Anchal Gupta is a graduating Y19 from the Department of Computer Science and Engineering. In this piece, she talks about embracing the beauty of solitude, her experiences at various clubs and the importance of learning from our personal experiences.
Few days passed after college was officially over. Feeling exhausted from the multiple CNB trips and a heart heavy with all the emotions, I returned back home. Slowly, the feeling of college being finally over was settling down. With last goodbyes and last hugs, I thought I had got the closure that things might not be the same anymore. But the night I sat down to look at old photos, memories flooded back. Each picture was worth a thousand words. In my mind, I relived all those moments. Oh! The urge to bring it back. Sometimes, there were flashbacks of how it all used to be. Gradually, I would also have to accept my obligations toward my family because campus can no longer be my escape. Times will change, people will change and we won’t even be in touch with all of our friends; nonetheless, things may change for good. We can only accept what was in the past and must realize it is over now.
I still vividly recall the morning I left for IITK to begin my college. From crying on the first day of leaving home to crying on the last day of returning back to home, this journey has made me who I am today. You can stop reading this if you are here to read an AWL that reminisces my 4 years or is a guide to how college life should be. You’ll eventually figure it out and have enough experiences in your four years that are worth looking back on. I have too many pleasant memories to pen them all down here. I prefer to concentrate on those uncontrollable factors that make you feel like you’ve had enough but are essential for your growth.
You would not remember this place if it were not for the people. So many familiar faces will never gather together ever in life. The places, the night outs, the clubs, it was, after all, all about the people. Along your journey, you may experience betrayal and toxicity even with those closest to you. There will be other occasions where you feel like these people are permanent. Still, eventually, they might break apart. But believe me, you will be fine in the end and the true ones will inevitably remain. Eventually, you will be able to handle such situations. Even if the surroundings and circumstances affect your behaviour, your attitude reflects your inner strength. People rarely take the time to sit down and have meaningful conversations nowadays. Perhaps a simple venting session could resolve lingering resentments. Friendships are meant to be cherished, and many could have been salvaged if people had simply communicated honestly. A senior once advised me that if you can overlook the flaws of your friends, do it wholeheartedly, as finding such people elsewhere is unlikely. Prior to parting ways, make sure you reconcile and have a heartfelt conversation with each individual. Whether we will reunite or maintain connections with the remaining friends is uncertain.
Nevertheless, it’s likely that you will at least reconnect with your batchmates while you may not frequently encounter juniors, a senior once told me. Engage in conversations, and share your knowledge and experiences with as many juniors as you can. Personally, I met so many amazing people, including seniors whose words have profoundly impacted my life and juniors who allowed me to reflect on my journey so far.
It’s also important to address the issue of loneliness in campus life. Sometimes you might feel alone, whether due to conflicts with friends, a lack of interest in socializing, or any other reason. It’s crucial for people to learn to embrace their own company and invest in themselves during moments of solitude. Some people, weak people, fear solitude. That being said, I’m not suggesting that one should remain isolated indefinitely. Take the time to sit with your loneliness, but emerge stronger from the experience. As the saying goes, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. And, of course, talk to others when the weight becomes overwhelming. I, too, have been through a time when I encountered loneliness and was afraid of being alone. However, I grew stronger by interacting with new people and strangers who changed my perspective. I began to appreciate my own company and invested in self-improvement. The key is to not fear being alone and to spend meaningful time with your thoughts.
In college, I also learned what to say and how much to say to whom. These are lessons that come from personal experiences, including instances of betrayal or rumours. Speaking of rumours, it’s important to not care about what others gossip about. Even if you are the subject of rumours today, people will eventually forget. Don’t let these things hinder you from going out and exploring. For the juniors, I will definitely advise them to go out of their rooms, explore clubs or any other activity, have a social life, meet people, get to know things, and get new perspectives. Many individuals choose to refrain from involving themselves in clubs, committees, etc, to avoid compromising their academic performance. However, let me assure you that the pressure you feel from seniors and academics will ultimately help you grow. These hardships serve as valuable learning experiences. Even if it seems overwhelming, as long as you prioritize correctly, you will find a way to manage your time effectively. Remember, you have to endure and overcome these challenges to become a person you can be proud of.
We all lost and gained so much from this journey – people, happiness, memories. Friends whom we thought would stay for life, with whom we had thought of so many plans but none got executed and will never get executed. However, we have learned so much about the world around us and ourselves. There were moments when our hearts sank and moments that brought genuine happiness.
I began my journey with the Dance Club, creating numerous cherished memories there. SPO gave me the most unique people connected together by the same thread. In my first year, I used to be spontaneous, over-energetic, and enthusiastic about life in general which a lot of my friends could not even stand. I had all the enthu the clubs needed. However, in my fourth year, they told me they have seen me grow into a mature individual. (I am still the same person for some of my friends :)). Regardless of whether you are quiet or spontaneous, you will change, and when you look back at your first-year photos, you’ll realize how much you’ve grown. You will take pride in the journey you’ve undertaken and will be grateful for everything. I don’t mean to boast that I have understood everything and become overly mature. No, I don’t want to brag about anything. I simply want to emphasize that this college experience has brought about significant changes in me. Every person and every encounter I had along this journey has played a role in shaping the person I am today.
“Live as if you were living already for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now.” ― Viktor E. Frankl
This place will never be the same I felt it throughout my 4 years and after so many ups and downs, it will turn out to be fine. It did for me atleast. I followed my passion, danced to my heart, had the most incredible SPO core team tenure ( that even got the best results so far ), represented IITK in Inter IIT, felt the crowd cheering for us, had an amazing social life, went to the most epic trips, went to workations, attended the grandest wedding with my friends, saw the most unbelievably beautiful sunrises and sunsets, felt nature at its peak, had unforgettable night outs and late night talks, saw the most precious smiles and the most depressed faces of my friends (during placements especially :p), had the most amazing seniors and juniors, been to my lowest and the highest, witnessed deaths, been overwhelmed, did crazy parties, laughed wildly, had regrets about how things ended and how I could have done somethings better, started my first sem with Antaragni and ended my 4th year by being a part of galaxy, and the list goes on. By the time you reach fourth year, some people around you or even you, yourself want this college to end because you have had enough of this. Still, after all of it, you would reminisce and cherish all of it.
P.S. – Even the thought of going into the outside world scares me. College is a cocoon that protects you over the years so much so that you don’t even know how the world outside is. I don’t know if I am even ready for the corporate world.
Written By : Anchal Gupta
Edited By : Likith Sai, Shruti Dalvi, Vrinda Sharma
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