Welcome you newbies! I’m sure that you have a helluva doubts and queries that need to be answered. “What are the classes like?” “I am single and ready to mingle; how easy is the “mingling” part?” “I am supposed to meet XYZ at the FacB; what exactly is a FacB?” Ahoy, hold onto your horses! Just stay right there. Let me assure you that your confusion is going to get worse from here, for you are about to be inundated with a wave of linguistic epicness that forms the very soul of the language used here. Some of these words you will take an instant liking to and some you will think absurd to a frivolous degree. But after a few years here you would loathe to substitute these words with any other, for none other can describe how you feel as succinctly as the ones this campus teaches you. You would learn all of them in due time but here is a list to drive away any bewilderment and perplexity that might be caused due to your ignorance (No offense intended). So, I request the bachchas and bachchis to kindly pay attention as they are introduced to the plethora of linguistic expressions they may encounter on campus.
Abridged Abbreviations:
• Lib – The Den of Maggus, lots of books and free air-conditioning on summer afternoons.
• C.C. – Computer Centre, don’t be surfing any dirty stuff here lest your id card be confiscated.
• FB – One of the tallest buildings on campus , for some reason the Y13 thinks it’s haunted
• C.S. – Computer Science, Counselling Service, Counter Strike, the most ambigious of the lot, ask for context.
• Endsems – Bane of life at IITK, Also dubbed as Maggu Springtime.
• Audi – Auditorium… large enough to hold around 2000 people… I ain’t exaggerating, it happened once during T-20 World Cup finals.
• ShopC – For once and for all… It is a market not a Shopping Centre.
• Acads – Academics… no matter how short or sweet a nick you might give them… they shall remain as harrowing as ever.
• AP & DP – Academic and Disciplinary Probation… nothing to fear… no probes have been used in their proceedings… well, up to now that is.
• Termi – It would’ve been great to have a pet insti-termite with the same name… but that’s not the case, is it?
Legitimate Lingo:
1. bachcha – (noun) Term generally used by an individual to address another individual lower in the power hierarchy (read lower batch)
For freshmen – Do not address anyone with the above label. That divine right is reserved for your seniors alone.
For maggus – These species shall arrive at your doorstep seeking academic advice and books. They shall consider themselves lucky to return with anything as much as pencil shavings.
For others – Proceed with caution. Nowadays these things have DP written all over them.
Derivatives – bachhe/bachchas(plu.), bachchi(fem.)
2. maggu – (noun/adj) Nocturnal entity. Spends days in lecture halls, spends nights in room/lib studying. Can be spotted either eating in the mess or tip-toeing to the water cooler at 2:00 am in the night. Generally tends to avoid all social/human contact.
For freshmen – They are your idols if you want a high C.P.I.[1] but don’t wanna have a life.
For maggus – This is what normal people call you… so next time, please respond 😛
For others – Contact for info on topics ranging from endsem syllabus to average hair density on professor-moustaches… they know it all.
Derivatives: magai(noun) – favorite pastime of maggus
3. bakait – (adj) Culturally proficient personality. Generally active in one or more of the clubs of the Cultural Council. Carefree and fun loving. C.P.I. may or may not be stable or respectable.
For freshmen – Will ask you to ‘work’ for Hall Fests and Clubs. Also will lay stress on resume building. Listen to individual only if treat is promised under a signed contract.
For maggus – Don’t bother… they’re not gonna talk to you… you not gonna talk to them.
For others – Hang around them for a good time. Then katlo.
Derivatives – bakaiti(noun) – quality of being bakait
4. chaapu – (adj) Similar to bakait but has C.P.I. of maggu. Highly rare and endangered species. High placement offers.
For freshmen – They are individuals who go down in folklore. Nice to know them.
For maggus – Don’t worry… the only difference between you and them is that they have girls… where you’re at you probably don’t need them anyway.
For others – You have 2 options – Befriend or Befriend.
Derivatives – chaapna(verb) – what a chaapu does
5. baap(m)/amma(f) – (noun) Minions of the Counseling Service (not to be confused with the beloved C.S. as in Counter Strike). They are the first acquaintances that individuals make here and also the first acquaintances they usually deny making.
For freshmen – Be weary. During interaction, they’ll be your guardian angels and afterwards… “Who are you?”
For maggus – Just check your trash folder in the mail… you might’ve been one!
For others – Forget and forgive.
Derivatives – bhais, chachas, dadas, the occasional amma(nouns) – The ‘Extended Family’
5. bajar (adj) – This one’s for keeps. Implies low intellectual capacity or the complete lack of it. Bajar is a versatile term used to describe anything and everything that triggers an instant dislike for itself.
For freshmen– No this word should not be used to describe your seniors, at least not in front of them.
For the rest of us – Don’t you think this word is a little overused?
Derivatives – Bajraap (noun)
6. bulla (noun) – Pretty handy time-wasting techniques, particularly during the midsems and endsems. In simple terms, bulla sessions are an embodiment of the pure, unadulterated joy of talking/discussing in a group.
For freshmen – This is the seasoning that you must have to add flavor to your exams.
For maggus – Oh, don’t bother!
Twisted Terminology: Some expressions that find place only in the wing…
GPL – Strengthens the philosophy, ‘There’s more joy in giving than in receiving’
Gaddar – Masterpiece, as in the movie… handpump and all
So that’s all for a first lecture folks. Hope this equips you to discern the mood of conversations better. Next post after your Orientation Program (if you survive it). Toodles!
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[1] Cumulative Performance Index, better known as the Curse of the Pissed IITian
Written by Iffat Siddiqui and Rachit Rastogi
