Raghib Anwar is a graduating Y19 student from the Department of Electrical Engineering. In the twenty-second edition of As We Leave, Raghib emphasises the importance of following one’s passion and pursuing what one is genuinely interested in, rather than what is perceived to be resume-boosting.
Disclaimer:- The views presented below are the author’s own and are not in any manner representative of the views of Vox Populi as a body or IIT Kanpur in general. This is an informal account of the author’s experiences at IIT-K.
The four years came to an end, and I could never have imagined that it would reach a climax in such a manner, transforming not only my aspirations and social circle but also reshaping my very identity. What’s even more interesting is the fact that I never anticipated having to write in English again after my friend had to revise my confession message to my crush due to its nonsensical grammar. Writing this article is really tough because I have to figure out what to include and what to leave out while reflecting on the multitude of experiences that unfolded over these four years. So, just like I always tell my friends, “I’m like an open book with some closed chapters,” this article is the same: it’s an open book with some closed chapters. So let’s begin…
Intent to Leave a Long-lasting Impression
Growing up in a family where the highest academic achievement was matriculation, the weight of responsibility fell upon me as I embarked on a path to becoming the first engineer in my lineage. Although my parents didn’t have high expectations, they were happy that I got into a top engineering college in India. They believed in me and thought, “Yeh sab sambhal lega ab” (He will handle everything). College life commenced, and with it came a search for meaning and purpose. The pressure to excel academically was not as prevalent in my case, but I wanted to make a mark on my college journey. During orientation, a question was posed: “What do you expect from your college life when you look back after four years?” I responded, “I don’t know what lies ahead, but mujhe bas apni chhaap chhodhni hai( I want to leave a lasting impression).” So, I started exploring different activities and events on campus. I wholeheartedly participated in various events, but nothing matched my interests. I enjoyed dancing during the fresher’s night, but some seniors advised me not to join the dance club because it could take up too much time. I followed their advice, but my grades suffered anyway. So yeah despite not going to Dance Club I still didn’t put effort into studying hence ended up as chhaggi. I realized that I would encounter numerous seniors who would generously provide me with a multitude of advice regarding how to navigate college life. Their insights may have proven effective for their own experiences, but it is important for me to carefully consider their perspectives while simultaneously crafting my own path. By attentively listening to everyone’s input, I can ultimately discern and pursue the approach that aligns best with my individual needs and aspirations.
The second semester started, the seniors started creating hype about Galaxy, and the first-year students of Hall 5 were very enthusiastic about it. I vividly remember hearing a rumor about a Y16 student who had secured a 1.6 crore package, stating that his fondest college memory was dancing in Galaxy during his first year. Inspired by this sentiment, I decided to participate in the Galaxy Dance Competition, which was very challenging. Regular nights out for 20 days was testing my patience, and at many times I wanted to give up dancing, but somehow I managed to survive. Finally, the day of the performance arrived. Dancing on that stage filled me with a sense of achievement and pride. I realized that representing my pool gave me such a good feeling so what will be the level of feeling I will get by representing my Institute? At that moment, I made a firm commitment to continue my journey with the dance club, regardless of the obstacles ahead.
Everything was going well; we won the Galaxy, and I went home in mid-semester recess, and then the Long Night came (yes, I am a GOT Fan XD). The COVID-19 pandemic hit, bringing fear and uncertainty. Well, not everything was bad about the pandemic. The institute cancelled the end-semester exams, and that’s how my first year ended.
The Long Night
During the challenging times of the COVID-19 pandemic, I found myself grappling with feelings of loneliness and sadness. I became the secretary of the Dance club, but dancing at home wasn’t easy. Thankfully, my wingies (my wingmates) made the lockdown easier for me. I was lucky to have such great people in my wing. In the first year, our wing D2 had gained a reputation for its remarkable unity, and this spirit prevailed even during COVID-19. To make the most of our situation, we devised various means of entertainment, such as engaging in online gaming sessions of “Among Us,” “Smash Karts,” and “Psych” (a game we had enjoyed since our first year, often leading to memorable nights out) and Discord, or Zoom bulla sessions. As an SG, I dedicated a portion of my time to engaging with my bacchas and wing bacchas and organizing bulla and gyan sessions. Additionally, I formed friendships with fellow IITK students from my hometown of Indore, and we would occasionally spend time together.
The fourth semester of my college life proved to be the most challenging, as I was confronted with a personal tragedy that left me emotionally devastated. I couldn’t sleep well for a long time. Life pushed me into such a situation where I couldn’t see any way forward. I couldn’t figure out how to handle myself, and I wondered how I would face people. I am immensely grateful to my wingies, who provided support and uplifted my spirits during that time. Their encouragement and assistance guided me through the challenges, and I will forever appreciate their kindness. In April’21, we went on a trip to Dharamshala and climbed the Triund trek. That trip helped me heal a lot. At the end of the trip, we hoped to meet again after a few months when college reopened. Unfortunately, the second wave of COVID hit India, and we went into lockdown again.
Because of my past experiences, I decided to join the Counselling Service. I applied to become a Core Team Member, even though I didn’t expect much because the competition was tough. But when the final results came out, I was really happy because I got selected.
The Best Year
As I stepped into my fifth semester, little did I know the incredible journey that awaited me. Before that, I had conducted over 700 interviews for the selection of Student Guides and had spent less time preparing for internships during the summer break. Research wasn’t an option for me because I needed a job to support my family’s finances after graduation (a common responsibility for many middle-class students). Despite facing multiple rejections, I eventually landed an SDE Intern position at Razorpay. If you want to hear the full story, feel free to DM me for guidance!
Working in the Counselling Service wasn’t as easy as I thought. It required a lot of emotional effort, but the results and appreciation were limited. However, the best part was the opportunity to help people on a larger scale. Despite the challenges of working online, we planned and executed various projects that I absolutely loved, like “Safarnama” – a series of interviews with people who shared awe-inspiring experiences, and the “Internship Comic Series,” which received a lot of praise from our campus community.
In October, the administration called back Resource Constraints students to campus. Alongside them, CTMs were also called to execute the logistics of the stay and rules decided by the admin. Those few months between October and December turned out to be some of the best times I had on campus. With fewer people around, we CTMs formed close bonds and supported each other through our shared challenges. We really used to bond over our traumatic experience XD. Nightouts spent planning registrations and orientations in RM were etched into the fabric of our collective memory. I became so emotionally attached to the Counselling Service that I prioritized its work over my studies. Right in the midst of our end-semester exams, the Y21 batch arrived. However, thanks to our amazing team, we managed to smoothly conduct their registration and online orientation while juggling our academic commitments. Thanks to those galaxy nightouts, I could work day and night and help my teammates conduct the orientation. Our tagline, “Some call it chaos and we call it family,” set the campus abuzz with a wave of hilarious memes. The freshers showered us with love and appreciation, but deep down, we knew that these connections would evolve as they settled into college life. Nevertheless, those moments remain dear to my heart.
In January ’22, the entire Y19 and Y20 batch returned to campus, bringing back its vibrant atmosphere. I met someone really special who was there for me during tough times and enjoyed good times with me too. Someone who accepted me with all my flaws and helped me to become a better version of myself.
Despite facing the third wave of the Omicron variant, we had developed strong immune systems and resumed offline events. This marked the beginning of my Dance Club journey once again. Participating in a flashmob became a whirlwind of excitement, especially as I balanced managing the Counselling Service and the dance club simultaneously. The OAT overflowed with resounding cheers and applause as we delivered an unforgettable performance.
Shortly after the flashmob, the Y21s joined us on campus, presenting us with the challenge of organizing a mini offline orientation to revive the orientation culture. However, with multiple campus festivals happening concurrently, finding suitable dates was very hard. Finally, we got a date but, just before the scheduled day, all our bookings were unexpectedly canceled due to a gazetted holiday and the unavailability of workers. So we had two choices, either we could end the tenure now itself and prepare for the end-semesters or we could go and give one last fight to find different venues and re-plan the logistics of orientation. We made the second choice and we literally ran from office to office and buildings to buildings to book venues for conducting events and re-planned and restructured the orientation and finally, we did it. I consider myself lucky to have worked with a team where everyone remained enthusiastic, even as our tenure neared its end. Finally, we did “The Core Team dance,” and I delivered a heartfelt signing-off speech. And that’s how my tenure and the third year ended.
Making My First-Year Self Proud
The story of the Core Team tenure sounds like a happy ending, right? Let me tell you other side of the coin. During my tenure, there were incidents that unexpectedly stirred up my past traumas, leaving me emotionally unstable. These inner struggles led to conflicts with some of my teammates, as I was never one to hide my true feelings. I was not two-faced or in better words, you can say, “diplomatic” person. My heart was deeply invested in the Counselling Service, and parting ways with its work was a tough pill to swallow. I wanted to become the Coordinator to be involved in CS. However, my emotional behavior and tendency to take strong stands led my seniors to doubt my suitability for the position. Although they tried to console me by suggesting I could still contribute unofficially, my aim was never to collect positions for my resume or secure consulting jobs. I simply wanted to make a meaningful impact on the institute and bring my CS initiatives to life. I wanted to make the first-year Raghib proud.
Following my seniors’ advice, I got involved as they had suggested. Yet, it didn’t feel quite the same. Others held more authority, and my suggestions carried little weight. It was then that I realized how challenging it is to contribute without official positions. Nevertheless, I persisted, providing input and contributing to the Counselling Service as much as possible. The worst part was when my own friends started using me as a bad example of a core team member causing me to question myself. Struggling with so many self-doubts, I decided to move on from the Counselling Service (Just like moving from an ex-girlfriend lol). Since I had already accepted a Pre-placement Offer, my motivation to leave my room was nonexistent. However, I did find solace in a fantastic group of juniors, and we enjoyed hanging out together occasionally.
During the placement season, the job market was tough due to the recession. I considered myself lucky to have accepted the PPO, but my role shifted to pushing resumes and motivating my wingmates. It was a tiring experience, and I empathized with those going through the nerve-wracking process of job hunting. Eventually, my wingmates found placements, and we celebrated with a party in our eighth semester.
Feeling dissatisfied with the way my college life was nearing its conclusion, I found inspiration in the dialogue from the movie “Tamasha”: “Kya hua? Pasand nahi ayi ending? Toh badal do! Tumhari apni kahani hi toh hai.” Encouraged by this, I created a bucket list for my final semester.
After an exhilarating trip to Goa, where we narrowly escaped sinking when the banana boat unexpectedly threw us into the sea, I returned to campus for Inter-IIT Dance Competition practice—an item on my bucket list. The extreme winter weather in Kanpur had its toll, leaving our entire dance team sick and relying on paracetamols and cough syrups to survive. The train journey in a sleeper coach to Madras worsened our condition. Despite the adversity, we performed admirably and secured second runner-up in the street battle and group dance categories. Other IITs held our Dance Club in high regard, a testament to the legacy left behind by our senior members.
I also participated in the street battle of Antaragni, completing another item on my bucket list, but it was our juniors who made us proud by winning the Jitterbug for the first time in history. We were overwhelmed with joy, and tears of pride flowed freely. Next on my bucket list was guiding my Hall 5 juniors to victory, securing the coveted Galaxy and GC titles for our Hall. It felt like a gift from our juniors to us, the enthusiastic Y19s of Hall 5, so we can proudly say “Jab tak campus me rahe, na Takneek haari, na Galaxy haari aur na hi GC.” The final event I participated in on campus was the Dance Extravaganza ’23, where I danced alongside my wingmates (a cherished item on my bucket list) and the COps of CS. On that unforgettable night, our dance club juniors surprised us, the Y19s, with mementos that read, “A token of appreciation for his immense contribution to the club.” Emotion welled up within me as I read those words. I am forever grateful to the Dance Club for helping me regain my confidence. It became more than just a club—it became a family where I truly belonged. As we Y19s of the club clicked photos that night, locking eyes with one another, a silent understanding passed between us: “It’s over.” And just like that, my college life came to an end.
Over the course of four years, this campus has showered me with love, just as I have cherished it wholeheartedly. I have experienced the pain of losing precious individuals while being blessed with the presence of incredible souls. Experienced the self-doubt of being the side character of my own story (trust me it’s a very bad feeling) but also got the confidence to face any obstacle that is coming in my life. There were moments of immaturity in decision-making, yet there were also instances where I displayed remarkable maturity when navigating through emotional cases on campus. Reflecting back, I may not be certain if my first-year self would be proud, but I take immense pride in the journey I traversed, the hurdles I overcame, and the person I have become.
The purpose behind writing this article is to provide valuable insights for my juniors, with the aim of imparting meaningful lessons from my personal journey. It is crucial for them to engage in activities and clubs that bring them genuine joy and fulfillment rather than solely focusing on the perceived value it adds to their resumes. Developing diplomacy skills and emotional control is essential in today’s world, and while it is important to learn these skills, it is equally important not to be diplomatic with close friends, as it may ruin your relationships. Lastly, The concept of holding positions within student organizations was originally designed to enable students to contribute and represent the student community in various capacities before the administration rather than solely aiming to secure jobs in consulting firms. Countless seniors have made significant contributions without holding formal positions, prioritizing what is right for the campus above seeking recognition through position ratification. If your only motivation is to enhance your resume, you might end up doing the bare minimum for ratification. That is one of the reasons I feel why the administration is overpowering students on campus. Hence, instead of asking seniors which position of responsibility would make their resumes stronger and help them land consulting jobs, juniors should inquire about the roles that align with their strengths and where they can contribute most meaningfully.
I would like to end with a quote I personally resonate with:
हज़ारों ख़्वाहिशें ऐसी कि, हर ख़्वाहिश पे दम निकले
बहुत निकले मेरे अरमान, लेकिन फिर भी कम निकले
– ग़ालिब
Hope you enjoyed reading.
Written By: Raghib Anwar
Edited By: Vedanshi Aggarwal, Zainab Fatima
