was not a tough choice. The only thing I knew about IITK was that the academics here are tough, but it didn’t bother me that much at that time (bad choice). I have questioned my decision to choose EE many times in the last four years, but now that I am graduating, I can’t complain anymore. I used to play badminton from a very young age, but due to JEE coaching, I had to discontinue it. I was very excited to start playing again, so the very first thing I searched for was sporting facilities at IIT Kanpur. I was not satisfied with the information online, so I messaged the then badminton captain to learn about the process of getting selected for the team. The first goal I had set for myself was to get back to badminton and become part of the institute team (a good choice).
This AWL is not filled with advice on what to do and what not to do; it’s just my story, the result of the decisions I took, and the consequences of the situations that came. Now that I am looking back at my time here at IITK, it feels like a 3-set badminton match between me and college. Let’s start with the first set.
SET 1: First Semester (Pre-COVID)
My first semester was like a dream for me. After CPA trials, within a week I was called for daily practice, and I knew I was on the right path. When everyone was exploring new things, I was grinding myself to get back to badminton. I was overjoyed to play badminton after 4 years, but it was not easy. I struggled a lot in the beginning, not just because I was not in the best shape but because after the rigorous practice sessions, there was no energy left for anything else, and I was feeling like I was missing out on stuff. I pushed myself and participated in the sessions of the DnA club, but I couldn’t continue for a much longer period of time. Soon, when quizzes started and I scored terribly low in MTH101, I understood I had to find a balance between academics and badminton.
Days passed, and it was time for my first Udghosh. I, along with Navya, were in team B. We had no expectations; we were just enjoying the experience. The support we got during tough matches made us so confident that we eventually won gold. At that moment, I knew this was going to be a big part of my college life. After our win at Udghosh, expectations started to grow. In two weeks, there was Spardha at IIT BHU, which clashed with Antaragni. We didn’t want to miss our first Antaragni, but as tournament experience was crucial, we decided to go. Missing Shanker-Ehsaan-Loy’s pronite was less painful with the winning trophy in our hands.
After coming back from Varanasi, I was able to manage my time better. The memories of sitting together to complete TA assignments but ending up eating soya katori are still fresh. Endsems were coming, and I knew if I wanted to continue badminton, I needed to maintain a decent CPI. One evening, when I was studying in my room, I received a call from my senior telling me that I would be leading the team at Inter IIT. I was in complete shock (LITERALLY!). The goal was to get into the team, but to become captain was something I had never thought of. The confidence it gave me helped in my endsems as well, and I finished my first semester with a decent CPI. Now that I had become captain, I was feeling the stress but was quite excited for it. At inter-IIT, we took on the challenge one match at a time and managed to reach the finals. The final was a tough match against IIT Madras. I made a few decisions before the match that didn’t turn out in our favor, and the streak of winning gold medals ended for us. I was very disappointed with myself, but seeing one of my closest friends win the gold medal made me forget about the loss and focus on celebration. I was on cloud nine after this.
Winning three medals in total, including one Inter IIT medal, becoming captain in the first semester, and managing to not screw up my acads in the very beginning was surely a big first set win against college.
SET 2: During COVID
When I had such a dream-like first semester, I thought I was going to win this game against college very easily, but I was not prepared for what came next. When I saw my PHY103 midsem sheets, my morale dropped as I had scored zero for the first time. I was so sad but was determined to cover up in the later half of the course and even brought Griffiths with me during the midsem break so that I could start studying, but we soon received the mail from the director about the extension of the break and eventually the mail regarding the ending of the semester. I was worried about my Phy103 score and didn’t know what the prof would do. The day I received the mail about getting deregistered from the course was one of the saddest days, I had never faced such failure in my life, and my confidence dropped. Everything was so uncertain and sad.
I had planned my college life around badminton and GnS council, but with everything happening online, it wasn’t possible. I started trying out new stuff, but nothing stuck for a long time. I was worried about how I would survive college.
Despite my best efforts at planning, the universe had a way of throwing curveballs my way. It is in these moments that we learn to adapt to different situations. Accepting that things are not going to go as per plan is difficult; moving forward takes time. Figuring things out in uncertain times is not easy; trusting even yourself gets tough, but eventually you do; you just need to keep trying.
At the end of my second year, when everyone started to prepare for internship season, I was living such a mundane life that I decided not to sit for an internship because I knew I wasn’t ready. Seeing my friends get offers made me happy, but inside I was getting worried about myself. I wasn’t even sure of the field I wanted to go into, so I tried everything that seemed interesting to me. Seniors were back on campus, and soon we were going to be called, so there was a ray of hope that things would go as they were before. I was happy but worried about my internship; at least I had finalized the field in which I wanted to explore more.
The 22 months that we spent at home were not always cheerful for me. There are lots of phases of this time that I don’t want to remember. I lost this set against college, but I did learn to survive in hard times. From everything planned to not knowing anything about the future, it was not easy. I somehow managed to learn to swim in the ocean of figuring it out by the end of this time. It’s acceptable to simply get through difficult times without always doing something extraordinary.
SET 3: Back to Campus
We were back on campus in our 6th semester; classes were happening online only, so there was a lot of time. Even though there was time, I had a lot going on at that time. I was part of the Antaragni team, had to select players for the new badminton team, apply for internships, and, along with these things, focus on my academics because this was the last chance before placements to improve my CPI. One more important thing was to enjoy it with my friends and compensate for the time spent at home.
I, Navya and Animesh were the only ones remaining from the badminton team before COVID. It was very strange to become the only senior members of the team because, before COVID, we were the ones in our first year, so everyone was senior to us. We conducted various trials along with our coach and made a team that we can all call a family.
The first challenge for our new team was Udghosh 21; it was an overwhelming experience for everybody, but me and Navya still managed to add another gold to our bag. It was somewhat of a reassurance to me that things are going well. I had not gotten a chance to attend any fest in my first year, so I was quite excited about attending the pronites. Everything was going smoothly; I got an internship, and thankfully it was a remote one because I wanted to stay on campus as much as I could at that time, plus I had ample time to start preparing for placement season.
I had planned in my first year that I wanted to become part of the GnS council, so I went for the Deputy Contingent Leaders’ position. Being a DCL and part of the GnS council taught me a lot. I have made some strong bonds here. At the right time, you do meet the right people. We did every possible thing in our tenure, but in the end, the result was not in our favor, but it was okay. For the upcoming teams, I will just say that they should learn from the last Inter IIT and work on them.
In the seventh sem along with my responsibilities, I was preparing for placements. Doing cases regularly, reading various books, and giving company tests but not getting shortlisted for an interview was very frustrating. I didn’t have any shortlists on day 1.1; my anxiety was getting to me as I had very few shortlists. On day 1.2 I gave 5 rounds but at the end of the day when I didn’t get the offer, I was devastated. My confidence was going down every minute. Day 2.2 was the most hectic, and it was the day that I will never forget. I gave nine interviews back-to-back. I managed to give these many interviews because of my friends; they were with me constantly, running between hall 5 and hall 12, scheduling my interviews, helping me relax and focus in between the interviews, and doing anything that was required at that moment. I felt content at that moment to have such people beside me. At the end of the day, when I finally got the offer, I was so relieved and happy. I had not slept for two straight days, but I was still so happy that night that I couldn’t sleep.
From the beginning of the last semester, there was only one goal-to enjoy college life to the fullest and not have any regrets at the end. I had to do two batti basket DEs in my last sem but even after that, I managed to do everything, go on a trip, perform in DE, successfully conduct Inferno after so many years, dance my heart out in the fests, go on endless parties, spend nights talking and enjoying with my friends, and many more. I did it all. This was the college life I always dreamed of. The last four months have been crazy, and I will always treasure them.
RESULT
I have won and lost a lot of matches, but one thing was constant that winning always felt good, but winning against college is different. Winning meant that match was ending, and my time here at IITK was coming to an end. I can say college has given me so many things, but the most important of them all are my friends, who were certainly a family away from home, and the memories with them are so close to my heart that I will never trade that for anything. College was tough for me sometimes, and I wasn’t a fan of that, but it turns out it was getting me ready for what’s next. All this time, I thought college was not on my side, but it was always on my side, grinding me to become a better person. College does change a person, from being shy and scared to do anything while entering college to someone who can give a presentation in Audi and give a dance performance in OAT in their final year. I can’t say I am fully ready for the next phase of life, but I am assured I can survive.
When my friends were leaving campus one by one, I was feeling so sad. Each day without them was difficult, but when the day when I had to leave came, I wasn’t as sad as I had thought I would be; instead, I was happy. The last four years were the best, and as every journey has an end, this also had to end. Leaving with little to no regrets was the plan, and I did achieve that, so in a way, it was the best ending I could get.
Written By: Mrunmayee Shiledar
Edited By: Saloni Mittal, Zainab Fatima
