Ananya Goswami is a Y17 graduating student from the department of Materials Science and Engineering. Divided into 4 chapters and a preface, she narrates her story through the 4 years at IITK.
Disclaimer:- The views presented below are the author’s own and are not in any manner representative of the views of Vox Populi as a body or IIT Kanpur in general. This is an informal account of the author’s experiences at IIT K.
Preface
This story is my journey of 4 years from a shy, introverted, underconfident and naive girl to a socially functional, somewhat confident and not-so-naive woman. Full of hiccups, awkward moments, laughter, heartbreaks and a whole lot of lessons, I hope this story gives you a fair idea of what to expect from IITK and lets you know that whatever path you chose, whatever roadblocks you face along the way, in the end, it will all work out for the best.
Chapter 1: Disbelief and butterflies
June 11, 2017, the day JEE Advanced results were announced. I was sitting with 2 laptops and 3 mobile phones, all trying to open the same site. Finally, the result came on the screen, and I was stunned with disappointment. Eventually, the disappointment faded, and I got busy with college preparation. Between filling 200 choices (yes 200!) on the JoSAA portal and saying final goodbyes to friends (no crying was involved then, unlike the April 2021 goodbyes :(( ), time went on.
On July 21, 2017, a rainy day, I entered IITK for the first time. On seeing the words “Indian Institute of Technology, Kanpur” in golden letters on the red brick wall, I suddenly felt an outburst of emotions. You know, it was hitting me for the first time that I had done it! All the hard work of 4 years, the long hours and sleepless nights had yielded this. And I hadn’t even taken a moment to process it, be happy about it or feel proud of myself. As it turns out, this will be the case for most of my journey of 4 years until I learnt better.
The first semester was pretty typical and low-key for me. I took up wall painting for Freshers and didn’t seriously think about joining any club. I was under the impression that devoting almost 100% of my time to studies would lead to a branch change (I’m so thankful that it didn’t happen for so many reasons). Results of mid-semester exams soon demonstrated that it was the wrong approach because I was making myself miserable. Studying all the time wasn’t helping my grades at all. I joined Prayas after that, and it proved to be a silver lining in that semester. I was excited about my CPA swimming, though, and I loved the time I got to be in the pool. After the end of the first semester, there was little hope that I’d be able to change my branch. The second semester was tough, and it took some time to come to terms with that fact. At the end of it, a senior gave me some advice that helped me a lot in the remainder of my academic journey.
- Improve time management and be efficient in the time you do study.
- Always solve past year assignments, exams etc. (I used to focus solely on the theory)
- Take a break now and then.
Chapter 2: Exploration
In the summer of my first year, I altered how I was approaching campus life. I started going out of my room, talking to new people (which was paralysing for me), and having a little more fun. I participated in the Summer of Code, organised by the CSE department and took a project under Dr Nisheeth Srivastava related to Cognitive Sciences (which regretfully went unfinished). I was an SG and the orientation week was an eye-opener for me; we used to be so exhausted at the end of every day, but it was so much fun. I started studying in the library and having group study sessions, which, apparently, worked well for me.
Consequently, things were beginning to go in a positive direction academically. I had also joined Raktarpan by then, which made many of my weekends exhausting. Still, the satisfaction at the end of the day knowing it was all for a noble cause made it all worth it.
Overall, the third semester was a roller coaster with academic highs and personal lows. I still had no idea about the bigger picture, about what I wanted for my career. These were some of the constant questions haunting my mind in the fourth semester while I struggled with ESC201 and PSO201. Coding wasn’t appealing to me even at that time. Moreover, I hadn’t explored my branch yet. This was because, one, I had already dismissed that train of thought. Two, I hadn’t encountered an apt channel for doing that until a friend came up with the idea of doing a UGP together the following summer. It turned out to be one of the best decisions I could have taken then, not because it pushed me towards my branch but because it made it clear that neither the field nor the research path was meant for me!
During the UGP under Dr Gurao, I was preparing myself for the upcoming internship season. However, since many of my friends were able to secure an internship for second year summers and I couldn’t, staying motivated wasn’t easy. But thanks to a few friends, I held my head high and kept at it.
Chapter 3: The best of times, the worst of times
The week before the first internship interview is when you have back-to-back tests for the Day 1 and Day 2 companies. Unfortunately, that was the week I had a 101-degree fever. I gave the tests thinking I won’t get shortlisted anywhere. Still, thankfully I got shortlisted for 3 companies on Day 1 and 2 companies on Day 2. Day 1 interviews started poorly since I hadn’t slept well the previous night. Slowly I started getting into the groove and gave the remaining two interviews, which went well, in my opinion. Sadly I didn’t get in. That night was one of the most challenging nights in my campus life. Also, due to the fever and speaking for an extended period, my throat started closing up, and I couldn’t sleep till 4am. All this amounted to increasing my nervousness for the next day. I talked to a senior at that time. He hyped me up about the next day and made me optimistic about the coming two interviews. So, I went ahead with the Group Discussion for the first one. Having some of my closest friends around me that day in the Tutorial block helped me with the nerves. Then the interview for American Express started, and I thought I messed up the first round. But as it turned out, I was misjudging the situation due to my closed up throat and toad-like voice :p. The next round went well, and the final round was even better. I, along with a friend, was walking back to our hall when we were called back to the LHC. We were both offered the internship! Whenever people ask me about my most cherished moments on campus, this moment is my top choice.
I was selected as the Overall Coordinator of the Community Welfare Cell at the end of my fourth semester. So, after the internship drive, I focused on the Community Welfare Cell wholeheartedly. Working in CWC has been one of my most confusing experiences. One moment it was gratifying, satisfying, challenging and exciting. But the very next moment, it drove me crazy, mainly because I was handling the responsibility single-handedly. That being said, I did have a lot of positive experiences and learnings from CWC. Speaking in front of the whole auditorium in Orientation 2019 and ideating and executing an entirely new campaign for Organ Donation Awareness gave me a much-needed self-confidence boost. The self-confidence that I had lacked right from the start of my campus journey. Managing the conflicts in the team taught me a lot about leadership, team-building and patience. I dealt with insensitive seniors while I was sick and still pulled through by completing all my duties without a hitch. This experience taught me that there will always be people who want to bring you down. There will always be inconveniences in your life, but what matters most is your dedication to your duty and the cause you believe in.
Chapter 4: Surprises
Coming to the final chapter of this story, which sadly took place at our homes. This phase was something none of us had expected to go through: being at home for a year, working from home for internships and preparing and sitting for placements from home itself. All of it had its pros and cons, which I think we all know and have analysed in great depth already. However, I unexpectedly came closer to my extended family during this time. Game nights and weekly video calls became the new normal. I found out I liked baking cakes, apart from eating them too, hehe.
After completing the internship in July, I started preparing for Consulting placements. For a month, I laboured over my resume, making iterations over iterations of it, practising cases with a few friends and some seniors. That paid off when I was shortlisted for two out of the three firms. Eventually, I was rejected by both of them. Now, I was behind schedule preparing for the SPO placements, and the PPO results from AmEx hadn’t been announced until then. Hence, I was very clueless and anxious. Thankfully, I didn’t have to wait too long for the PPO results. One of the pros of being at home at that time was being able to see the happiness and pride on my parents’ faces. On hearing the news, my friends woke me up at 2 am and insisted on having a video call then and there xD.
Now that the serious business was out of the way, we planned a trip to Goa! The trip was terrific, the seemingly perfect end to the 4 years.
Until we got to know that we’d be able to come back to campus for a while! I count visiting campus for the last 1.5 months as a blessing which Y17 was so fortunate to get.
Meeting so many friends again, being in unimaginable situations, having all the coveted photoshoots, exploring campus alone at night and having those fun bulla sessions in wings again (@my wingmates, as I write this, Levitating is playing :P) was the perfect way to relive all the best parts of our 4 years. During the past 1.5 months, our wing spent a lot of time together playing games, exchanging stories which we earlier hadn’t. In these discussions, the issue of the rampant sexist behaviour in the campus community came up. As we shared our stories, we realised that all of us had been through sexist incidents (though with varying degrees of seriousness) in some manner in our 4 years.
The casual commentators forget how damaging it can be to a young woman’s psyche and self-esteem on hearing that she isn’t fit for that random PoR in the Gymkhana, about how she didn’t deserve to get that internship or win that competition, how her ‘behaviour’ isn’t compliant enough for the club or group to function, how someone’s reasonable expectations from a group of human beings were termed as ‘drama’, how she is easily offended by ‘jokes’ which are just jokes apparently. And these are just the instances of casual sexism we had encountered; the more serious ones were plain disgusting.
It’s convenient for us to ignore the problems in front of us, but is that what the “cream of the nation” is supposed to be doing, ignoring the wrongs staring right at us? It’s uncomfortable calling out on your friends’ problematic behaviours, but isn’t that what friendships really are, making each other a better person? Ask these questions to yourself the next time you reluctantly snicker at a friend’s sexist joke.
Nevertheless, IITK has given me so many memories, experiences, lessons and amazing people that can’t be captured in a piece of writing. I still wish that we had till the end of the last semester to stay on campus. But that’s just it; any extension period would feel inadequate; it’s that amazing a place! Saying goodbye to it wasn’t easy, but I’m so thankful that I could do it in person. I had no idea that just hearing some lines of a song, watching a friend from afar in the pharmacy or seeing the no dues slip from the hall office could make me break down and bawl like a 2-year-old. As I drove out of the campus, all I wanted was to soak it all in one last time, the people, the buildings, the laughter, the tears and the 4 years.
That was IITK for me. This was my story; some parts might be relatable for you, and some parts might not be. I hope you take the best possible insights out of them. As I write this, I am perfectly content with how everything turned out. I am glad I chose this place and that this place chose me too. IITK ka tempo high hai <3
Written by : Ananya Goswami
Edited by: Abhimanyu Sethia, Ayush Anand
