Disclaimer:- This is just a story and what I have felt in my time here. The intent is not to sound too preachy but to just lay out what learning I could garner cause we all are learning each day, and I may be wrong at some points.
“Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.”
As I sit here in my home(no, not IITK), I’m about to do one of the most challenging tasks any student would have to do, i.e. write in words the journey of IITK. Pouring out the emotions we feel during this time in a few words is almost impractical. However, I’ll try to make it as brief as I can.
Almost two years ago, I was appointed to look after the “As We Leave” article series as the Vox editor. I remember talking to seniors who were hesitant in writing the piece, wondering if they hadn’t done something special or hadn’t got the biggest job, or felt like they were irrelevant to the campus in regard to As We Leave.
I told them that, in my opinion, we, the students of IIT Kanpur, are just too special to have an ordinary story. I am saying this with 0% boast and exaggeration, but plain honesty. Every person here has a story to share, act as a guide for our future legacy bearers, and one to look back on and be aware of how things went about in these four years. Thus, even if not for As We Leave, everyone should write their story and, if things align, get them published for people to view.
I joined VOX in my first semester but didn’t work on something significant until one day when I got a call from a senior asking if I would like to work on an article related to election coverage. At the same time, a friend had asked for my id card to campaign for a candidate contesting for the President, Students’ Gymkhana. And to get away from the campaigning (I mean, why should I campaign for someone I don’t even know), I agreed to be a part of the article(de-mock-racy). This article was not only big on paper but also opened my eyes to the “Vox feel”. It made me understand how much power not only Vox but any general body member has. It made me realize that our campus can be dynamic at times, with hundreds of activities. There is not only learning everywhere, but you also meet seniors and people you connect with who would be of help in one way or another in the future. Hence, one should try not to sit in a room, watch series, play games, etc.
When I came back to college in my second year, I thought of trying some other body, and thus I joined the election commission. Since I worked on the De-mock-racy article, I got a sense of excitement for elections being very dynamic.
There too, I learned a lot, mostly around people. I also learned that trust is crucial in terms of who you trust and how much faith you bestow in that person. The exact amount of trust in various people can have very diverse consequences. It reminds me of something I would like to tell (entirely my opinion):
Don’t trust anyone. Hear out their advice and suggestions, but don’t make decisions only for the sake of not hurting them. You never know if that person genuinely wants good for you or thinks of something else.
There were a few moments during my second and third years when I felt like the biggest loser.
I went to a Bollywood night at Antaragni in my second year with one of my friends. As we both entered the pronite ground, he ran away at the speed of the light to his friend circle distant in the crowd. The worst part was that since almost everyone was busy, he was the one who asked me to go with him. There I was for around 10 seconds, standing still, wondering what had happened. The fun music of Shankar Mahadevan, to which everyone was dancing, was not so fun for me. I wanted to run back to my room as fast as possible, change my clothes and go back to sleep. But I guess sometimes things happen for a reason. As I came to my room filled with disappointment and a tinge of existential crisis, after about an hour, one of my other friends called me up and asked me to come to the events ground. I said I am going to sleep, and he replied with some sweet sentences in Hindi, which I can’t quote here, and there I was at the events ground.
That night turned out to be way more fun than I had expected. Trust me, Antaragni was right there at that moment for me because whatever you do in life, it’s not legendary unless your friends are there to be a part of it.
Third-year, in my opinion, is one of the most significant years of college, as there is stress for bagging an internship (which I didn’t get, so I got no advice for that). Also, the students are heads/coordinators of bodies where they manage and take the lead over the members and the body’s activities. Being a Vox editor, I was also pretty excited about it. But Covid had other plans, and things didn’t go the way I expected/planned them to be in terms of the series and articles I had in mind. In the end, I was not completely happy. Still, I was satisfied with the work I could do as I felt that I was honest in my responsibility.
When I looked after AWL a couple of years ago, I could not have been happy with the destiny that fell over. I got to meet one of the gems of a person through her AWL, whom otherwise I would have never met. A simple question of “How were you able to manage your time and get the motivation to do so many things” turned into two years (and counting) of a beautiful friendship. When in lockdown, people needed someone to be there to listen to your everyday rant and BT. Even though she had a full-time job and home chores to do, she was there. She was still a senior who had many other juniors and colleagues to talk to and help, but she was there for a random Y18 like me. That made her special to me. She made me realize that sometimes, a few extra hours with someone can be enough even to cancel a trip to Banaras.
And it hit me that Naina from YJHD rightfully said,
“Jitna bhi try karlo bunny, life mein kuch na kuch to chhootega hi, to jahan h wahin ka maza lete hai.”
2020 ended, and I was yet to understand what changes had occurred in me. It felt like nothing changed when almost everything had changed. The fourth year began with the stress of placements, and since I hadn’t done a proper internship, I was pretty worried. Still, I was sincere in devoting my time to preparing during the summers and a few months later. Though I didn’t like coding much, I would still spend a few hours on it, which made me feel optimistic.
As the placement tests began, the administration announced that students could come to campus now. While it gave many people too much joy, I was hesitant. The question of how the bonds I’ve developed with people online shall transcend into offline, how people have changed, how I’ve changed, all this represented too much fuss, especially during the placement season. As Newton’s First Law stated, I needed some force to change my current state. And that force came in the form of advice, “Ghar pe ruk sakta h, lekin wahan jayega to dosto ke physical presence mein support milega.” And there, at that moment, I packed my bags for Kanpur.
As I reached there, the person who was amongst my closest people during the lockdown, with whom I sat for hours on zoom discussing the placement strategies, with whom I could share anything, who could do the same with me, seemed to disappear. This bond which felt the strongest and unbreakable for me broke, and there I was, stranded alone amidst the placement season.
The fun part of these bonds you make with people is that you may be having the best of times, but the next moment you see that person chilling and alright without you. That shit hurts cause you don’t have a problem with that person’s happiness, but the fact that we are sad. We, too, should be happy, especially when this transition from being in the best moments to almost forgetting is unclear. But one must make efforts only until a certain point, after which you should not think of why that person left, but rather cherish the ones you have right now. At the same time, one must focus on oneself and aim at improving each day.
“Sometimes things have to fall apart to make way for better things.” This was true for me as I found friends who helped me in my placement tirelessly, though they knew nothing about what turbulence I had in my head.
On Day 2, slot 1, I was shortlisted for two straight interviews, about which I was confident, but I wasn’t able to give even a single round in both. As Day 2 slot 2 started, I gave interviews left, right, and centre and reached the last round in almost each of them but couldn’t crack them. My mother asked later that night, “Ho gaya kya ?” I replied, “Nahi, kal dekhta hu.” I could also feel the sadness in her tone as she said, “Koi na kal accha hoga”. I quickly ended the call by replying, “Ha chalo, good night”, and I just broke down, and tears rolled down my eyes endlessly. But again, placement is a game of patience. I woke up the next day with new hope and zeal.
Two of my friends, Anubhav and Harshit, were from another wing, and I used to go to their wing for random bulla or to ease off my stress. They got placed on day 2 when I wasn’t. The next day, they visited my room twice to check up on me and calm me down.
The second time they came, I received a call from SPO about my confirmation of placement at Redseer, and they shouted more than anyone else. That’s what placement is about, but if you think that’s how placement ends, then you’re wrong.
Placement ends only when all your friends get placed. I remember I didn’t sleep for roughly 36 hours because a few of my other friends were not yet placed.
Hence for placement, all I can say is that study material is almost the same: coding, aptitude, case studies, etc. (depending on where you want to go), but the most important thing is friends. Make good people your friends, and at the same time be a good friend to them because the mental support these friends can provide at this crucial time, nobody can.
The last sem was nothing short of a rollercoaster, where frankly, lows were low, and highs were damn high. I wouldn’t want to change a single event that happened to me this sem. I know this is hard to digest, but somehow, I was the luckiest guy. I met people who became family. We created moments and stories which are not the best for this AWL but will stay close to my heart forever. Two people to whom I want to express my gratitude are my friends Rohit and Nisha. They helped me in ways I can’t describe. They helped me get through the not-so-good phases of my life and never made me feel left out.
There are few other notable mentions without whom this journey here at IITK wouldn’t have been possible: my C2 wingies, friends I got by my good luck – Sonali, Samyak, Kohima, and Ayushi. Without them, I wouldn’t have known how you should manage time to maximize productivity(socially XD) and why bringing maggie at 2 in the night is important:-P.
And yes, that’s the story of how I lived my life at IITK, it wasn’t perfect, but frankly, I don’t care what’s ideal cause I would not want to change anything in this chapter of my life. The people it connected me with, the life lessons it taught, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I don’t know what the future holds or what kind of people I will meet, but I know that the future is promising.
Tomorrow may be dark, and even the day after tomorrow might be filled with utter darkness, but the day after that shall be bright.
Written by – Milind Nigam
Edited by – Mohika Agarwal, Bhavya Sikarwar
