As We Leave #29: My Pursuit of Happyness

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In this 29th edition of As We Leave, Om Shrivastava, a Y21 from the Department of Electrical Engineering unfurls our campus cut version of “The Pursuit of Happyness”: disheartened JOSAA results to heart filled gratitude. From blank Zoom squares to midnight war rooms, from Tech-Meet golds to a council gavel that never cooled; Om’s story is a slow burn of doubt, grit, and self discovery. Between the all-nighters and an unintentional manifestation – “party confession”. This version of AWL carries the missed calls, side glances and whispered “what if’s” that make the wins land harder. It doesn’t end with a placement, it ends with chasing a postcode called “belonging”, learning that closed doors do creak if you keep knocking.

From having doubted every move to crafting every bit of himself, ready to walk into the unknown: imperfect, but steady~this is a story of “becoming”. And maybe, just maybe, that’s what its all about?

Disclaimer:- The views presented below are the author’s own and are not in any manner representative of the views of Vox Populi as a body or IIT Kanpur in general. This is an informal account of the author’s experiences at IITK.

Before we dive into the whole saga, let me introduce myself. So hi to all the readers out there, I’m Om Shrivastava. Before writing this, I was in complete mayhem, where to begin, where to end, what all to include, and most importantly, how to conclude everything in a single extract with a perfect moral to it. C’mon, life isn’t perfect, and neither am I, especially in the writing part, God forbid! So here’s my feeble attempt at bringing to you the journey of a boy, an introvert, so much so that he won’t leave his room for days, to a boy who wouldn’t even get the chance to come to his room for days. Throughout my journey, one thing I came to believe was …….

Chapter 1 : In The Beginning……

The old me, who was rejoicing in a corner for getting IITKGP MnC in the first round, had no idea how his table would turn around in the 5th round with his seat upgradation to IITK EE. I didn’t have enough rank based on the past cutoff of EE here, how could it happen? Let’s just say it was all pre-destined, as I had only filled IITK EE above in choice, I was certain I won’t get it. But that time, I couldn’t regret it more. The academics of Kanpur, and on top of that, Electrical, the one thing that not only Facebook and Quora (c’mon, it was really popular then) but my own physics solving capabilities refused the most. I couldn’t regret my life choice anymore than.

Fast-forwarding to the online semester. The fear of how I would sustain competition here, since now everyone around me is better in their own way, at least that’s what I thought. All the struggle of the past 2 years of JEE prep came up, all the work I did had gone to vain? My fears came to life when I got TA101 as one of the courses. As a person who can’t, for my own life, draw a single straight line, having to draw all 4 views of random objects, was nothing short of depression to me. My introvertedness was only adding to it, and with it being online sem, the only person to whom I could reach out for help was my elder brother, who would help me do my assignments. I was so much of an introvert that even during the online bulla sessions, I wouldn’t connect with anyone, switching off my cam & mic all the time, I didn’t even know any of my wingies’ names (or what does wing mean), no contact was made, I was as solitary as you can imagine me to be. Somehow, I managed the online thing by simply doing nothing except ranting about my choice.

Then one very fine day, when we received mail about our offline return, it was nothing short of happiness for me, but there, in hindsight, was this introverted person with low self-esteem and confidence owing to his fear of disinterest in chosen major, whispering in his ear all the things that could go wrong. There I was on the IIT Kanpur campus, trying to make myself a little place in this huge suburb. We started with orientation, everything was fine until the bond and connect. My introversion took a toll on me, and the nervousness of communicating with such a huge group forced me back to my comfort zone. I made a health excuse and left the place, thus skipping even the following day of orientation.

Throughout the entire offline semester, I did what every fresher does, night out with your wingies, water fight with C6 (We were in B6), playing mafia, roaming across campus, and most importantly wing outings.

Let’s come to what I didn’t do? Freshers (I didn’t even know it existed, didn’t knew when it happened), Scavenger Hunt (just because, at least, all my known ones were just not interested, and I didn’t ask any other group to take me in).
Though I was happy enough with the people I had by then in my life, all the late night talks, sharing things, pulling out pranks, Harlem shake with wingies, and most special, the day before the exam, looking back at pictures brings out all the nostalgia a man could have.

You know, how people say that change can be about only if a person finds something so touching that it forces them to change. Me? I would like to transfer his big baggage of credit to Chitresh, who once criticised me badly for staying in my room so often and sitting idly. His words were and I quote “Saale bas magta reh baith k, bahar kbhi niklega nhi,, kuch nhi hoga tera.” Harsh as those felt at that time, it certainly marked a turning point for me.

Chapter 2 : Midpoint Burn

So with no involvement whatsoever, I first tried to go for those PoRs where prior involvement didn’t carry much weightage. So, AnC and PPOC were an easy bag-in, which did make me rethink how easy it is to get a PoR. Then, a chain reaction followed. Seeing everywhere apply at multiple places, I too applied for SPO and SnT, and guess what? Being a secretary was not as big of a deal as I thought it to be.

First time an introvert got out of his little box was certainly overwhelming. Though I still couldn’t overcome my fear of speaking publicly, I did use this opportunity to gain much more than experience, a network of all these seniors and batchmates. With cold, wispy winter air came the buzz of Inter IIT Tech Meet. Shivam Singhal, a close senior, introduced me to it and suggested I prepare in advance for selection, and man, did it take more than just preparation. After facing multiple rejections, it was the Team Humanoid and Robo club that came to the surface and got me selected into JLR Mid Prep PS. Those 15 days of bunking in Hall-12 Robo club room (our new home on campus) with a bunch of us inexperienced 2nd years were all worthwhile, with the happiness I felt after seeing my visible contribution in the PS. The memories I made, the bonding I developed with the best Y20s and Y21s SnT ever had, and oh, not to forget, the celebration after achieving the gold medal, are still as fresh as new.

As y’all would have already there’s always something happening on campus, if you are active enough. Thus, with the end of Inter-IIT, came soaring high dreams of multiple sophomores to stand in elections, and after initial doubts I was no exception. Giving wings to my dream, in one such Inter-IIT party hosted by Y19s and Y20s of JLR PS, in a totally unconscious state, I said and I quote “Arnav, mujhe bhi gensec banna hai”. This was just a mere start of my seriousness and devotion toward council activities, without the slightest idea how it would become my whole identity. Can’t thank that one senior enough for motivating me enough to participate.

But everything you desire requires sacrifice, hardwork and difficult decisions to be made, which eventually embarks us on the journey we are meant to be ( or what we think we are meant to be). One such decision, where I had to drop MSO201 after midsems in the most overwhelming 4th semester of EE, with too many doubts in my mind regarding the upcoming intern season, was one of those starting steps to the journey ahead.

With summer came the passion to take up as many things as possible, projects under prof, summer projects mentoring, Summer course, and just to ice this whole cake up, acting general secretary for a month. Of course, my newly ignited council passion wasn’t going to die anyway soon. During the same time, I was running around the Admin offices, interacting with deans whose positions and their significance were way above my mind, managing SL booking, and came up with the idea of organising SnT’s first Tech Hackathon. Oh, did I forget to mention the intern prep in which I was lagging with no solid prior background in DSA of any kind? I was under the impression of learning new things every day I loved and which I did, but at the expense of my intern prep. If I could somehow turn back time, I would definitely rethink the duration for which the suffered intern prep could be compensated for.

This summer felt like a storm I had willingly walked into. Between the projects, internship work, internship prep, Council work, mentoring for the summer project, and to top it all off—a summer course—I was stretched beyond limits. There was barely a moment to breathe. Calls with family became infrequent, and my closest friends—the people who had meant everything to me in college—started to feel distant. Not because I wanted that, but because I couldn’t keep up. I thought I could handle it all. Turns out, I was wrong.

The summer passed in a blur, and before I could even process it, the intern season was at the doorstep. Thankfully, by then, I had covered DSA and probability & stats thoroughly. I was somewhat confident. The OPCs, whom I met during my CoCo period, hinted at the shortlisting of the techno-managerial and consulting roles by looking at my profile. Given my past experiences, I genuinely thought I’d at least land a shortlist in the techno-managerial domain.

But no—nothing. Not a single shortlist, except a random shortlist (yeah, that’s what various major banks and MnCs do). No shortlists for the roles I had prepared for, not even from the software and banking firms for whom I’d painstakingly completed every test. One after another, rejections piled up like unanswered questions. It was exactly 10 days after Day 1 that finally two shortlists came my way—Oracle India and Barclays India. I wasn’t too keen on the SDE path and was genuinely hopeful about Barclays—it felt aligned with what I wanted. But fate had its own plans. The Oracle interview was scheduled a day before Barclays. I knew I had one shot. That night, I didn’t sleep. I packed my bag, skipped breakfast, and walked into the Tutorial Block that morning with nerves and caffeine in equal measure. Dozens of students were already there. I waited patiently, anxiously, as nearly 40 candidates were interviewed before I got my chance.

And then, something just clicked. Maybe it was my survival instinct, or maybe all the pain and pressure just melted into clarity. But in that room, I was at my sharpest. Three rounds—each one smoother than the last. I didn’t fumble. I didn’t doubt. I simply performed. For the first time in weeks, I felt in control again.

During the intern season, the most disheartening thing for me how my resume pointers—something I had worked so hard on in the summers—didn’t help me score at all. Not once was I asked about it, not even in Oracle. Every round boiled down to dry technical questions. Then came Round 3—the manager round at Oracle. This time I expressed myself who I really was. I spoke about my extra-curriculars, my passion for leadership, and desire to pursue a managerial position while taking up the leadership role. The interviewer actually seemed impressed. But for god’s sake was it of no use. They had already picked 12 candidates (the number they promised SPO). I returned to my room crushed, trying to keep it together while my wingies tried to console me.

And then—ding. A mail. Recruited by Oracle India. Wait… WTF just happened?!

Turns out, two of the initial offers were revoked. They ended up offering the internship to me and one other person. Ta-da, suddenly I was on cloud nine.

Intern season did more than just give me an internship—it was a reality check. It showed me who genuinely stood by me and who were just around for their own convenience. I drifted away from friends I was once really close with. If only I had stayed grounded, maybe those friendships wouldn’t have needed repair in the semesters that followed.

Burnout hit me hard over the next 3-4 months. I was emotionally drained, and just wanted to escape—from college, from the toxicity, from everything. I stopped interacting with most of my batchmates, especially the ones from batti. It felt like I was slowly disappearing from the very circle that once felt like home.

I started spending almost all my time at the Electronics Club—either brainstorming new initiatives or simply chilling and chatting with my bacchas (secretaries). This was, hands down, the most wholesome position I held in my four years at IITK with no pressure, no burden—just pure involvement and joy. I grew so close to all of them that it started feeling like my own separate family where I was their bada bhai, sharing our life pieces, doing random backchodi and of course the club work. Beyond work, the movie nights, Diwali celebrations, and endless bulla sessions kept me hooked on. They gave me something to look forward to. And as a bonus, the club’s performance and reception on campus improved significantly. Everything felt smooth. Organic. Happy.

Chapter 3 : The Gameboard

Then came Antaragni—and with it, a sudden surge of political undercurrents around the upcoming General Elections. Until then, I had stayed away from anything even remotely political because a senior once told me, “SnT mein politics nahi chalti. That’s not our culture.” I held onto that.

But now, out of nowhere, it was like a storm had hit. “Bhai’s 2 Hall me collusion hogya, ab ye ye bhi jaaenge, isko is hall ke hec ka support h, usko is hall.”

I was just standing there thinking—Seriously? This is how it works? People I once believed would make great candidates simply backed out. That’s when it hit me: politics wasn’t just creeping in—it was taking over. Now after seeing everything in 4 years, I can easily affirm this bitter truth: to become an effective leader, you need both—the will to work and the political instincts to survive. Lacking any one could bring a lot of instability in any council.

I got serious about my preparation. Reaching out to seniors, trying to understand the landscape better, drawing a map of the people across batches whom I could possibly tap into later (let’s just say—that’s a story for another day 😂).

But due to the emergence of a dummy candidate from my hall and the usual pitiful hall-level political maneuvering, I decided to step back from the General Elections. Instead, I shifted focus to Inter-IIT high prep PS this time and secondly, the Winter Camp, which a few Y21s and I revamped, pushing it into the core team spotlight.

Through a combination of teamwork and a bit of luck, our problem statement earned a gold medal—marking my second Tech Meet gold. In that moment, the sense of accomplishment felt especially genuine, and I was quietly glad to have avoided the election whirlwind.

Right after the Inter-IIT contention meet in Madras, a few close seniors asked if I was really sure about stepping away and how I might regret it later. I just smiled and replied, “Kaam hi toh karna hai, ISec jaaunga… wahan election ka dekh lena aap sab 😂 .”

By then, my mind was already made up. Of course, things took an unexpected turn on January 5th, nomination day for GE’24. I’ll leave those details for another time—but they did change the course of my college journey.

That day, I chose a side. And from there on, I threw myself headfirst into Students’ Gymkhana politics. For the next 20 days, I spent most of my time at Hall 5’s I-Mid, especially Prakhar bhai ka room, with every plan, every meeting, every idea, a lot new memories and connections were brewed there. Going along with Dhruv & others almost all the time—campaigning, strategizing, sitting across hostels with different people. And somewhere in the chaos… I started to enjoy it.

The same politics I had kept myself away from—so consciously, even for the sake of my ambitions—was now becoming something I genuinely enjoyed. It was about the people, bonds, and a sense of purpose.

Within just a week of GE’24 ending, the nominations for Institute Secretary were out. And even before I could soak in the aftermath of the elections, I had already received a soft NOTA threat and little resistance due to my recent involvements as well as actions.

And then came D-Day. Despite all odds, I got elected—with an 18-4 vote from the council. It was the first time I ever presented in front of so many people in my life and realised how important role communication can play.

Over time, I became deeply familiar—almost too familiar—with the student politics: collusions, dummy candidates, covert recordings, betrayals. That naive version of me? Long gone. Instead of being disgusted, I got more drawn in and wanted to be present. Gymkhana wasn’t just a thing to me anymore—it felt personal.

All the ambition I thought I had lost urged me more to fulfill my responsibility.

I started working on everything I had proposed and from that, came some of the most impactful external collaborations I’ve ever been a part of. Working with UP Police, cold-reaching out to multiple startups for partnerships in HackIITK, all these efforts meant something and I finally got what I wanted, Networking with Alumni, Startups & great minds outside.

And just when you thought this chapter was all about politics and councils?

Nope.

All the days I spent with Chitresh and Patil (divyansh), they supported me all the time, taking care of me like their own brother (and damn, they are my own brother). How can one forget Hall-3 F block, my room F267, the place I liked most in the entire campus. That room and those roommates will never go out of my memory. All the time spent with them 2 (& my wingies), all the nights we simply stargazed from F block rooftop, is the most valuable thing I have in this academic year of 2023-24.

The 6th semester also gave me something I didn’t even know I needed—rekindled friendships. The people I’d slowly drifted from during intern season found their way back into my life. From a random, spontaneous plan to Ayodhya to watching an IPL match in Lucknow—(and making Ridin realize how good the place near Ekana Stadium actually is)—it was wholesome. Full circle.’

It was a strange, beautiful transition—from being a little innocent guy who hated politics—to getting knee-deep in the dirt… and genuinely liking it.

As for Summer ’24 and my time in Bangalore? Let’s just… skip that chapter.

Fast forward three months—here I am, back home after wrapping up my internship at Oracle, waiting anxiously for the PPO result with uncertainty about even accepting it. The thought of balancing placement prep, 65 credits (thanks to the three courses I had dropped earlier), council work, and Inter-IIT responsibilities felt overwhelming. After a lot of back and forth, I decided to accept the PPO—and with that, shifted my focus completely away from placement.

Chapter 4 : End of the Line

7th semester, the toughest phase of college – academics, career, personal life, and professional commitments—all came crashing down in waves.
I began the semester with Tech Sprint, gearing up for Inter IIT. We aimed to cover almost every domain. It quickly became clear how much we lacked in several areas. Every task I took on felt heavier than it should have, mostly because of my packed schedule. Still, I somehow kept things afloat—at the cost of my classes (all thanks to Ridin for covering my assignments).
Things went relatively smoothly… until mid-September, when CL nominations arrived. Once again, politics stirred. The same frustrating questions resurfaced: Do egos matter more than service to the college? Where is the line between fairness and favoritism? It was draining.

Amid this, I’m incredibly grateful to the Gymkhana stakeholders and the friends who stood by me. But the timing couldn’t have been worse—this all blew up right around midsems. Add to that some already ongoing personal struggles, and suddenly the one thing I had been most passionate about became a source of emotional anxiety..
The fallout, you ask? My midsems took a hit, and I had to drop my fourth and final course—Theory of Computation. And just like that, I missed out on completing one of my minors.

Somehow, after nearly a week of intense discussions, negotiations, and closed-door conversations, things finally got sorted. I was back in it—the very thing I had almost thought to walk away from. There was a moment when I was so disgusted, but I got back to the grind to adhere to my sanity.

Next up was attending the first offline Tech Board Meet, representing IIT Kanpur at IIT Bombay. Aligning with the Council Core Team and Tech Sprint mentors, mapping out strategies to tackle all the problem statements, managing the heaps of administrative work, and looking after the entire contingent, everything was smoothly working out.

We practically lived in the Senate Hall and DJAC, nights blended into days. And right there, beside me always, were Mohika and Anunay. This phase was the most emotionally charged part of my college life; everything I had done, everything I had pushed through, culminated here.

An amazing team—Anunay, Mohika & me—working with insane synergy, but not everything was smooth sailing.
As for the results? They didn’t land in our favor. And honestly, that deserves an entirely separate article. But even then, I walked away with a ton of positives, the dedication from the contingent, especially the current and incoming core teams, was truly unmatched. I still remember the sleepless nights, living on barely 3 hours of sleep, day after day, for like a month and a half. Mornings spent running around the DoSA office, evenings to late nights consumed in Senate Hall/DJAC. It was relentless.
But in that chaos, I grew. I became more responsible, more mature, more confident. I learned what it meant to carry a team, not just logistically, but emotionally. Of course, this came at a cost—my health took a massive hit. But looking back, I wouldn’t trade those moments for anything.
The time after the Inter-IIT contention meet and the result announcement was the first time in a very long while that I cried. It wasn’t just disappointment—it was heartbreak. The countless hours, the sleepless nights, the sheer grind put in by not just the three of us, but by the entire contingent… it all felt like it vanished in a moment.

In the thick humidity of Bombay, we—Mohika, Anunay, and I—stepped off campus. There were tears in our eyes, heaviness in our hearts, and disappointment written all over our faces while inhaling that cigarette, as the wind passed me, so did a wave of realizations, regrets, and what-ifs, that was my personal “Khada hoon aaj bhi wahi” moment.

Leading this contingent was, without question, the thing I am most proud of in my four years at IITK. And it shattered. It shattered in a way I hadn’t prepared for. I kept asking myself—where did we go wrong? When we got back to the room, I couldn’t even gather the strength to face my own team and break the news.

But then—something unexpected happened. I saw the Y22s. The way they carried themselves in that moment—with maturity, resilience, and quiet determination—moved me. Each PS lead wasn’t demoralized. In fact, they were more motivated than ever. That night, I addressed the entire contingent before the networking dinner, and what I saw in their eyes, especially from the Y22s and Y23s, was fire.
I hope they carry that spirit forward. That culture.
And just like that… enough of SnT. Let’s rewind to the final year—to the Bakchod Block of Hall 1.
Officially, I was allotted B-top. But practically, I lived in B-mid, my pseudo-room B205, with Ishan Saxena, mera bhai jaisa dost. It’s wild to think I barely knew 5–6 people in that wing earlier, and yet, by the end of August, we were a full-blown family. We went on wing outings, pulled countless night-outs, and had some legendary sessions (iykyk). Then came Antaragni, followed by Ritviz Pronite. The memories hit hard, especially with the realization that this was the last one together. We enjoyed every second—so much so, I honestly don’t even remember Day 4. 😄
By then, the placement wave had already begun. A quiet panic had taken over the campus. Friends were getting offers left and right, and every acceptance felt surreal, bringing relief and joy. Especially when you’ve already pre-booked your trip with those very friends, who were sitting for placements!
And then came the crown jewel of it all. After the Cult Meet, just before New Year, we flew off to Vietnam, my first college trip (too late but too good), and also my first international trip.

It’s hard to put into words what that trip meant. Maybe some things are best left unwritten. But one thing I know for sure: I’ll carry that journey with me for life.

As the final semester began, our only aim was to make as many memories as possible. From dancing in DE’25 with my wingies—something I never imagined myself doing—to participating in Galaxy one last time, I’ll miss going down almost every day, seeing juniors pouring their hearts into practice, planning, and prepping, Whether it was the last fest, those spontaneous chill nights, or just rejoicing with friends one last time, somewhere along the way, I made peace. Peace with a few regrets, a few missed goals, and a few dreams that didn’t quite land the way I’d imagined. But in letting go of some of those targets, I ended up discovering parts of myself I never knew existed. I explored things I would have never dared to even think of when I first walked into this campus.

It’s way too hard to even express in words what all time I spent with all of them, all the talks, a lot of bakchodi, a lot of emotional talk, and tons of memories. I am certainly sure I met the best people and I am grateful for such an experience. Maybe only a gallery could express it a bit but all those uncaptured moments, only residing in our memory is the best takeaway from my college life and this is what I will cherish always.

That shy teenager, filled with doubts and second-guessing every move… is now leaving as someone who’s far from perfect, but confident enough—to make decisions, to face uncertainties, and to embrace the unknown. Of course, there are so many friends, mentors, and juniors who haven’t been named here—but each of them has left an imprint on my journey and I’ll be forever grateful for all that I could from them.

So, how would I rate my college life? Honestly, I don’t care. Because not everything went according to the plan, I may have missed a few targets, dropped a few balls, or even lost some things I thought were important… but I grew.
I grew into someone who’s ready to face the real world. Someone who knows how to take a step forward, even in uncertainty. Someone who trusts himself. Someone who has friends who he can rely on.
And maybe, that’s what it’s all about. So here’s to the journey ahead—whatever it may hold.
The road continues. And this time, I’m not afraid to walk it.