Ayushi Gupta is a Y18 student from the Department of Chemical Engineering. In this edition, she recalls her time at IITK and shares her journey as an introvert-ish ‘average’ girl.
Disclaimer:- The views presented below are the author’s own and are not in any manner representative of the views of Vox Populi as a body or IIT Kanpur in general. This is an informal account of the author’s experiences at IIT-K.
I was at home when I got the email about as we leave entries, and it just hit me hard that “we are the graduating batch, and that we’re going to abruptly leave the campus in just about a month.” I texted my friend with teary eyes that it was out, telling him to fill out the form, and I got the same reaction from him as well.
I always thought that Vox chose the candidates who would write the “as we leave” articles, and I was sure I won’t be the one to be picked for this. But it seems like that ain’t the case, so let’s go 🙂
Most people reading this article might not know me or might not have interacted with me. I have always been an average person, one who doesn’t enjoy the limelight much, I’ve always liked keeping a low profile. And being the introvert that I am, I believe I didn’t connect with many people on campus, but with whomever I did, I’m truly grateful to them for being a part of my journey.
As I said, I entered IITK as an introverted girl who wanted to explore every bit of the campus and notions of campus life, unaware of the vast experiences one can have here. I knew I was entering a new place away from home for the first time, that I would have to interact with new people and all, but the IITK culture of behens and ammas and bapus made this a bit easier for me. Right from the start, it gave me those 6 people (Ritika Ajmera, Sonali Gupta, Ipsita Mohanty, Shreshtha Agarwal, Nidhi Hegde, Shivangi Singh) I knew on the campus. Now I just had to expand my circle a bit, and through different club activities such as the treasure hunt, I was able to do so. I participated in many clubs initially but then didn’t continue for some reason or the other. This might be one thing that I have missed, being associated with a club throughout the four years at IITK. I was always more inclined towards acads. As has been the dream of most of the freshers, I also wanted a branch change to CSE at the start, but it was rather challenging to get a single dassa 🙂 So yes, I did complete my B-Tech in Chemical Engineering. The first year was all about becoming a part of IITK culture, absorbing different bits of it, making friends, learning that ‘maths’ and ‘mth101 & 102’ are worlds apart, being introduced to Mr. C, missing the Local Train concert, and becoming a part of the Techkriti team.
Then came the first and the only summers that I spent at IITK. Now that I look back at it, those were the only summers that I spent on campus, I’m more than glad that I did! I took up a project with Somu and a course hoping to have a productive summer. I also planned on taking up swimming. Summers indeed turned out to be great.. sleepless nights, all-nighters, night outs, RM and CCD discussion sessions, and the Banaras trip. The project went on to continue in the next semester as well. Shubham was our mentor– the coolest and the best we could ever get. Apart from some technicalities, what more I learned through that project was how to manage time and resources and make the most out of them. In that semester, I also joined SPO as a company coordinator, which I suppose was one of the most wonderful experiences at IITK. It gave me a first-hand experience of the offline internship and placement drive. The moments when everyone is eagerly waiting outside the interview rooms for their friend, all tensed up as to what will happen, and then the tears of joy, that placement hugs after he/she got the offer, that vibe it was all just mesmerizing and spellbinding. I couldn’t wait to see myself in their shoes with my friends and live those moments for myself.
The fourth semester started with me attending the CODS COMAD conference to present the project we had been working on since the first-year summer. I missed the starting few days of classes and went to Hyderabad, all dressed up in formals for the first time, filled with stage fright, with butterflies in my stomach, ready for the presentation. That was a really delightful experience. Somu and I were able to attract the attention of quite an audience. That was my first experience with public speaking, and I was pretty happy with the job!
Then back on campus, I struggled a bit to cope with the acads, midsems came on, and then the 7 days of midsem break, which extended indefinitely, marking the end of the 2nd year, all thanks to covid! Soon we landed in 3rd year with the internship drive in front of us. I had prepped really hard for the intern season – back a good internship and then aim for a PPO, that was the plan. Given the situation at hand, Covid meant staying indoors at all times, online sem led to losing contact with many people, unlike what we used to have back on campus. I was now talking to only 3 people from campus, Somu, Sonali, and Sumit. I was in constant contact with these 3 people, we prepped together, shared our BT, and in the end, apart from my family, they were the ones who were more than excited when I got the internship at JPMC.
“Whatever you do in this life, it’s not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.”
I must admit I’ve found some great friends at IITK and will always be grateful to IITK for it. The two online semesters were a pretty different experience. It was tough to stay motivated and be there for people. Mental health did take a resounding hit for everyone. Lost contact with a few, but stuck by the ones who mattered. I may have a very small circle, but they were always there in all the ups and downs. Irrespective of what happened, we always picked up where we left.
Something that I learned in my second year and yet again in the third and fourth year is that things don’t work out the way you thought they would most of the time. Whatever may happen, you don’t have to stop. Life still does go on. The “this too shall pass” cliche is, in fact, true. If things aren’t going your way, then take a step forward, don’t stop right there. Stand up for yourself because, at the end of the day, it’s just you who’ll be most affected by your decisions. You just have to keep moving forward. “We don’t grow when things are easy, we grow when things get difficult.” Another thing, “vibe” is really important. The people who you spend most of your time with play a great role in shaping your journey. Surround yourself with people whom you get positive vibes from. Keep a positive vibe yourself, after all how you make the people around you feel matters too. With the right people around, you’ll get through whatever comes your way.
The fourth year started with the dilemma of whether we’ll ever get to live the campus life or it’s just “degree.pdf” now. With the placement season coming up too, I was waiting for the PPO results to be declared, coz as planned, I won’t be sitting for placements then, and I hadn’t prepared for the placements. While everyone was giving coding contests, practicing for GDs, etc., I felt intimidated that I hadn’t even started anything, and that I was far behind the rest of the lot. So I started the prep, and in a day or two, the PPO results were out, and yeah, I got it! It was a big day for me. Everything fell in the right place for the first time. And this time too all my friends were more than excited, after all, “You don’t win alone. That’s just how it is.” Soon, we, the graduating batch, were called back to the campus. The placement season was going on, and with the sem continuing in online mode, all my friends sat for the placement drive. I was glad for what I had once wished to witness in my second year and lost all hopes for it due to covid; I was going to live that. I was there with each one of my friends at their big moment. I remember being up for 3 days straight till everyone– Somu, Sonali, Sumit, was placed; those 3 days felt like an eternity. So much stress, tension, excitement, and those feelings of ups and downs, I can only imagine the state of those who actually sat in the placement drive. I was so very tensed up and excited that I just could not sleep. To give you an instance, on Day1, Somu had an interview; I stayed up all night waiting for the call for the results, hoping that everything should go well; and as soon as he got the offer, he came to GH to break the news to me all excited. That was a different feeling altogether when you are so so excited for someone else that you are literally just jumping and dancing around lol. The placement drive added more people to my circle. I won’t be lying when I say that I’ve met and bonded with more people in my last year, especially the placement drive and the last sem, than in the rest of the three years. Kohima, Ankit, and then Samyak, Milind, Anubhav.
The last sem – I was very excited about it; I had a bucket list of last sem things that I wanted to do before leaving ready in my mind. But not a single bit of it went according to the plan. The last sem was divided into two phases – pre-midsem and post-midsem. In the first phase, I kind of secluded myself from everyone and spent all the time in my room – social anxiety. It became so bad that I’d skip meals, I wouldn’t go to the mess or the canteen. This being the last sem didn’t have much load on acads side; I wasn’t involved in any project or internship or anything, so I didn’t have anything to do. I started reading books and started playing the uke more often. Sonali and Kohima came back to campus, they helped me step out again. They made sure that I went to the mess- at least one of them came with me. I started going for a run every evening, thanks to Samyak. I started going out again for random strolls in the academic area, the oat road, or the director’s bungalow road. Things got normal eventually.
In the second phase, I joined the Udghosh team. I worked just for the last 15 days before the fest, but I never felt like I joined the team too late, not even once. It’s more than a team, a family, I would say. All the people were so welcoming; I got mixed up so easily. Hall-1, this place has so many memories associated with it – we worked, enjoyed, laughed, and cried together. Udghosh gave me some new bonds and played an essential role in strengthening some older ones. The moments on the pronite stage, dancing, singing, smiling, crying, the proud moments that we finally did it, all of the hard work was totally worth it. It was a pleasure to be a part of the team, where everyone was working passionately towards one goal and not merely for a POR. On the individual level, I’d say I became more confident as a head, handling and managing the team under me, worked with Y19s, and Y20s, we sat together all day long making something, or discussing something, and some of them started recognizing me for who I am alone, and not as someone’s friend as used to be the case earlier. It was something everyone must experience at least once in the four years, being a part of the organizing team, you’ll never forget it.
Now that I’m finally writing this article, I’ve left my hostel room – empty and taken some 4-5 bags filled with memories back home with me. This place, the people, the campus, and the experiences I’ve had have made me the person I am today. If I were ever supposed to go back in time, I might not want to change a single thing because I am happy with the person I’ve become, and all the experiences that I’ve had here play a significant role in it. It was a journey full of changes, some good, some bad, and it transformed me into the person I am today. As I leave, I’d say that I’d always miss the familiarity of this beautiful campus and that IITK, you’d always be the home I have away from home and the memories, love, comfort, and peace that you’ve given me in your environment and the people I’ve met because of you shall always remain unparalleled.
Also, my story, this journal isn’t complete without thanking these important people whom I met right in the first year and who became such an important part of my life that I can’t imagine them not being a part of my life. Somu, Sumit, Sonali. And the people that I met along the way, Shubham, Ankit, Kohima, Shreyasi, Devansh, Samyak, Kshitiz, Milind, and Anubhav. And in the end, the Udghosh team– Mradul, Jasmine, Deepak, Pruthvi, Shivangi, Ankit, Sujay, Ashray, Ayush, Harsh, and Somu.
Written by: Ayushi Gupta
Edited by: Sharvani Jadhav, Sanika Gumaste
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