Prateek Varshney is a graduating Y17 student from the department of Computer Science and Engineering. He talks about how his undergraduate journey unfolded at IITK in his As We Leave.
Disclaimer:- The views presented below are the author’s own and are not in any manner representative of the views of Vox Populi as a body or IIT Kanpur in general. This is an informal account of the author’s experiences at IIT-K.
Note to the reader. If you are here looking for some internship or placement stories or professional advice, you are better off scourging through SPO’s website or stalking my prodigious batchmates. Instead, this will be a narration of unsolicited insights and meta-perspective I developed during my life here @IITK. Things I wish I could tell my younger self.
It all started like every other guy who has just cleared JEE. I was not satisfied with my rank and branch. I wanted to switch my branch to Computer Science because that is what “seemed” closest to what I wanted to pursue. And for this, I forwent almost every opportunity to explore my interests during the first year. Be it on the Cultural or the SnT side, with the “great” plan that I can always pursue them later during the first year summers. My first mistake was “trying to live tomorrow”. Luckily, I managed to get a branch change to CSE. Everything seemed worthwhile since I had the area I could work in with some genuine interest. Only to realise down the line I might have been better off taking MTH instead. But you never know when life throws you a curveball.
The summer after my first year, I learnt that my mother had been diagnosed with Cancer during the end sems. My parents being deaf and me being the only child, it was essential for me to help them manage the subsequent surgery and chemotherapy sessions and be a pillar of support for them. This carried on not only till my summers but also a heavy portion of my second year and later years as well. Travelling to and fro between Delhi and Kanpur, missing out on classes, and taking my peers’ help to catch me up with assignment deadlines and exams. And down the drain went all my “exploration” plans. For a while, I used to justify my inactions with the story that it was merely an unfortunate turn of events that led to my missing out on things. Otherwise, I would have become the next big name on campus.
However, to face the truth, that does not explain my not filling the core team nomination form for the Counselling service when honestly I was too lazy to follow through with a 4-page form. My ignorance of not taking up a key position in the ANC Council when deep down I did not want to prepare a PPT or go through an entire day of grilling interviews. And many other opportunities I “missed”. It was not my circumstances but my lazy attitude and self-sabotaging tendencies to be blamed. Because guess what? Every person around you has their own struggles. You just don’t know about them.
I didn’t realise early on that The time I had on this campus was limited. Opportunities today would cease to exist tomorrow. The aftermath of realising this paramount truth comes the self loathing and feeling alienated . If you already are in a sticky place like I was then, Step one is to be easy on yourself and to forgive yourself for the time you have lost. Step two is to introspect and rediscover yourself, what ambitions you want to pursue and what opportunities will lead you to them. Step three is to ACT on it. The rest will follow. Step four is to have faith.
Cherish every opportunity you get. When an opportunity presents itself, which it will, pounce at the first sight of it. If you want to explore something, join a new club, research something, try a new sport, etc., do it! Truly hesitate to dilly dally around it. Keep reminding yourself that a day will soon arrive when you would have to leave this heaven behind. Do not fear to truly grab any challenge by its horns. So that one day down the line, you don’t have to bear the thought of what would have happened had you preferred the road not taken 🙂
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work”
Thomas A. Edison
In essence IITK itself is way too diverse to be completely explored and way too colorful to be fully perceived by one soul. And from these differences, from our own self and experiences originate judgments. And hence my second mistake. “To have personal biases” about clubs, societies, seniors, courses, departments, professors, people, career paths, and whatnot. Thankfully, I realized pretty soon the futility and stupidity of it all. There is more to people and things than what you might see on the surface. And more importantly, the freedom to make decisions and form opinions does not necessarily translate to good choices if you are not well-informed and have hard-lined biases.
So Drop all preconceived notions, explore and take your own damn responsibility. Don’t let the opinions of your seniors or friends or people, in general, determine what activities or sports or classes or clubs you take part in. It’s always good to reach out to people for advice, but the final call must be yours.
{Pro Tip (especially for freshers) for advice or general fundae, ask seniors at least two years above your batch. Your immediate seniors are people like you and may speak out of their freshly developed biases. While those at least two years senior will usually have a more wholesome view on things due to growth which additional experience brings.}
Put your feet down and be the driver of this car called life rather than a mere passenger. This is your canvas to paint. Don’t let hard-lined opinions and biases paint it for you.
“Accept the terrible responsibility of life with eyes wide open.”
Jordan Peterson
Having said this, Do not restrict yourself to a template life: Yes. IITK provides a plethora of opportunities and freedom to pursue them. However, they mean nothing if your only measure of “success” is just having “peaks” in your resume or excelling academically. Not that I have anything against polishing your profile via it. Mine certainly isn’t. But don’t limit your campus life to do exactly what your “successful” seniors did or the notion your immediate surroundings follows.
Rather go meta. When you look upto people, don’t always look at what they did but How they did it. Learn from the processes that people employ to keep them on their toes, to be organized and cognizant, and use them to pursue things that you’re genuinely interested in. If you’re having fun doing something, then keep on pursuing it. Be conscious of being peer-pressured to explore every unexpected opportunity or fill up every call for a nomination form that pops up on your webmail. If there’s one thing that our rich alumni history has shown, people can take the road not taken and do equally well in life.
During this journey the most important pillar will be your peers, your own set of close friends. “Birds of a feather flock together” and “You Are The Average Of The Five People You Spend The Most Time With.” The people you choose to be with define you and eventually influence your life. So find people who will challenge you, motivate you, help you develop and build upon yourself.
Open up! yes! Open up and try to Make meaningful connections. This can only happen when you ditch your facade, your judgments, your notions and truly embrace others and let others do the same. It is due to the occasional “Hi”(s) and nods that I was fortunate to stumble upon some of the most amazing people, who had always managed to elude the public eye. People with the most in-depth knowledge on abstract things, with incredible taste in music, art or cinema, who can any day replace your gloom with a 5 min comedy bit or mesmerize you with their poetic flair. So venture out of your wings, give every person you come across a fair chance and learn from them. You never know when your metal detectors might reveal some deep-buried treasure troves
“There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.”
William Butler Yeats
Be Kind to others and, most importantly, yourself. I have been fortunate to come across people here, who showed generosity and kindness towards me when I least expected it. I have shamelessly badgered so many people for help over these years that I can’t express my gratitude enough. I have learnt giving and being kind from them and I hope this part of IITK culture never fades out. Even sharing a wholesome meme can provide the dopamine someone needs to fight their everyday battles.
Some people are naturally adept at making great decisions in these battles, however, others (like yours truly :p) often swim in a sea of moderate decisions while stumbling upon the good ones once in a blue moon. As a result, we often become entrapped by our surroundings. We start measuring and degrading our worth by the outcomes of these decisions; mistaking transitory phases for perpetual plights. But
Just because you failed does not mean you are a failure. There’s a difference between failing and being a failure.”
Les Brown
Remember your fuck ups do not define you. You have been able to overcome struggles and traumas during your JEE days, so you certainly can do it again. You just need to reactivate that dormant muscle memory of yours. Be empathetic. To others and most importantly yourself.
A short note on love. A person whose own romantic adventures have been nothing but a myriad of getting friend-zoned, helping the person you like get back with their ex (yes you read that right) or living in the illusion of having something substantial; is certainly not a suitable person to preach about love. But i would still say, If you happen to like someone, then build the courage to speak your heart out. The worst case will be that they’ll simply decline you. But you already had nothing in your hands, so it will not precisely be a loss. But in the best case scenario, something beautiful will come out of it :). If you won’t take chances now in your college life then when will you?
Closure. As clearly evidenced from this article, I too have many regrets from my journey; who doesn’t!? But, the one treasure that I shall take with me are the memories – vibing at OAT with music, hitting every food spot in the campus and “trying” to settle our debts, dancing like maniacs in the “ecstasy” (at times literally) with friends, the Antaragni pronites, indulging in late night bulla sessions on the Hall terrace, pulling all-nighters the day before submission deadlines, lingering in others’ rooms more than my own room laughing at our own foolish acts.
“There’s nothing like the deep breaths after laughing that hard. Nothing in the world like a sore stomach for all the right reasons.”
Perks of Being a Wallflower
The campus is essentially a utopia where you can go berserk with negligible risk compared to the outside world. Develop your own opinion on things, tread along the road not taken and be whatever you want. This is what IITK provides you: A chance to reimagine and reinvent yourself. Here’s a shout out to everyone who is still on this incredible journey of their life! Make the most of your stay @IITK. And as always, feel free to ping me if you think I can be of any help :). Thanks for bearing with me through this long rant ^_^.
“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened”
Dr. Seuss
Written by: Prateek Varshney
Edited by: Jiya Yadav
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