In the 23rd edition of As We Leave, Ayush Shakya, a Y18 pursuing double majors in CSE and CHE recounts his journey. His story is one of undying hope, and contagious optimism. With exploding laptops and scenic trips thrown in for good measure. Read about Ayush’ journey, his amazing friends, and that one time he took an Uber from Hall 5 to NCL.
Disclaimer:- The views presented below are the author’s own and are not in any manner representative of the views of Vox Populi as a body or IIT Kanpur in general. This is an informal account of the author’s experiences at IIT-K.
I’m usually not the one who writes. It was Shikhar who urged me to write this AWL, and I’m glad he did. God knows I procrastinated a lot while writing this AWL, but one fine day lazily scrolling through reels, I read this:
“I think we forget things if we have no one to tell them to” – Irfan Khan (The Lunchbox)
It hit me, what if someday I wake up in my usual corporate life and I don’t remember all the beautiful experiences I had throughout my college life. This AWL is my attempt at preserving all those memories and people I met along this journey.
My journey at IITK began before I even stepped foot on the campus. I remember how I was calculating my JEE Advanced marks on a group call with Siddharth, Varun and Yash. Just before checking Maths Paper 2, my total was nearly equal to theirs. Sid (he gets a bit dramatic at times) disconnected the call assuming my scores would be much higher. I still laugh at the sheer irony of the moment because when I calculated the marks, I got a -3. After putting in an hour’s worth of effort, I got a negative score. I chuckle every time now that I remember this episode of my life, but back then, I felt downhearted. After talking to a bunch of IITK seniors, I gambled with my future to join IITK with the BS Chemistry branch in hopes of a branch change. This meant an absolute focus on studies and studies only, for I didn’t want to jeopardise my career for any of my shenanigans. On the bright side, my entire batch of coaching friends was coming with me to IITK.
The first few days of orientation passed away quickly, and I knew these fun-filled events were short-lived. The fact that my Bapu was the Kholu among Y17s and my “Bhais” were from the “good branches” put a bit more pressure on my head. I got back to studying as the first quiz of the semester was coming soon. I did my best only to get an abysmal 2/10 score on my PHY102 quiz. This worried me even more as I went through a downward spiral. At this moment Atin (whose brother Jatin was also an IITK grad) told me I was being way too hard on myself and shared some secrets from his bhaiya’s experiences with IITK courses. It had such a transformative effect on me as I started having a much more balanced and healthier outlook on academics.
I performed much better than my expectations and thought if I kept my performance up like this, branch change into EE wasn’t a far-fetched dream. And then came the second semester to shatter my hopes. I started taking my academics lightly. For instance, being from an ICSE school, I didn’t study ESC101 at all. I took up the advanced track, only to realise later that my project was much more than I could handle. I realised my mistake a bit late, and I asked the professor to change my project at the last moment. With only two months to work on, others had four months to do their project. All, apart from Yash, who started working only 2 weeks before the submission. I worked my ass off day and night and had such a USP, that the professor was quite delighted with my work. As a result of putting in lots of effort for the project, my attention was diverted and my MTH102 course sank. I lost the chance to branch change into MTH by 0.01 CGPA. I still wonder how well I would have coped with MTH courses, given my other-worldly mathematics performance in JEE. 😂 I got my branch changed to CHE, and boy, it was such a blessing in disguise.
Feeling a sense of accomplishment, I ended my first year and left behind the constant worrying and anxious version of myself. Almost everyone in our group changed branches to the ones they desired, and it called for a celebration. That’s when we had our first BBQ Nation party . Just after the second semester ended, five of us went on a trip to Sikkim. This was my first trip with friends, and it was a memorable one. Whether it is the tower stacked from Dominos cardboard boxes or it is the ghost hunting in the resort backyard, my first trip was a resounding success. (Kudos to trip planners Chauhan and Talib) There, I realised I had a passion for travelling and photography (still got a long way to go). I felt a sense of freedom and adulthood for the first time. We spent most of the summers in the library, RM and the swimming pool (when it was not under construction OFC🥲) to beat the heat. We joined the IITK Summer of Code that very summer, another exposure to development. And like every group project ever, we had one backend developer (Kudos to Sid), two front-end developers, and two guys who just did a bunch of data entry. Talib made a -3 meme in good sport, and Yash shares it to this day on 10 June every year.
Extended lockdowns meant every aspect of our college lives, including the internship drive, would take a non-conventional turn. However, I took up a Double Major program in CSE, and that allowed me to skip the internship drive. With lots of time on my hand and a major, I was highly interested in, things seemed to be going in the right direction. Four of us even joined a fraud internship, and after doing absolutely nothing for 1.5 months, we realized what a sheer waste of time it was. After realizing what a sheer waste of time it was, I started believing in how borderline criminal unpaid internships are. I didn’t want to waste my next summer too. So Varun and I decided to go for a foreign research internship, on a whim, with no previous research experience. We were just dabbling through the options only for Varun to secure an internship at TU Munich. It was a wake-up call for me, and I started cold-mailing professors seriously. In no time, I found a professor interested in hosting me at TU Dresden under DAAD Wise. The idea of visiting Europe excited me so much that I planned several backpacking trips (especially the Alps) during our stay in Germany.
Destiny must have been in a playful mood, for the world came down with strict lockdowns during the second wave of the pandemic, leaving me to wonder if it was all just a cosmic coincidence or a clever practical joke. With my europe ambitions crushed, I focussed on the upcoming internship drive preparation while juggling the online research internship. (Ping me for preparation tips XD 😂) I remember, during the last few days of practice, I felt that I didn’t know anything and even if I’d get an internship at all. Only with the support of “the discord group” could I fight through all these negative emotions. I saw that a bunch of new companies, Jane Street, Optiver, etc came up. Well, I considered them out of my league and focussed on banking and software firms. To my delight, I got into Google on day zero. Google was probably the best software firm I could get into, so I stopped all my preparation and last week’s revision for the dreadful Day 1. I sat in several Day 1 interviews (SPO formality) with no care in the world (and no revision). It began with the Goldman coding interview, where I claimed I didn’t know how to reverse a linked list (the first question one sees on the GFG landing page). In my Tower interview, I was asked two problems straight out of 50CP, and thanks to no revision, I didn’t remember the detailed solution. These situations were almost comical to me, and I even let out a muffled laugh. The interviewers (IITK alums) realised too that I wasn’t interested in those firms, and after a hearty conversation about IITK, we parted ways.
I don’t know what came over me, and I decided to give Optiver an interview in full seriousness. It was probably the inviting nature of their interviewers and the Optiver HR. The results were not announced though, and I didn’t think I stood a chance. My baapu worked at Quadeye, and he convinced me to give the Quadeye interview in complete seriousness too. At that time, I was oblivious to the significance of this event, but later, this would eventually prove to be a pivotal moment in my life, as my Baapu would return as a guardian angel to help me in my hour of need. I remember convincing and almost fighting the SPO team to change my internship to Quadeye at the last moment, even though it was lower than Google on my priority list. They responded, “According to the priority list, you’re selected for Optiver. Do you wish to change it to Quadeye?” I said, “No, thank you!” and hurriedly disconnected the call. After processing it for a while, I realised what it meant. I was awestruck, as if the heavens had gifted me with a blessing beyond my wildest dreams. I was merely a guy from Chemical with an abysmal JEE score. It meant my Europe dreams weren’t entirely gone. They just upgraded from being German to Dutch aspirations. I realised I could still make it to the Alps with a few minor changes to the original plan.
Fast forward to the final semester of Y18, COVID restrictions were lifted, and we returned to the campus. The environment in Hall-1 was wild. Constant partying, halla and lafde were a daily thing. This one time, we returned from the mess, and Shashwat’s laptop exploded (no exaggeration, it literally exploded). It was made into a meme on one of Instagram’s most prominent meme pages. The BYOB hall party on the final day took a wild turn as I saw my batchmates climbing the flagpole and others trying to make them slip by showering them with a garden hose. Some people broke off a giant palm tree leaf and threw it onto the mess gate. The rain party kept getting crazier by the hour, and we realised it might be our last time partying with some of those present. It was there that I bid adieu to many of my friends. This semester was the best one yet, except for a tiny mishap.
My visa for Amsterdam was rejected towards the end of April. Ukrainian migrant inflow into the EU made visa rules stricter, and I, along with 4 other unfortunate friends from IIT Bombay and Madras, fell victim to the situation. The HR at Optiver denied the possibility of an online internship mode. I was devastated when I realised I might be left without any internship, which is worse than doing an unpaid internship. I often thought to myself, perhaps I’ve run out of luck, and this is just fate taking its gift back away. Those were genuinely depressing times, as Visa appointments for Indians had 2-3 months of waiting. I contacted multiple companies and started preparing for interviews, but all in vain. No company offered me an internship as they would begin in a month. It was at this moment my Baapu, Satyam came to my rescue. He talked to the HR at Quadeye and re-instated my earlier offer from the firm. I finally had an internship, and that too a great one; however, I had to give up on my Eurotrip dream.
I had no idea how splendid this internship experience would be, that I wouldn’t even miss Amsterdam. The internship was to be held in Gurgaon for two months. The interns were accommodated at a hotel on Golf course road, and it was my first time seeing such a futuristic city with glass skyscrapers defining its skyline. I was going to share the room with Lakshay. The work began soon, and the pace picked up. Quadeye didn’t go light on lunch. Every Friday, they would order 150-200 pizza boxes from Domino’s, and I would try 5-6 different slices over lunch. The firm treated us to an open bar party at the most exquisite pubs in Gurugram every other week. I remember taking a shot of every drink there was at a party. Indeed the clubs at Kanpur were no match for this. In a span of 2 months, I did almost every activity one could in Delhi-NCR. From go-karting to ice-skating, mystery rooms to museum hunting, you name it all.
I even met Manan, Talib, and others as their jobs began, and I crashed with them for one night. There was always something exciting to do at the weekends. Once, I was going to a barber’s place and saw some IITB peeps heading to Akshardham. Long story short, I had to explain to a sleepy Lakshay why I was returning at 2 AM from Delhi when I had gone for a 30 min haircut. The next day, I acted on Kalyani’s advice (my biggest mistake 😂) to visit a barber in the suburbs of Gurgaon. After walking for 30 mins through an unpaved road, I reached a pothole as large as a lake. I had to cling to the roadside fence like a spider to a wall to cross that abomination of a pothole, but I finally got to a decent barber.
I saw upwards of 12 movies in theatres during my stay. I even met a few school friends and had unforgettable experiences wandering through Delhi’s Gardens, cafes and expressways to Ghaziabad. Meeting them was the biggest highlight of my trip. You people are missed. We even pulled a few pranks in the office on Anindya from KGP by changing his nameplate to a somewhat obscene one. Tarun pulled another one by setting Kalyani’s scary portrait as the screensaver on many desktops (Every desktop had multiple monitors, and Kalyani’s face popped up on all of them). This internship was a wholesome experience where I met so many peers from Bombay, Delhi, Kharagpur and Guwahati, like Esha, Navneet, Ridayesh, Ritish, and others. Well I wasn’t offered a PPO at the firm. There were a few reasons behind it, but one of the major ones being ineffective communication with seniors and me who didn’t give my all in, for I realised, however great this company might be, I wasn’t truly enjoying the work I was doing there.
I didn’t know how wrong I would be until I started preparing for placements. Shikhar, Prakhar, Lakshay and I were left to sit in the placement drive while others accepted their PPO. The placement preparation was much more challenging than I would’ve done to fix the bug in my internship project. However, I knew that dwelling in the past would get me nowhere, and I had to focus on my preparation. While residing in Hall 5, I found new friends in Kartavya, Utkarsh, Devendra and Ramveer. I often prepared with Lakshay and Kartavya for coding and quant strategies. Varun and Soham would often assist us when stuck on a complex problem during our preparation. I gave most of the tests along with Kartavya. On one occasion, his laptop burst into flames as he opened the lid. Of course, he couldn’t give the test for that company, but the incident unlocked a new fear that I didn’t know existed. Another time, the campus was put on high alert due to a leopard spotting near the Director’s Bungalow. I jokingly said we’d be safe if we went in a cab to NCL from Hall-5 (~ 1km). Listening to the ridiculousness of the argument, he challenged Kartavya and me to go to NCL through an Uber, and he’d be willing to pay for that. And off we went to give Graviton paper exuding elegance (and maybe foolishness). A few moments later, another friend reached the venue on a skateboard to ridicule the stupid idea.
Day 1 was very near, and the uneasiness started creeping in. It is in times of high pressure that you question yourself the most. But when surrounded by a seastorm, you sail right into the waves. The path is always difficult; it’s meant to be. Had it been easy, everyone would’ve crossed it. All you need is a bit of courage and the right support group, and you’d be through. I received an offer from a reputable Dutch HFT firm before Day 1, and I was overjoyed. Although my eyes were targeting my first priority company, Glean! The offer in hand helped me calm down and gave me much-needed clarity of thought. At 12 AM, I sat for Glean and gave 3 interviews in succession. The results were to be announced in 15 minutes, and I was extremely nervous. Every second felt like millennia, and I had slightly messed up the last round. Would I be selected or not? I decided I didn’t want to live in constant discomfort, so I headed for the Graviton interview. Just before entering the gate, Varun called me and said I had received an offer. The moment was pure bliss. The hard work of these past few months didn’t go in vain.
I immediately accepted the offer and pulled off from the placement drive. A friend from coaching days was in the Graviton interview panel, so Varun and I briefly talked with him. He even offered to interview Soham on the spot. It was rather funny as he was ready at the interviewer’s desk, asking him, “Arey aa jao bhai tera bhi interview le lete.” But Soham kept declining and said, “Humko dena hi nahi, kuchh padha hi nahi hai zamane se.” I spent the rest of my day helping Shikhar out, and he got an offer from Flipkart by the end of the day. Kartavya had also scored the Graviton quant position. Prakhar, Earth, and Harshit all got placed within a few days. Despite the recession, the placement drive was an astounding success for us. Just after the placements, we vacationed in Vietnam for a week. Talib, Chauhan and others joined us from Korea. This turned out to be the best trip I’ve ever been on. Getting stuffed in the sand, trying crazy food, getting into trouble with a communist policeman, and moped racing on the hilly roads in pitch-black darkness, we collected so many unique experiences.
I knew my time at IITK was limited, so I chose to spend the last semester in peace. To protect my sanity, I took up just ONE course. It’s the one that has auto-accept on during pre-registration, I’ll leave it to the reader to guess, sorry for being cryptic 🙂
Turns out that course was the farthest thing from ‘chill’ because my visit to IITB was largely spent in a room trying to figure out an assignment. We missed out on exploring Mumbai with some new friends we met at IITB. Kanodia came to the rescue for the assignment again. Apart from that, my last sem was a relaxed and fun experience. Sure we were chased by ferocious dogs while exploring mango orchards, but it’s these experiences that you remember ten years down the memory lane. Things like scaling random rooftops, singing my rendition of Kajrare, playing fruit ninja IRL with a sword-sized knife I bought from E-shop, hairstyling Prakhar like Faisal Khan, having a deep conversation with random SIS Guards, tasting Utkarsh’s expertly mixed cocktails on Kartavya’s birthday. As I was leaving IITK, I couldn’t help but feel upset, for I was to leave this place as a student, and who knew when I would relive these moments.
“It’s important in life to conclude things properly. Only then can you let go. Otherwise you are left with words you should have said but never did, and your heart is heavy with remorse.” – Irfan Khan (Life of Pi)
This semester, I tried to leave my comfort zone, take up new interests, make new friends, and collect as many experiences as possible at IITK. “Par kitna bhi try karlo, kuchh na kuchh chhut hi jata hai.” I feel it’s important to do your best and be content with it. Writing this AWL was an absolute delight, as recollecting every memory would bring a smile to my face, and I’d have an even greater appreciation for these amazing people I call friends. This was IITK through my lens. Signing off.
Written By : Ayush Shakya
Edited By : Rahul Jha, Sruthi Subramanian
